


Incendiary

by CyrusBreeze



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Feels, Not Beta Read, Pregnancy, Secret Relationship, Unplanned Pregnancy, We Die Like Men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-09-04 23:31:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 66,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16799224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyrusBreeze/pseuds/CyrusBreeze
Summary: in·cen·di·ar·y/inˈsendēˌerē/adjectivetending to excite or inflameVictoria Hughes and Lucas Ripley's relationship had been fun, casual, and with no strings attached, but an unexpected pregnancy just might change that.Completed.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I changed my NaNo project halfway through November and started working on this. I currently have about four chapters done (not in order though, lmfao). 
> 
> Also, this fic will explore one of my favorite Vic headcanons: Vic is adopted and comes from a multicultural family with seven kids.
> 
> (Also, italicizing everything is exhausting. Unless stated otherwise, when Vic calls her sister, the majority of the conversation is in American Sign Language.)
> 
> I'm not sure how I feel about the title but maybe it will grow on me. It's subject to change. We shall see. 
> 
> This chapter was brought to you by McDonald's (for the third time this week), Hershey kisses, and being in bed before 1am for the first time all week and still not sleeping. 
> 
> Trigger Warnings: discussions of abortion and general pregnancy related stuff

Victoria Hughes liked things in her life to be uncomplicated. 

Sure, fire fighting was complicated on the surface. But in reality, it wasn’t complicated. Problems had solutions, or they didn’t. If there was a solution, you got out of the building or the situation and you lived to see another day. If there was no solution, you didn’t. Difficult, certainly, but uncomplicated. 

Sure, she was sleeping with the Chief of her fire department, but that was strictly no strings attached. It was just sex. It had been just hot, fiery (no pun intended) sex, no feelings, for the past eight weeks. 

Victoria’s life had been largely uncomplicated. Except for right now. 

Right now Victoria Grace Hughes was in an extremely complicated situation. 

She stared at the stick. Well, the three sticks anyway, and she panicked. Three tests, and all of them confirmed that she was pregnant. 

She was so fucked. 

She had options: abortion or keeping the pregnancy for the time being. And if she chose to keep the pregnancy, there was always adoption instead of parenting. 

She didn’t know what she was going to do. 

This would throw a wrench and her career. Hell, news of the chief and her relationship (if it could be called that) would throw a wrench in her whole fucking life. What would happen to her standing within the Seattle Fire Department? She knew firefighting was a male dominated field that was still rampant with misogyny. 

It would be less complicated to get an abortion, and try her damndest to put the whole thing behind her, but perhaps that wasn’t a decision to be made while sitting on the cold bathroom floor.

She should text Ripley and ask to meet with him to discuss things, but that would just make an already complicated situation much worse. 

She knew one thing, however. She needed to get her pregnancy confirmed by a doctor as soon as possible so that she could turn in the paperwork to Sullivan. It wasn’t safe for her to be running into burning buildings with a fetus inside her. Hell, she had been doing it for her entire pregnancy already and she prayed that there was no effect on the fetus. 

Victoria got off her toilet seat and stood. She stared at the three tests, tests that had sealed her fate, and she breathed deeply. 

She needed to call someone, but who could she call? 

Travis didn’t know she was sleeping with anyone, so he was out of the question. Gibson knew about Ripley and her, but he wasn’t exactly the epitome of emotionally stable, rational decision making at the moment.Andy and Maya both knew that she was sleeping with someone, but she had never told them who, and explaining Ripley to them would be too stressful when the pregnancy was the biggest thing on her mind. 

Vic inhaled deeply. She knew exactly who she could call. Gabriela had been in Vic’s shoes six years ago, and she had made it through.

Then, she headed to her laptop and opened it. She clicked on the FaceTime icon and dialed her sister, Gabby’s, number. They rarely shared phone calls. Most of their communication was via Snapchat or text. It was just hard to find time to FaceTime. Between Vic’s 24-hour schedule and Gabby’s job and busy life, they rarely had any free time. And regular phone call were out of the question, while Gabby was Hard of Hearing and could hear fairly well with her hearing aids, she still preferred ASL as her primary method of communicating with family. It was what she was most comfortable with. 

Vic clicked dial, and Gabby answered on the third ring. 

Gabby’s face lit up, her brown eyes shining. Vic grinned and took a moment to absorb her sister’s dark loose curls hair and her light brown skin tone. Gabby was easily Vic’s favorite sibling, and seeing her always made Vic feel at ease.

“You called!” Gabby signed. “It’s been a long time since we talked.” 

“Work is hard,” Vic signed in response. “I’m tired all the time.” 

“Same! I’m tired and stressed,” Gabby signed. “Nina makes me tired, and my students make me stressed.” 

Vic giggled at her sister. “How’s my niece?” She asked. 

“Sleepy,” Gabby signed. Gabby shifted her laptop to show where Nina was curled up on the other side of the couch.

“Cute!” Vic signed. 

“Have you been crying?” Gabby asked, studying Vic’s face for a long moment, and this was the downfall to having to Skype her sister. Her sister could read her face like a map. 

“Yes,” Vic signed back. There was no use in trying to lie to her sister. Gabby knew her very well. She was Vic’s favorite sister for a reason. 

Gabby made a face. “What’s wrong?” She asked. 

“I’m pregnant,” Victoria signed. 

Gabby gasped audibly. “Are you okay?” 

Vic shook her head. “I’m scared.” 

Gabby’s shocked face turned to sympathy. 

“You did it with Nina,” Vic began, her signs small and her hands shaking. “How did you do it with Nina?” 

“It was hard,” Gabby signed. “It’s hard now, but I love Nina so much and I’m willing to do anything for her. That’s why I kept going, for Nina. Finding out I was pregnant was terrifying though. How far along are you?” 

“Eight weeks,” Vic responded. Her face fell and she could feel tears prickling at her eyes. 

“What else is wrong?” Gabby asked. 

Vic inhaled deeply. She had called Gabby specifically for advice. That meant she had to tell Gabby all of it. “The father of my baby is my boss. Actually, he my boss’s boss’s boss. He’s the Chief of the entire Seattle Fire Department. We started sleeping together a few months ago. No strings attached. It was just sex; there was never supposed to be a relationship and now I’m pregnant.”

“Fuck,” Gabby said, out loud. 

At Vic’s arched eyebrow, Gabby laughed. 

“What?” She signed. “The situation called for it.” 

Vic rolled her eyes. 

“Are you going to tell him?” Gabby asked. 

“Did you tell Nina’s dad?” Vic countered. 

“Yes,” Gabby signed. “I did eventually. He wasn’t happy, but he pays child support and that’s all I can ask for.” 

“That’s not…” Vic paused. “This will destroy my career,” she signed. 

“You could have an abortion,” Gabby signed. 

Vic felt her breath hitch for a moment. She could have an abortion, make this all go away, not have to risk her career. She would have to worry about raising a child. And yet… “I can’t,” She signed. “I can’t. I don’t know what to do.” She paused. Of all her siblings. Gabby was most likely to understand what she was going through. 

"When you were pregnant with Nina," Vic signed. "Did you ever think about your birth mom and what she must have felt when she was pregnant with you?" 

Gabby's face was soft. "Pretty much every day," she signed. "It's weird, I guess, feeling all of those emotions and knowing that my birth mother must've had them too. It was definitely difficult."

And then she started to cry. Gabby helped. She was Vic’s sister, her best friend. She had gone through this with her own daughter Nina. And still, Vic felt the weight of everything that was happening. There was someone else, someone who knew exactly what she was going through: young and inexperienced and pregnant and scared. And she had made the choice to give Vic up or place her or relinquish whatever lingo Vic was supposed to use. How had she made that choice? Was she scared? Did she feel the same way that Vic did? Did Vic's birth mom call her own sister in a panic? Did she even have a sister? 

Once she started crying, Vic couldn’t stop. They were loud, ugly, sobs. Her vision was blurred and she couldn’t focus on the screen even if she wanted to.

She drew in a breath, forcing air into her lungs, forcing her body to calm down. 

“Vic,” Gabby said. 

“I’m scared,” Vic signed. Then, she wiped furiously at the screen so that she could see Gabby. 

“When I got pregnant with Nina,” Gabby began, signing again. “I told myself to take things one day at a time. Things were very overwhelming. Today you found out you were pregnant. That’s all you have to do today. That’s a lot. You don’t have to make a decision, about pregnancy or about parenting right now. Right now you can sit with the news and decide how you feel about it. You can make a decision tomorrow or the next day or the next. Deep breaths, deep breaths.” 

Victoria inhaled slowly, deeply. She could feel her body returning to normal. She could feel her mind starting to relax. 

“I’m a little teapot short and stout,” Gabby began, her singing voice was soft, probably so that she didn’t wake Nina. 

“Here is my handle; here is my spout,” Vic continued. “When I get all steamed up hear me shout:” 

“Tip me over and pour me out!” They finished together.

Vic took another deep breath, steadying herself. “Thanks, Gabby,” she signed. “I’ll call you in a few days. I feel like we haven't talked in a long time.” 

“I gotta put Nina in her bed anyway. She’s gonna get a neck cramp from sleeping on the couch all the time. Good night.” 

“Good night,” Vic replied. She ended the call. 

One day at a time. One big moment at a time. Today, she learned that she was pregnant. Tomorrow, she could review her options. 

-X- 

_January 22, 2019_

_I’m pregnant. It feels weird to write that down. It’s a lot to process, and it brings up so many emotions that I don’t know how to deal with._

_Mainly emotions about my own birth and the circumstances surrounding it. I wonder how my birth mom felt when she found out she was pregnant with me. Did she cry? Did she panic? Did she consider abortion? And why didn’t she choose it? Was she religious? Or did she simply not want to terminate?_

_I don’t even know if I want these questions answered, at least not right now, not when hormones are raging through my body and not when I feel ready to cry at the drop of a hat._

_Jace talks about someday finding our birth mom, abstractly, like maybe in the future but most definitely not right now._

_I understand that. I wonder if age played a factor in her placing us. Did she think she was too young? Did she have Dreams and ambitions and a career on the line?_

_I wonder how or if my birth father had anything to do with her and her pregnancy. Did he know? Did he know and not care? Did they make the decision to place me together? Since Jace and I have different birth dads, when and why did they break up, if they were even together? Where is he now and what does he do?_

_All these questions that I’m not sure I want to know the answer to._

_And that’s just about my emotions and my past._

_What about my future?_

_What will Ripley say? Does he even want kids? Will this be the end of our relationship? This has been casual, fun, what will it become? Will he demand I have an abortion? Force me to sue for child support? I don’t think that’s who he is. But I don’t really know him. We’ve pretty much only had sex. But I know him as a fellow firefighter and as SFD’s Fire Chief. It’s more likely that he’ll at the very least want to help parent the baby. Will he become a weekend dad or want fifty-fifty custody? Will he want to stay together?_

_If we stay together, then what do we tell the rest of the fire department? How will this affect my career? Will he be fired? How will my teammates react? How will Sullivan react? Will I have the financial stability to raise my child if I end up losing my job?_

_I know that Gabby told me to take things one day at a time, but how can I? This is the rest of my life I’m talking about. If I choose to keep the baby and raise it, I will responsible for an entire whole human._

_What if I fuck the baby up? He’s an entire human that I have to be responsible for for the next eighteen years. There’s a lot of room for error. I am so so so scared._

_I don’t know what to do._

_I have an appointment tomorrow. I guess I will begin to make a choice after seeing the baby._

-X-

There really was no other option from the moment Vic saw that fetus on screen. It didn’t look like a baby; it looked like a blob or kidney bean. And Vic was somehow, inexplicably already in love with that little kidney bean. 

“According to measurements and the appearance of your fetus, I’d say that you were around eight weeks along,” Dr. Deluca said. “Would that fall in line with previous sexual activity?” She asked. 

Vic nodded. So this fetus had been conceived in the locker room at work. How convenient. The one time she didn’t have a condom and birth control decided to fail? Nexplanon was supposed to have a 99.8% success rate. The chances of her getting pregnant were supposed to be slim to none. 

"Things are looking good," Dr. Deluca said. She pulled the ultrasound machine from Vic's vagina and Vic felt her body relax. If she never had to do another vaginal ultrasound again, it would be too soon. 

“I need a doctor’s note for my captain,” Vic said aloud, lowering her legs and closing them. She could put her underwear back on later. Vic sat up. “I’m a firefighter,” she explained. 

“I’ll let my secretary know,” Dr. Deluca said. “Are you aware of your options?” 

Vic nodded. “I’m keeping it.”

Dr. Deluca nodded. “You’ll need to start filling out the paperwork regarding your health history and that of the other parent’s if you have access to it.” 

“What if I don’t have access?” Vic said quietly. “To either of those,” she clarified. “I’m adopted and I don’t know much about my biological parents. And the baby’s father is, he’s… I haven’t told him yet.” 

“Just fill them out to the best of your ability. I do recommend telling the father if you feel safe doing so and you’re able to. It’s best to have as round of a health history as possible, especially given your circumstances. If you are more interested in your own health history, I would recommend reaching out to the agency that handled your adoption and seeing if your birth parents filled out a health survey. It’s worth a shot.”

Vic nodded. 

“Beyond that,” Dr. Deluca smiled. “I’d like to see you in about 4 weeks for a check up.”

Vic nodded. 

Dr. Deluca printed out the ultrasound, two copies, handed them to Vic, and then she left the room. 

Vic stared at the picture. “Hello, Bean,” she said. And it just felt right. “It’s just me and you for right now, but don’t worry. I’m working things out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you love it? Hate it? Please comment. 
> 
> Also, I'm looking for a beta/sounding board to help me edit this fic and help with characterization. Hit me up on tumblr @cyrus-breeze if you're interested. 
> 
> Y'all are in for a wild ride. See you next Friday.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not gonna lie, this chapter was like pulling teeth. 
> 
> Characterization feels like my downfall, and beyond Vic's fear of fire for a few episodes, most of what we see from Vic is lighthearted and fun. She's kinda the life of the party. I had to go back and watch a few episodes to see how Vic copes with stress. (Pro tip: Don't binge watch during finals week. It's a terrible idea. I might fail chemistry, but at least I can recite the opening narration of "Stuck.") 
> 
> This isn't my favorite chapter (that would be, hands down, chapter 4) but I like it well enough. 
> 
> So, um, just some housekeeping things Vic has feelings in this chapter, hardcore feelings, and they're mostly related to her adoption. I am not an adoptee or a birth parent, so I can't speak for these feelings being 100% accurate. I am, however, actively involved in the adoption communities on Facebook, tumblr, and Reddit, and real life, so this is not without research. That said, I don't intend to offend anyone with inaccurate descriptions. There is one scene in question that is unlikely to happen in real life, but I wanted it to happen anyway because of the role it plays in the plot. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm completely rambling, but uh, what's new? 
> 
> This chapter was brought to you by Doritos, no bake brownies balls, Warhead candy canes, and actively not studying for my Chem final on Tuesday. (It's fine; I'm fine.)
> 
> Trigger warnings: discussion of abortion

Vic arrived at the station early the next morning. She wanted to speak with Sullivan before shift started, away from prying eyes and suspicious teammates who would wonder why she was _willingly_ going into Sullivan’s office.

Warren, it seemed, had the same idea, and Vic caught him walking out of Sullivan’s office. 

“You headed in?” Warren asked, gesturing toward the office. 

Vic nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “I needed to talk to Sullivan before shift starts.” 

“Good luck,” Warren said. “Sullivan is in a weird mood.” 

“Great,” Vic said, pulling a face. Sullivan was _always_ in a weird mood. Either that, or in a bad mood. Sullivan had maybe three moods, and Vic was almost positive that she had never seen Sullivan happy. 

Warren shrugged and then turned and headed up the stairs.

Vic knocked on the door of the captain’s office. 

“Come in,” Sullivan called out. 

“Good morning, sir” Vic said. 

“Morning, Hughes,” Sullivan replied. “To what do I owe this impromptu meeting?” 

His voice wasn’t harsh, just stern and questioning, and Vic felt a bit of the confidence she had crumble. Sullivan was indeed in a weird mood. Something about being in Sullivan’s office made Vic feel like she was in the principal’s office being scolded, not that Vic had much, or any, experience with being in the principal's office. Sullivan just had that air about him. 

“I’m asking for extended medical leave,” Vic said. 

Sullivan stared at her. “For what?” He prodded, arching an eyebrow. 

“Right, right,” Vic said quickly, fumbling in her pocket for the doctor’s note that she had folded into eighths. She handed Sullivan the note.

She watched as Sullivan read it. Vic could see the exact moment he read about the pregnancy, because his face went from perplexed to understanding. (It was weird, Vic would later journal, to realize that Sullivan had emotions and facial expressions that weren’t just angry, stern, smirking, and RBF.) 

Sullivan looked up. “Congratulations,” he said, and his tone sounded genuine, which was good. Firefighters were unpredictable. Misogyny was ingrained within the mainly male force, and some male (and even female) firefighters reacted negatively to the idea of a pregnant person being given medical leave. “I’ll put you on desk duty and we’ll send the paperwork up to headquarters for your extended leave.” 

Vic’s breath hitched at the thought of headquarters. Of Ripley. Of him finding out before she was ready, but medical requests were rarely handled by the chief, and they were confidential, which meant that it would take pure coincidence for Ripley to find out about Vic’s pregnancy unless she told him. (And she was going to tell him, eventually, once she gathered the courage and figured things out.)

“Is everything okay?” Sullivan asked. His face was sympathetic and soft, which looked out of place on Sullivan.

And it was at that moment that Vic realized that she had been zoned out for several seconds, which wasn’t uncharacteristic of her but was still probably a little concerning for her boss. 

Vic gulped then nodded. “I’m good. I’m fine,” she said. 

“Were you wanting to address the team about this?” Sullivan asked. 

“Maybe later,” Vic answered. She wasn’t going to hide it from them. She worked with six other certified emergency medical technicians, they were bound to notice things, and pregnancy symptoms weren’t necessarily easy to hide. But Vic wanted to do something cute. Vic’s sister had sent her several adorable firefighter themed Pinterest announcements and Vic wanted to try one out. Vic wanted a cliche Pinterest worthy announcement before her entire life went to shit. 

“Alright,” Sullivan said. “Is there anything else you wanted to address?” He asked. His normal look (which was most definitely an RBF) had fallen back into place.

Vic shook her head. “No sir.” 

Sullivan nodded. “Let me know if anything changes. You’re dismissed, Hughes.” 

Vic nodded and scurried out the door. That had gone better than expected. 

-X- 

Vic had not been to her childhood home since Christmas. Her family lived forty-five minutes outside of Seattle, which meant Vic visited more often than her other siblings, but still less often than she wanted to. She called often, setting aside a time each week to speak with her parents. However, telling her mom about her pregnancy was something that Vic needed to do in person. In addition, Vic needed more information about her birth and the agency that had handled her adoption, and that was in the safe at home. 

She rang the doorbell, and the door swung open. A moment later her arms were full of her youngest brother. Despite being nine years younger than her, Zachary Hughes was already taller than her, at just under 6 feet.

“Hi,” he signed as they pulled apart. “I haven’t seen you in forever!” He pushed his dyed dark blue bangs out of his face. His naturally black hair was already showing at his roots. 

“You saw me at Christmas,” Vic signed back, stepping inside the house. She took a deep breath. It smelled like cookies, fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, in fact. 

“I know,” Zach responded, grinning. “It’s been a while.” His brown eyes twinkled with mirth.

“Vicky!” A voice shouted, and Vic turned her head to see her youngest sister wheeling toward her. Cassie was the youngest of the Hughes siblings, at fifteen years old, and she was also physically the smallest.

“Cassie!” Vic shouted back, and she crouched so that her fifteen year old sister could wrap her in a hug. 

“I haven’t seen you in forever,” Cassie said. 

“It’s literally only been one month,” Vic repeated, exasperated. Secretly, though, she shared their frustrations. Vic had missed her siblings. Sure, there was text and Snapchat, but nothing compared to getting hugs from her siblings.

“How are you guys?” Vic signed, because it was easier to communicate with the two of them at once. 

“Good,” Cassie answered. 

Zach shrugged, looking slightly secretive. 

Vic turned to face Zach, suddenly remembering the text conversation that she and Cassie had had a few days ago. “What’s this I hear about you and A-L-L-I-S-O-N F-U-L-L-E-R?” 

Zach cheeks burned bright red. “You told her?!” He signed to Cassie. 

Cassie grinned wickedly. “I didn’t tell her that much,” Cassie signed. “Just that you liked A-L-L-I-S-O-N.”

“Wait,” Vic signed. “Are you dating her?” 

Zach nodded, averting his eyes. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Cassie asked. 

Zach looked from Cassie to Vic and back to Cassie. He huffed. “Because this was gonna happen. I like…” Zach tapped his chest with an A handshape. “We’re new and we’re barely dating and I didn’t want to get in this.” 

“You gave her a name sign?” Cassie signed. “It must be getting serious.”

Zach’s blush deepened. Of all of Vic’s siblings, Zach got flustered the easiest, which was why it was the most fun to tease him. 

“Cute!” Vic signed. “My baby brother is all grown up. He has his first girlfriend.”

“You guys are awful,” Zach signed, frowning. “This is why I don’t tell people things!”

Vic smiled at her baby brother. “I’m just teasing, Z,” she signed. She rubbed Zach’s hair good naturedly. “I’m happy you like Allison.” 

“On a different note-” Cassie turned to Vic. “What are you doing here?”

Vic chuckled. “I need to talk to Mom.” 

“Why?” Zach asked. 

“I’ll tell you two later,” Vic signed. 

“Does it have to do with your boyfriend?” Cassie signed. 

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” Vic shot back. 

“Right,” Cassie signed, her face sarcastic. 

“Who told you that I had a boyfriend, which I don’t?” Vic demanded.

“Secret,” Cassie signed, tapping her chin with a fist. "I don't reveal my sources." 

Vic sighed. “Don’t you two have schoolwork or something?” She asked. 

“Mom gave us the day off,” Cassie signed gleefully. 

Vic snorted and rolled her eyes. It seemed, with each child, that Mom got more lax on their homeschooling. The kids all got a quality education, but Cassie and Zach got more days off than Vic or any of her older siblings ever did. 

“Where is Mom?” Vic asked. 

“Kitchen,” Zach replied. “She’s baking cookies.” 

“Thanks,” Vic signed. She turned to enter the kitchen and paused for a moment, staring at one of the photos on the wall. It was perhaps the photo that Vic was most familiar with: the first picture that Vic had ever had taken with her parents. She was two days old in the picture, and she was asleep, bundled in a hospital receiving blanket. Her parents looked thrilled, their eyes alight with happiness. 

Vic smiled at the photo. In a few months, that was going to be her, holding a newborn, and feeling the many emotions that came with being a parent of a newborn. The thought both terrified and exhilarated her.

Vic turned on her heel and headed into the kitchen. 

“Mom,” Vic called out. 

Rose Hughes was standing by the stove, using the cookie spoon to put raw cookie dough onto a baking sheet. 

“Vicky!” Her mom said, turning around. “You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

Vic approached her mom and wrapped her in a hug. No matter how old Vic got, nothing compared to being safe and loved in her mother’s arms. 

“How are you?” Mom asked as Vic pulled away, her tone soft and gentle. 

Vic sighed, and walked around the counter so that she could sit at the bar. 

“I’m good,” she answered finally. “What are you making cookies for?” Vic wasn’t sure if she was ready to tell her mom about her pregnancy. Her nerves were frazzled from finding out a week before and then having to tell her boss. 

“It’s Annabelle Logan’s baby shower,” Mom answered. “It’s today, and I completely forgot I agreed to bring cookies. Can you believe it, Annie Logan’s having a baby? It seems like just yesterday the two of you were in co-op together, and now she’s having a baby. It still seems like she’s a baby herself,” Mom finished wistfully. 

Vic frowned and her throat tightened. She nibbled on the corner of her lip to keep herself from dissolving into tears. It was mostly the hormones, but she couldn’t help it and her eyes started to well up.

Mom stared at her, her features softening into empathy. “What’s wrong?” Mom asked. 

Vic stared at the marble countertops, willing herself to respond. Her mom was not going to judge her; Vic knew this, and yet, telling her mom the truth felt impossibly difficult. She pressed a hand to her belly and tried to force the words form her throat. She couldn't speak.

“Vicky,” her mom said softly. “Are you pregnant?” 

Vic nodded. 

Mom wiped her hands on a towel and walked around the counter. “Victoria,” her mom cooed, wrapping her arms around Vic. 

Vic acquiesced, and she felt herself truly relax for the first time since she found out that she was pregnant. Vic didn’t have to say a word. Her mom rubbed soft, soothing circles on her back, and Vic could breathe easier.

“It’s okay,” Mom said. 

Vic cried again for what was the sixth time in a week. (Frankly, Vic was getting sick of pregnancy hormones.) Her mom didn't say anything, just gently rubbed Vic's back as Vic sobbed. They stayed like that for several minutes, until Vic was able to calm her nerves and take a deep breath. “I’m getting your shirt wet,” Vic said because she was, indeed, soaking her mom’s shirt with her tears. 

“I can change,” Mom said. 

Vic nodded, and then she pulled away, wiping calmly at her eyes. “Sorry,” she said. 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Mom said. “You just shared some life changing news. That’s a lot for anyone to process.” Mom settled onto the barstool next to Vic. “How far along are you?” 

“Nine weeks,” Vic answered. 

“Are you keeping the pregnancy?” Mom asked, because Mom was blunt like that. 

Vic nodded. Then, intertwined her hands together and looked down. “There’s more,” Vic said, lowering the tone of her voice. “The father of my baby is the chief of the fire department.” 

Mom looked at her quizzically but not judgmentally. Her face was soft and gentle but prying. 

“It was consensual,” Vic clarified quickly because her parent's lawyer was on speed dial. “He’s just... he's my boss’s boss’s boss and I’m me and it’s… I don’t… It’s just… messy,” Vic finished lamely, wringing her hands together. 

“Have you told him yet?” Mom asked. 

Vic shook her head. 

“You should tell him soon,” Mom said. “The longer you wait, the more difficult it’s going to be. You’ll let the nerves get the best of you and then you’ll cook up all kinds of imaginary scenarios that are so much worse than what will actually happen.” 

“I know,” Vic said. “I’ll tell him soon. I need his medical history anyway. And I need mine too.” 

“They didn’t give us very much information,” Mom said. “I can give you the name of the social worker who handled your adoption. She’s still living in Seattle as far as I know. California has stricter laws regarding your original birth certificate, but I believe you’re entitled to non-identifying medical records. I’ll go grab everything from the safe.” Mom stood. 

“Thanks,” Vic said softly. 

Mom smiled at her and turned to walk away. “Oh,” she said suddenly. “Vicky?”

“Yes,” Vic answered. 

“You can do hard things,” Mom replied. 

Vic grinned. ‘You can do hard things,’ had been the soundtrack of her childhood. It was what her mom said when she cried about her math homework or when she was nervous about an audition. It was what her mom texted her everyday that she was in the fire academy. It was what Vic and her siblings texted to each other on mornings with one of them had a tough final or a presentation or a meeting. 

Vic breathed in deeply and then exhaled. She could do hard things. 

-X-

A week later, after her shift ended, Vic found herself at an office downtown, half a mile from Seattle Fire Department Headquarters. She could go to HQ, ask to talk to Ripley, and pray that she didn’t have a breakdown. But she had something else important she needed to do. 

She entered the office building and was immediately greeted by the warm air. 

“Good morning,” the secretary said. 

“Good morning,” Vic replied. 

“What can I help you with?” She asked. 

“My name is Victoria Hughes,” Vic said. “I called a few days ago about speaking with Madison Richards regarding my adoption records.” 

“Of course!” The secretary said. “Madison will be with you in just a moment. I’ll let her know that you’re here.” 

Vic sat down in a chair in the waiting room. She pulled out her phone and stared at it, clicking on her messages app. Ripley had last called her four days ago, and Vic had ignored it. He texted the following day, asking if she was okay, and Vic didn’t reply. She knew that it was wrong, to ghost him like that, but the idea of confronting him with the news of her pregnancy was absolutely terrifying. And Ripley wasn’t going to push, as evidenced by the fact that he hadn’t continued to text her after she didn’t reply. Perhaps he didn’t want a harassment lawsuit on his hands, or maybe he wanted to give Vic space. Whatever the reason, he had stopped trying to contact Vic, and it was simultaneously relieving and nerve wracking.

“Victoria Hughes,” a woman called out, jolting Vic from her thoughts. 

Vic looked up and saw a woman standing there. She was tall, and her blonde hair was pulled into a bun. 

“Hi,” Vic said as she stood.

“Hello,” the woman replied. “I’m Madison. I’m the social worker that handled you and your brother’s adoptions. Come with me to my office and we can discuss records.”

Vic smiled and followed the woman. She was going to see her file, and she was going to, if nothing else, learn about her health history and the circumstances behind her adoption. The thought was both terrifying and exciting. 

Vic had never felt the need to know anything about the circumstances of her adoption before finding out that she was going to have a baby of her own. Her hand unconsciously traveled to her stomach, and Vic, not for the first time, wondered how her birth mom had felt at this point in her pregnancy. 

They arrived at a small office. 

On the desk was a thick Manila folder. 

Vic sat down and Madison sat behind her desk.

“Your situation is a little bit more complicated than most of the adoptions I handle. I usually work with Washington State, but I have done some work with interstate adoptions, like yours. You were born in California and that means that if you want to see your Original Birth Certificate, you will have to petition the court. However, your birth mother did fill out a health history, and we do have paperwork and a timeline regarding your relinquishment. This is called non-identifying information, which will give you some insight to your birth mom's background and health history without any information that can identify her. I’ll give you some time to look through your folder, and then we can make digital copies of whatever you want or need.” 

Vic touched the folder. “So, this is it?” She asked. It felt so odd. This manilla folder held the key to her birth and adoption.

Madison nodded. “If you’d like, we can mark your file so that if your birth mother contacts the agency looking for you, we will forward the information to you so that you can initiate contact.”

“She hasn’t contacted you yet?” Vic asked, her voice unsteady. Vic was unsure if she even wanted to initiate contact, but the idea of her birth mother not reaching out still stung somehow. 

Madison shook her head. “It could be for any number of reasons,” she said. “Sometimes paperwork is lost on their end. My office has moved twice in the last twenty-five years, which is another factor. Sometimes birth parents don’t want to disturb their child’s life. And sometimes people aren’t ready for contact.” 

Vic felt a lump in her throat, and she knew it was a moment in time before her eyes started to water. It was the mix of hormones and emotional exhaustion catching up to her. Crying at her mom’s house had felt good, but there was still so much that she had to process. 

“It’s not a reflection of you,” Madison said sympathetically. “It’s a very complicated and emotional process.” 

“I know,” Vic said, wiping her eyes. “It’s just… a lot.” 

Vic stared at the folder. 

“I’ll give you a moment of privacy to look through your paperwork,” Madison said. “I’ll be at the front desk, so if you need anything, let me know. If not, tell me when you’re ready to make copies.” Madison left the room.

Vic opened the file and glanced at the first page. 

“ **Relinquishment Timeline:**

 **March 2nd, 1992:** Birth mother reached out to agency. She is 34 weeks pregnant with a mixed race child, half African-American and half Caucasian. Birth mom is considering adoption due to a variety of factors. Birth mom is a second year law student at a university in California. She is considering relinquishing as a result of a poor financial situation and a 

**March 23rd, 1992:** Birth Mom has been matched with Matthew and Rose Hughes, a Caucasian couple living in Bellevue, Washington. They have one older, biological child. Birth Mom has met with the Hughes on one occasion and seems content with her choice.

 **March 24th, 1992:** \- Birth Mom has identified her child’s Putative Father as a professor at her university. Birth Mom has stated that Putative Father has suggested abortion and not wish to be apart of the adoption process

Note: Per agency policy, an attempt at contact with Putative Father must be initiated.

 **March 27th, 1992:** \- Agency reached out to Putative Father via letter. 

**April 12th, 1992:** \- Putative Father returns letter stating the following: 

_To whom it may concern,_

_I did not and have not had a sexual relationship with Ms. [Name Redacted]. As such, I am not the biological or legal father of her fetus. Therefore, I cannot legally sign away rights to a child that is not mine._

_Any further contact should be done through my lawyer [Name Redacted]. You can contact him at [Number Redacted]._

_Regards,  
[Name Redacted]_”

If Vic hadn’t been crying earlier, she certainly was crying now. She bit her lip so hard that she tasted blood. Her mom had sex with her professor, her superior. And it hadn’t ended well. In fact he had suggested termination and then denied paternity when she didn't. 

Vic kept reading. 

**April 27th, 1992:** \- Birth mom is admitted to [Hospital Name Redacted]. Adoptive parents are contacted.

 **April 28th, 1992:** \- Baby Girl is born. 

**May 2nd, 1992:** \- Mom relinquishes Baby Girl and terminates parental rights. 

**May 26th, 1992:** \- Mom writes to notify of address change and moves out of state to attend a different law school.

Additional Notes-  
**June 29th, 1996:** \- Birth Mom contacts agency with news of second pregnancy and subsequent adoption plan. She requests for placement with same family. 

**August 26th, 1996:** \- Baby Boy is born and placed with his biological half sister’s adoptive family. 

Vic could hardly breathe. She had no doubt, not one, that her biological father had everything to with her mom’s sudden decision to transfer law schools. She knew from talking with Jace, her brother that was currently in law school, that it was extremely difficult to transfer law schools during second year, and most schools require students to repeat their second year, a process that would had to have been irritating and expensive. 

Vic’s heart sank.

She knew, logically, that she and her birth mother were in two very different situations, but the similarities were striking, and Vic’s mind whirred with the endless amount of negative outcomes. Ripley could deny paternity, and while Vic have him take a paternity test once the baby was born, the process was bound to be both stressful and embarrassing. 

Worse case scenario, Vic could lose her job. She wouldn’t be outright fired, just like her birth mom’s professor couldn’t have had her expelled. But news of Vic and Ripley’s relationship would spread like wildfire, and the fire would only be fueled if it became clear that Ripley wasn’t happy about the situation.

(Vic had heard about one of the new female firefighters at Station 23 going through something similar. She had worked in Oregon prior to moving to Seattle, and rumor had it that she had been forced out by sexist colleagues who sided with the father of her child and not her. And in that case, both of them had been ranked equally. There was no telling how much worse it would be given the power imbalance between Ripley and Vic.)

Ripley deserved to know, and Vic was not going to begrudge him of that, but she had a lot to think about. 

Maybe it was best to hold off on telling Ripley, at least until Vic had a plan in place to cope with the possibility of everything falling apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did y'all think? 
> 
> Yeah... Vic will tell Ripley, eventually, but right now she's got to process her ow emotions and figure out what she's going to do if her worst fear comes to life. It's pretty well established in canon that Vic has a little bit of anxiety issues (see: teapot song to calm down and also fear of fire), so I wanted to explore that. And it just happened to manifest itself as this. It will resolve itself (eventualy, muahahaha) 
> 
> Please wish me luck on my finals so that I don't dissolve into a puddle of tears. 
> 
> Next chapter will be up Friday! (Unless I fail Chem and am too depressed to edit.)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright y'all. A few things: 
> 
> 1\. I PASSED CHEM! Cs get degrees and I am happy to say that I don't have to retake chem (praise the lord, amen). Did my chem teacher bump my grade six points to give me the C? Maybe... Do I care? No.
> 
> 2\. I actually like this chapter, although it was a pain in the ass to both finish and edit. I liked writing it and I hope y'all enjoy reading it. 
> 
> 3\. I'm home for Christmas break for the next month which gives me plenty of time to chill in my pjs, eat way too much ice cream, watch Station 19 with my mom, and work on this fic. 
> 
> 4\. This chapter was brought to you by raspberry sorbetto, the baby I was babysitting going to sleep at 1am, forgetting my ADHD meds at school, and not having moved from this spot on the couch (except for food) in 18 hours.

**Vicky** : Half of you guys already know but for the three of you that don’t know: you’re going to be the aunt and uncles of two pretty soon. 

**Santiago** : Wait, what??? 

**Jace** : HOLY SHIT! Congrats! 

**Hannah** : Congrats, sis! When are you due? 

**Vicky** : August 9th 

**Santiago** : Congrats!

 **Cassie** : This is the type of quality content I like to see in the group chat

 **Zach** : I mean, I already knew but congrats! 

**Gabby** : Same. But I’m excited for you and Nina is thrilled about having a cousin. 

**Cassie** : Probably just because she wants someone to boss around. I wonder where Nina gets that from... 

**Gabby** : It’s a mystery….. Her dad probably.

 **Santiago** : Speaking of dads… 

**Jace** : Who do we need to murder? 

**Hannah** :^^

 **Santiago** : ^^

 **Gabby** : ^^

 **Cassie** : ^^

 **Zach** : ^^

-X- 

Vic meant to tell Ripley. She really, truly did, but she couldn’t bring herself to. It was the mix of anxiety about the situation in general and her fear about history repeating itself. She didn't want to go through the same situation that her birth mom had to deal with. Vic was well aware that she was projecting her birth mom's situation onto herself and Ripley, and Vic also knew that the longer she waited to tell him, the worse that it was going to be. But every time Vic tried to gather the courage to tell him, her anxiety bubbled up and made it impossible for her to breathe. 

So, Vic ignored Ripley. she had effectively ghosted him. She dodged his calls and didn’t respond to his texts. She didn’t read them, didn’t even open them. 

She kept putting it off, and Ripley stopped calling and texting, probably to avoid her feeling like she was being pressured. 

Ripley didn’t come by Station 19, which was good, because it made it far easier to avoid Ripley. 

Vic kept telling herself that she would tell Ripley in a week. But one week turned into two and two turned into three and Vic found herself at her next OB-GYN appointment alone instead of with Ripley. Not that Vic even knew if Ripley would’ve been willing to come. The point was that he hadn’t even been given the opportunity to say yes or no. 

“Good morning,” Dr. Deluca said, and Vic smiled. 

“Do you have your medical history paperwork?” Dr. Deluca asked. 

Vic pulled the paperwork out of her backpack. “The agency had access to medical records,” Vic explained. “I was able to fill out my portion of the medical history.” 

“And what about the other parent’s?” Dr. Deluca pressed gently. 

Vic frowned. “I didn’t. I haven’t…” she trailed off, feeling embarrassed. She really had no good reason not to tell Ripley, nothing except anxiousness and fear. 

“That’s alright,” Dr. Deluca said. “Your health history is important as well. We don’t need the other parent’s as much as we need yours. It's good to have, but what’s more important is knowing your history and your family’s experience with pregnancy. This lets us watch for potential complications for you or the baby. Take a deep breath, okay?” 

Vic breathed deeply. “I’m sorry. It’s just…” Vic could feel tears pooling in her eyes. She rarely cried, and now she cried more than ever. Stupid fucking hormones. 

“It’s okay, really,” Dr. Deluca said gently. 

Vic nodded, and then wiped furiously at her eyes. 

“Let’s check on that baby, okay,” Dr. Deluca said, changing the subject. “Lie down and lift up your shirt. I'm going to check your baby’s heartbeat using the Doppler.”

Vic followed the instructions. 

“The gel is cold,” Dr. Deluca warned. 

The gel was, indeed, cold, but the stunning cold brought Vic back to reality. She was in a doctor's office getting a check up for her baby, Bean, and that was the most important thing right now. 

Dr. Deluca smeared the gel across Vic's stomach and then took the Doppler and moved it across Vic’s belly. It took a moment, but then the whooshing sound filled the room. 

Vic sat there, staring at the ceiling and listening to Bean’s heartbeat. That was her baby in there. 

Dr. Deluca held the Doppler on Vic’s belly for a moment, allowing Vic to relish in the sound. 

“One hundred forty beats per minute,” she said. “You’ve got yourself a very healthy sounding fetus.”

Vic breathed a sigh of relief. 

“You indicated that you don’t want genetic testing until or unless something is suspected to be wrong, correct?” Dr. Deluca asked, wiping the gel off of Vic’s stomach. 

Vic nodded. 

“I will review your medical history and charts and see if there’s anything we need to be wary of. Your blood pressure, temperature, and heart rate are looking good. And you’re off duty at work, correct?” 

“Yes ma’am,” Vic said, lowering her shirt. “I’ve been answering phone calls and assisting the Fire Marshall with inspections and fire prevention. And I’m enrolled in the joint pregnancy physical training for SPD and SFD to keep up with physical fitness.” 

“That’s good,” Dr. Deluca said. “Everything looks great. Your baby has a healthy heart rate, so I’ll see you in about four weeks. We’ll be able to do an ultrasound to determine the baby’s sex, and we’ll also check for any medical abnormalities or concerns. Always call if you experience any spotting, cramping, or bleeding.” 

Vic smiled. 

Bean was okay.

Bean was thriving in their environment. 

If only Vic could say the same for herself. 

-X-

Travis’s plopped into one of the rolling chairs next to Vic. “So,” he said. 

“Yes?” Vic responded. Vic knew what he was going to ask about. It wasn't the first time someone had come to the desk, trying to be nonchalant, asking Vic why she had been on desk duty for more than a month. Vic had always mentioned a vague and nonspecific injury, but her team was starting to get suspicious. 

“When are you going to tell everyone about what you did to Sullivan to end up on desk duty for almost a month?” Travis asked. His tone fell somewhere between teasing and serious. “No one wants to ask, but everyone is dying to know what exactly happened and why you’re on desk duty. We kinda assumed an injury, but it’s been a while now.”

“I’m not on punishment,” Vic said with a slight chuckle. Although she had to wonder, is that why the team thought she was on desk duty? Because of discipline? “And it’s not an injury, I mean, not really.” 

Travis’s face fell. “Oh my god.” He lowered his voice. “Are you sick? Is it PTSD?” 

(The team had been on high alert since Gibson had come clean to the team about his struggles with PTSD after the skyscraper fire. Their concern helped, but sometimes Vic felt smothered by their questions or meddling. Gibson was in the process of getting help, and it looked more and more like he too would need extended medical leave, but with Sullivan and Andy on medical light duty after their accident, Gibson leaving for any period of time would leave them short staffed, leading to her teammates being concerned about anyone experiencing further health concerns. They really needed an interim transfer from another station to cover the gap so that Gibson could have time to properly cover, but the paperwork for that was slow going.)

Vic sighed. It was probably time she told her team about her pregnancy. She had recently finished her first trimester, and that meant it was safe, or safer, to tell people. 

“I’m fine,” Vic said, giving Travis a reassuring smile. “I’ll explain everything next shift.” 

Travis opened his mouth to respond. 

Before he could say a word however, the klaxon sounded. 

“Ladder 19, Aid Car 19, Engine 19, please respond. Structure fire: 2401 2nd Ave.” 

“I’ve got to go,” Travis said, pointing at the door. 

“Then go,” Vic said, giving him a soft shove. “Seriously, I’ll tell you next shift.” 

Travis smiled sympathetically at her and then headed out. 

Vic needed to tell her team before they assumed the worst. 

-X-

Vic’s siblings had pestered her with ideas about how to announce her pregnancy to her team and also to her friends and family on Facebook. Most of them were cliche: like a quote about unplanned trips having the best destination. Some of them were funny: like a wine glass with a sign that said, ‘Do not refill until August 2019.’ And others were entirely inappropriate like a onesie that read: “Kinda looks like Netflix and Chill went a little bit too far.”

It was Hannah who found a unique idea on Pinterest and texted it to Vic. 

It was the perfect way to announce her pregnancy to the team. 

Vic took a photo of Bean, framed it and wrote. “New Recruit: Probie Hughes. Training begins August 2019.” She put a magnet on the back of the frame and stuck it on the team’s fridge. 

Miller entered the kitchen first. He opened the fridge, grabbed the gallon of orange juice, and shut the fridge door. He stared at the photo for a long moment. 

“Congratulations, Hughes!” he said. 

Vic beamed at him. 

“What’s the congratulations for?” Gibson asked as he and Warren walked unto the kitchen. 

“Hughes is pregnant,” Miller announced, gesturing to her announcement on the fridge. 

Warren turned to face Vic. “Congratulations!” he said. 

Gibson eyed her for a long moment, his eyes asking the question that he thankfully wasn’t going to ask in front of the team. 

Vic smiled at him, daring him to say something. 

“Congratulations!” Gibson finally said, his face relaxing. His voice sounded genuine, if a bit strained. 

Travis entered the kitchen, Andy and Maya on his heels. 

Miller settled on to a spot in the table. 

“What’s going on?” Andy asked. 

Gibson gestured to the picture on the refrigerator. 

“You’re pregnant?!”Maya yelled.

“Could you say that a little louder?” Vic said with a smirk. “I don’t think they heard you at Grey Sloan.”

“Congrats, Vic,” Travis said as he sat down, offering Vic a smile. 

Vic grinned back at him.

“Congratulations,” Andy said, sitting down next to Travis. 

“Congrats, Hughes,” Maya said, settling at the table and swiping a crescent roll. “Who’s the daddy?” 

“Bishop!” Andy admonished as she sat down. 

Maya shrugged. “I’m just curious.”

“That’s not important,” Vic said. 

“Is he a douchebag?” Miller asked. “Because I won’t hesitate to kick his ass.”

Vic huffed. 

“Just leave it,” Gibson said. “Maybe Hughes doesn’t want to talk about her baby’s father, and we should respect her privacy.” 

The entire table turned to Gibson, their eyes narrowing. 

“Are you…?” Andy trailed off. 

Vic made a face. “No!” She said. “That’s gross. Gibson is like my brother or something. Ew!” She mock gagged. “Ew! Ew!”

“I’m a little offended, Hughes,” Gibson said with a laugh. 

The tension at the table eased, and Vic could breathe easy again. 

“Is it another firefighter?” Maya pressed after a beat of silence. “Is it Man Blanket from Station 23?” 

Vic shoved a crescent roll in her mouth and chewed slowly that she didn't have to respond. 

“Oh, come on,” Miller teased lightly. “You’re terrible at keeping secrets. You can’t keep something like this a secret.” 

Vic smiled. “I can, and I will.”

“Guys,” Warren said. “Being a parent is hard enough as is, without your teammates pestering you about your baby’s father. We should support Vic and if and when she wants to tell us, she will.”

“Exactly,” Andy agreed. “Vic clearly doesn’t want to talk about it, and we don’t need to know every detail of each other’s sex lives.” Andy’s tone was firm and it didn’t leave any room for protest. 

The table collectively sighed, but everyone returned to eating. 

Vic swallowed her crescent roll. “ _Thank you,_ ” Vic mouthed to Andy, because there was no way that she was ready to tell the team about Ripley, and she would have, eventually, caved to the pressure and told the truth, and there was no telling how she would recover from the aftermath of that. 

Andy simply smiled at Vic and then stabbed her pear with a fork, leaving Vic to wallow in her thoughts and prepare for the inevitable confrontation with Gibson. 

-X-

Vic was not surprised, clearly, when Gibson cornered her while she was walking out of the bathroom. 

“Hey, Vic, I wanted to uh, talk,” he said, and he was failing miserably at his attempt to be nonchalant. 

“I don’t,” Vic said, rolling her eyes. 

“C’mon,” Gibson said. His tone was surprisingly soft. “I just want to help.”

Vic sighed, because Gibson wasn’t going to let something like this go, and the last thing Vic needed was for people to overhear the conversation. 

“Fine,” Vic huffed. “But not in here.” 

She and Gibson entered the turnout room.

(Vic would later journal that this was an incredibly ironic turn of events.) 

“Are you okay?” Gibson asked. 

“That’s really why you wanted to drag me in here?” Vic asked skeptically. “To see if I was okay?” 

“It’s not that, it’s,” Gibson lowered his voice. “Is he…” Vic watched as Gibson tried to phrase the question. “Is Ripley the father?” 

Vic inhaled slowly. She had prepared for this question, but beyond her sister and mom, she hadn’t actually told anyone the truth. 

“I guess your non-answer is an answer,” Gibson said sharply. 

Vic stared at the floor, suddenly interested in one of the stains on the tile. 

“If he’s being an ass about this, you can tell HR, you know,” Gibson continued. “I don’t like having to keep this secret for you, especially given the circumstances.” 

Vic knew that she could call HR if Ripley did end up reacting negatively, but Vic hadn't given Ripley a chance to react at all. “It’s fine,” Vic said. “I’m fine. I’ve got this.” 

“Look, Hughes- Vic,” Gibson said. “I’m just saying that it’s not fair of him to be able to do this and ruin your career and-”

“You don’t get it,” Vic cut him off. “It’s so much more complicated that just my career. I’m having a kid in a few months, and my focus is on that right now.” 

“But you shouldn’t have to do this alone,” Gibson said. “He doesn’t deserve to just be able to walk away from this.”

“Just leave it,” Vic cut him off, her agitation rising. "You don't have the whole story, and I don't want to go to HR with this." 

“You don’t have to go to HR by yourself,” Gibson said. “I can go with you and help and file a report and just-” 

“I said leave it!” Vic yelled, the volume of her voice surprising even herself. “I don’t need your help. You’ve got enough on your plate as is.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Vic regretted them. 

Gibson seemed to deflate a little bit, his mouth gulping like a fish.

“Gibso- Jack,” Vic said softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I just-” 

“No, you’re right,” Gibson cut her off, his voice hard. “I’ve got enough to deal with and this is none of my business. I’m sorry.” 

Gibson turned to leave. 

“I’m sorry, Jack,” Vic repeated. “I really didn’t mean it like that.” 

“It’s fine,” Gibson replied, his hand on the doorknob. He turned to face Vic, his face soft. “I’ll let you get to work and stuff. Just let me know if you need anything.” 

Vic swallowed and sat down on one of the benches, willing herself not to cry in the middle of turnout room at work. 

The tears came anyway, and Vic wiped at her eyes. 

This was a lot: Bean, Ripley, her uncertain future at Seattle Fire Department, and now Gibson. 

Vic’s problems felt as large and out of control as the skyscraper fire, and Vic felt like she had only been given a bucket of water to contain the flame. 

-X-

_February 16, 2019_

_I need to tell Ripley that I’m pregnant, and I need to do it now._

_I’ve backed out of it several times. I’ve thought about texting or calling or arranging a meeting so that I can tell him in person. And yet, I can’t._

_I don’t even know why I’m so anxious about this. I’m not even giving him a chance. He at least deserves the benefit of the doubt._

_Ripley is a good man, an honorable one. You don’t climb the ranks of firefighters without compassion and kindness. Yes, he’s harsh and firm when need be, but I’ve seen the other side of him. He’s soft, too._

_I’ve been really unfair to Ripley as of late. I ghosted him and gave him no reason as to why I didn’t respond. And now, I’m hiding this from him. I need to tell him, as soon as possible. He deserves to know and I should have told him before I told anyone else, certainly before I told my team._

_This situation just got exponentially more complicated because Gibson knows. And right now Gibson is a wildcard. I’m nervous he’s going to let something slip, and honestly it’s unfair of me to ask him to keep a secret this big. Not to mention what I ended up saying to him was absolutely cruel and insensitive, especially given my own struggles with PTSD._

_I think that the stress of all of this is getting me, which leads me back to the first point: I need to tell Ripley and I need to tell him now._

_During shift tomorrow, I’m going to call Ripley and arrange to meet with him so that I can tell him everything._

-X- 

Lucas Ripley hated paperwork, which was unfortunate because pushing paperwork was around 75% of being chief. It wasn’t that he hated his job, it was that he felt that the majority of paperwork was tedious and long winded and there were ways to be concise that didn’t involve signing 30 papers that meant the exact same thing. 

Lucas checked his inbox; he was almost finished with paperwork for the day, but he had two last emails that were marked urgent to review. 

The first email referenced an incident amongst the lieutenant and captain at Station 23. Apparently, the lieutenant had gone against captain’s orders and had endangered two victims and a fellow firefighter. The three individuals made it out alive, but the lieutenant in question was being suspended for 3 shifts, and Lucas needed to sign off on it. 

Lucas sighed, printed the paperwork, and scribbled his signature on the dotted line. Dealing with Station 23 was like dealing with a group of rowdy toddlers being captained by a middle schooler. They had once been a solid station, one of the best in the county, but years of being captained by Lewis, a man on a power trip, had made Station 23 one of the worst stations to be in. Their newer captain, James, was green and slightly immature, and it reflected in the amount of incident reports, the slowed response time, and spike in suspensions and even terminations. 

Station 23 needed their leadership to be rebuilt from the ground up, which was why Lucas found it best to stick Bishop at Station 23. Bishop would help shape the lower ranked firefighters, and Captain James could use a lieutenant that actually behaved and listened to his commands. 

Lucas placed the paperwork back into the scanner and emailed it off. 

He opened the second email. 

It was a retention request and a transferee request from Station 19. 

Lucas furrowed his brows and clicked on the email. 

**Request** : This forms serves as a request for the retention of Lieutenant Maya Bishop and an interim transfer of an additional firefighter to Station.

 **Circumstance** : Currently, a firefighter is on extended medical leave, station captain are on extended light duty, and the other lieutenant has requested temporary leave under the Family Medical Leave Act. As such, Station 19 would be short staffed during that time period, and additional staff is needed to ensure continued care, cooperation, and retention of response times.

Signed,  
Captain Robert Sullivan

So Station 19 was having problems. Given that 19 was easily the busiest station in the county, being short staffed could lead to some serious issues. 

Lucas sighed. He had been avoiding Station 19 ever since Hughes had stopped responding to his calls. It wasn’t him trying to be immature. He was the chief, and he didn’t want to pressure Hughes into a relationship that she didn’t want to be in. 

What Lucas didn’t understand, however, was why Hughes had stopped responding. There never seemed to be a catalyst to it. She had simply, as Lucas’s 16 year old niece would say, ‘ghosted’ him. 

Lucas printed the paper. He could sign it and then head to Station 19 tomorrow morning to get to the root of the problem. He needed to ensure that a-shift was still functional and simultaneously figure out why they had both lieutenants out. Lucas had assumed that if anyone was going to take leave under FMLA, it was going to be Herrera, given the situation with her father, but if it was Gibson, then Lucas needed to figure out why and how long Gibson needed to be out. 

He also needed to figure out which team member was on extended medical leave. The personality and skillset of that team member would definitely influence who Lucas selected to be an interim transfer. Some people worked better with others, and Lucas needed 19 to run as smoothly as possible, especially with the mayor breathing down his neck and looking to cut corners by reducing city funding based on response time. Station 19 brought the median response time down, and any uptick in response time would require more paperwork than Lucas ever really wanted to do. 

The thought of going back to Station 19, particularly of seeing Hughes, was absolutely nerve-wracking, but Lucas was an adult, and there were things more important than an inexplicably failed relationship.

Lucas grabbed his pen and signed the paper, scribbling his name with a vigor that shocked even himself. The paper tore from the pressure, and Lucas sighed, bawled up the paper, and tossed it into the trash can.

Perhaps visiting Station 19 was going to be a little more stressful than he had originally anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... things are about to IMPLODE... 
> 
> Also, did y'all see that Station 19 isn't coming back until MARCH 7??? MARCH!!! MaRcH!!!! I'm not happy about this, not at all. But I love this awesome community so I'm hoping for some fics to tide me over until we get to MARCH.
> 
> Anyway, loved this chapter? Hated it? Comments are honestly better than sex. 
> 
> (PS: Please hit me up on tumblr @cyrus-breeze if you want to talk about Station 19. I'm literally _obsessed_ with this show and would love to chat with anyone about storylines and stuff.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all, I’m just gonna rant for a minute. If you don’t wanna read it. You can either skip to the bolder part of this note where I put housekeeping. Or you can skip straight to the story. 
> 
> I am not on the struggle bus. I have been hit by the struggle bus. I’ve been up since 4:30 this morning. (I’ve had 5 hours of sleep in the last 36 hours.) I worked from 0700-1700 with no break. (My mom’s my boss, so it’s not like I’m gonna report that or anything). I had to deal with a bunch of whiny, screaming toddlers. I had a kid who was tired all day and was grumpy and upset. Did he sleep during nap time? Nope! He cried for like two hours while lying on his cot because he was _tired_. Y’all: I love kids but I hate them. 
> 
> Then I had to babysit and I took two kids to Chuck E. Cheese’s by myself (0/10. Would not recommend). 
> 
> I got home and still had to watch two kids so I just plopped them in front of TV and let them watch 6 episodes of this really bad kids TV show. I am DONE with today. 
> 
> I’m literally so tired I could sleep for ten years probably.
> 
>  **Housekeeping** : 
> 
> This chapter was written and edited in the last 48 hours. Chapter 4 was originally the first chapter I wrote, but then I did some things and had to completely rewrite it. 
> 
> I also had to restructure it so while it’s at just over 3k, it still doesn’t have everything I want in it. 
> 
> Like is hard. I gave this a really quick once over, so uh, if anything is confusing or like misspelled, please tell me. 
> 
> I had so much fun writing this chapter (barring the above circumstances). 
> 
> Shoutout to my friends who helped me and were a sounding board yesterday. They really helped me flesh this out.

Lucas Ripley entered Station 19 and climbed the stairs. It was early, during breakfast, so the team would most likely be upstairs. 

He entered the kitchen where Gibson was standing there, cutting an orange.

“Good morning Gibson,” Lucas said. 

Gibson looked up at him and stared. He blinked. “Morning Chief,” he replied. There was an undercurrent in the tone of Gibson’s voice, but Lucas couldn’t place it. 

“Is Sullivan around?” Lucas asked. 

Gibson grunted, then he nodded. “We had an early morning call, and Sullivan is changing. He’s in the turnout room.” Gibson’s tone was short and clipped. 

“Is everything okay?” Lucas asked. He wondered if it was Lt. Gibson who needed to take FMLA. 

“I’m doing fine, sir,” Gibson said. His tone was borderline passive-agressive in a way that Lucas had never heard from the lieutenant. “How about yourself?” Even then, Gibson’s tone dripped with sarcasm. 

“I’m… good?” Lucas answered, unsure of how Gibson wanted him to respond. 

“Of course," Gibson uttered under his breath.

"Excuse me?" Lucas responded. He was absolutely perplexed by Gibson's behavior. Gibson was impulsive, rash, and unexplainable, but he had never been outright disrespectful. 

"What are you doing here?" Gibson demanded. He sliced the orange with a little too much force, spraying droplets of orange juice across the counter.

Then, it clicked. 

"Gibson," Lucas said softly. It seemed clear that it was Gibson who was taking FMLA. Lucas knew that PTSD manifested itself in a variety of ways, and it seemed that anger was one of Gibson's outlets. "Gibson," Lucas continued. "Perhaps you should take a quick break."

Lucas was completely focused on Gibson's face and not the rest of his body. If Lucas had been focused on on Gibson's body, he would've noticed that Gibson had dropped the knife. He also would've noticed that Gibson's fingers into a fist, and with his boxer's brain, he probably would've been able to dodge Gibson's fist before it was directly in front of him. 

If Lucas had been paying attention, he most likely would not be doubled over in pain, clutching his eye.

"Fuck!" Lucas shouted through the pain.

"What the hell?" Bishop shouted, slamming the door of the turnout room. Herrera was hot on her heels.

"Gibson!" Herrera demanded. "What were you thinking?"

Herrera and Bishop pressed Gibson against the wall of the kitchen, effectively restraining him.

Lucas stood, clutching the countertop to cope with the pain. Why had Gibson punched him? Was it because of the skyscraper? Or was it something else? 

Did Gibson know about Lucas and Hughes, and if he did, why hadn't Gibson reported it to HR? It was over, and Lucas had given Hughes space, but that didn't make their relationship any more appropriate.

"What the hell just happened?" Sullivan demanded as he entered the kitchen.

"Gibson punched Chief Ripley, sir," Bishop responded.

Herrera and Bishop released Gibson, but the fight had left him.

"Gibson!" Sullivan said firmly. "You're dismissed for today. I will contact you later regarding your punishment."

Gibson huffed, and then he gave Lucas a scathing look as he walked into the locker room to grab his belongings.

"What happened?" Sullivan asked.

"I don't know," Lucas said with a shrug. "I asked him how things were going, he seemed upset, and then Gibson punched me.”

Sullivan frowned then turned to Herrera and Bishop. "Do you know what happened?" He asked.

Bishop shook her head. "No, sir," she replied . "We walked out and saw Gibson punching the Chief."

"I'll address this with him later," Sullivan said with a resigned sigh. "Chief, I apologize for Gibson's actions. I will see to it that he is punished appropriately. We should probably get something on your eye; I have a first aid kit with an instant ice pack in my office. We can talk in there."

Lucas nodded and more pain threaded itself through his eye. His eye was definitely going to bruise. Gibson had a solid right hook. 

He followed Sullivan downstairs and into Sullivan's office.

Sullivan opened his office drawer and grabbed the first aid kit. He grabbed an ice pack from it and popped it. He handed the cooling pack to Lucas. Lucas placed it on his eye and felt immediate relief at the cooling effect.

"I'm really sorry about all of this," Sullivan said. He paused. "I'm assuming you're here to discuss our request for an interim station transfer."

Lucas nodded, another twinge of pain sparking in his eye. It had been years since he had had to nurse a slowly developing black eye, and he had forgotten how painful it was.

Sullivan sighed again. "Gibson is part of this situation. He's been under a lot of stress since the skyscraper incident, but he's reluctant to take leave until he's sure that our station can be covered. I understand that, with both Herrera and myself on medical light duty and with Hughes's pregnancy, we are extremely short-staffed.”

Lucas's brain short circuited. "Hughes is pregnant?" Lucas asked, incredulous, unsure if he had heard Sullivan correctly.

Sullivan nodded. "I thought you knew. It's on her file at headquarters."

"When is she due?" Lucas asked.

Sullivan gave him a slightly perplexed look. "August," Sullivan answered. "And she'll be joining us on full duty again in January of next year."

The dates added up, and it gave Gibson a good reason to have punched him, assuming that Gibson knew. But if Hughes's baby was indeed Lucas's, then why hadn't Hughes told him? Hughes was terrible at keeping secrets, and one would assume that a secret of this magnitude would be difficult to keep hidden, unless Hughes was concerned that her pregnancy would affect the status of their relationship or lack thereof. 

“Luke!” Came Sullivan’s voice, jolting Lucas from his thoughts. “Are you okay?” he asked. 

“I’m fine,” Lucas replied. 

“Really?” Sullivan said, arching an eyebrow skeptically. “I called you several times, and it seemed like you were a million miles away just then.” 

“I’m fine, I, uh-” Lucas sputtered.  
Lucas didn’t get a chance to respond because suddenly the door was opening and Hughes poked her head in. 

“Captain Sullivan,” she began, and then she trailed off when she noticed Lucas. 

“You can come in, Hughes,” Sullivan said. “Chief Ripley and I were just discussing an interim transfer of another firefighter. 

Hughes froze, eyes darting from Sullivan to Lucas and back again, before she finally decided to step inside the office. 

Lucas’s eyes immediately went to Hughes midsection. She didn’t _look_ pregnant. But then again, she was probably only twelve or thirteen weeks.

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to training,” Hughes explained. “I should be back around 11 o’clock.”

Lucas opened his mouth to say something, to acknowledge Hughes, but his mind was frozen. He couldn’t think, couldn’t speak. He could hardly breathe. 

Sullivan cleared his throat, and Lucas turned to look at him. 

“I’ll need you to write up an incident report when you get back,” Sullivan said. “Gibson had a physical altercation with Chief Ripley.” 

Hughes appeared to choke for a moment, most likely on her own spit. “What?” She asked. 

“Gibson punched me,” Lucas clarified. 

Hughes blinked. “Oh, shit,” she said. She was avoiding Lucas’s eyes, alternating between staring and Sullivan and her shoes. 

And it was at that moment that Lucas realized that he was almost certainly the father of Hughes’s baby, which explained why Gibson punched him, and it explained why Hughes was avoiding Lucas’s eyes. 

“Herrera and Bishop will have to give statements,” Sullivan said. “They witnessed the incident.” 

“Yes, sir,” Hughes said. 

“You’re dismissed,” Sullivan said firmly. 

Hughes nodded and then left the room. 

Sullivan eyed him suspiciously. Even though it had been more than 15 years ago, Sullivan and Lucas had been friends for years. They had gone through the academy together. They had worked together for 10 years after that, until Sullivan lost his wife. Still, Sullivan was able to read him with just a look. 

“Why do I get the feeling that Gibson punching you, your reaction to Hughes being pregnant, and that extremely awkward interaction just now are somehow related?” Sullivan demanded. 

Lucas stared at Sullivan’s desk. 

“Really, Luke?” Sullivan said. 

Lucas’s cheeks burned. “I didn’t know,” he said defensively. “I swear, I didn’t know or I would’ve…” 

“I believe you,” Sullivan cur Lucas off. “You don’t have to convince me.” 

Lucas huffed. “I should probably go talk to her.” 

“Not at work you won’t,” Sullivan said sharply. “I’m not going to report this right now because that’s something you guys need to work out on your own, but you’re not having this conversation at my station.” 

The klaxon sounded. “Aid Car 19. Ladder 19. Engine 19. Please respond to 450 Austin Ave.” 

Sullivan huffed. “I will talk to you later, Chief,” Sullivan said, standing quickly. “I look forward to see who will be in our station during our interim transfer.”

Lucas sighed and pressed the ice pack tighter on his eye. This definitely sucked.

-X-

 **Victoria Hughes** : Hey. I’m sorry about today. We really need to talk. 

**Lucas Ripley** : Yeah. We absolutely do. I get off at 0700 tomorrow. 

**Victoria Hughes** : Okay. Is my apartment okay? 

**Lucas Ripley** : Yes.

-X-

Lucas had done exactly zero percent of his paperwork since arriving back at his office, which meant that he was going to have double the amount of paperwork to do tomorrow morning and afternoon, but Lucas couldn’t focus, and it was better to have more work now than to make a critical mistake on future paperwork. 

He did a handful of things, like signing off on an interim transfer for Zachary Cohen, a firefighter and ladder operator from Station 36, but he didn’t trust himself to look at budgets or incident reports or anything else. Instead, he spent his time on BabyCenter, a site dedicated to pregnancy and babies. 

He learned that the baby was approximately the size of a pea pod. The baby’s heart was pumping blood into its body and its newly formed organs, and the baby had a heart, intestines, and kidneys. 

Looking up the logistics of it was easier than processing how Lucas felt, which was messy. Feelings weren’t Lucas’s strong suit, which wasn’t to say that he didn’t have emotion. It was that four years as Fire Chief (and even longer as Battalion Chief) had taught him how important it was to consider logic over emotion. Reacting with emotion was how people got killed. So he learned to compartmentalize: rational thought first, emotions later. 

And that helped in emergencies, even if his level of rational thought made him seeing indifferent and uncaring, (which was why, his brain noted traitorously, Hughes had yelled at him the night of the skyscraper). It didn’t help in cases right now, where he needed to think emotionally. 

He needed to figure things out, like why Hughes hadn’t told him about the pregnancy. 

There was the obvious, logical reason. He was the fire chief and she was a firefighter who had finished her probation year eight months ago. An unexpected pregnancy was a messy situation to begin with, but add in their uneven power dynamics, and it made sense that this was something that Hughes would try to hide, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. In fact, the lack of trust felt like a dull stinging in his chest. 

Certainly, Hughes had her own reasons for hiding it, and Lucas wouldn’t find out until he talked with her tomorrow.

There was a knock on the door, jolting Lucas from his thoughts. 

“Come in!” Lucas yelled. 

Gibson entered his office. 

“Gibson,” Lucas said. 

Gibson simply lifted his chin in acknowledgment. His jaw was set, and he didn’t look remorseful in the slightest. Unlike most people who were summoned to Lucas’s office, Gibson didn’t look like a kindergarten during their first visit to the principal’s office. He didn’t shrink or shy away from Lucas. Instead, he stood ramrod straight. 

“You may sit, Gibson,” Lucas said. 

Gibson nodded again and then settled in the chair in front of Lucas. 

“I trust you understand why you’re here,” Lucas began, and it probably wasn’t the best thing to say, but Lucas had no idea how else to break the tension. 

“Yes, sir,” Gibson said, staring pointedly at the small figurine on Lucas’s desk. 

“I have your incident report on file,” Lucas continued. 

Gibson looked up, staring Lucas in his one good eye. “I know that I’m supposed to say, ‘I’m sorry,’ but, uh, I’m not.” His tone lifted a little at the end of the sentence, almost as if he was framing his statement as a question. 

Lucas smirked a bit at Gibson’s confession. Gibson had no filter, which was both a blessing and a curse when it came to maintaining station functionality. He was unflinchingly honest. The honesty was refreshing, and it was something Lucas rarely saw these days. Too many people thought it was better to kiss Lucas’s ass than to actually give honest and accurate opinions. 

“I can’t say that I blame you, Gibson,” Lucas said honestly. If Lucas had been in Gibson’s shoes, he wouldn’t have hesitated to punch himself. Heck, Lucas would not have the self restraint to wait as long as Gibson did. “I probably would’ve done the same if I were in your shoes.” 

Gibson smirked just a bit at that confession. 

“For what it’s worth,” Lucas continued. “I didn’t know.” 

Gibson’s face softened just a little bit. “I figured you didnt when you looked utterly confused as to why I punched you. I didn’t realize that Hughes hadn’t told you, and punching you probably wasn’t the best course of action, but …” Gibson trailed off. 

“You’re still not sorry?” Lucas supplied, chuckling a little bit. 

“I’m not,” Gibson replied seriously. 

Lucas smirked again, and the shuffled the paperwork. “I pulled your file,” he said, his tone switching to serious. “You’re applying for a month long leave via the Family Medical Leave Act, correct?” 

Gibson nodded. “I’ve been dealing with some PTSD from the night of the skyscraper.” 

Lucas frowned a little. “That was… months ago. This is something that you should’ve addressed with your team-”

“I know,” Gibson said, cutting Lucas off. “I did a lot of things I’m not proud of, and I put my team in danger. And for that, I will apologize. It was irresponsible of me as a lieutenant to jeopardize my team’s safety because of personal matters, which is why I need leave.” 

It sounded practiced but sincere. 

“Just for a month?” Lucas pressed.

Gibson sank in his chair and stared at the figurine on Lucas’s desk. “It’s, uh, financially draining, sir,” he said. 

Lucas frowned more at that. Dealing with PTSD was difficult in it of itself, and that combined with financial difficulties sounded like a difficult loss to carry. Wheels began to click in Lucas’s head, and he turned to his computer and opened Gibson’s incident report. 

He had initially deferred discipline back to Sullivan, figuring Sullivan would do nothing given the circumstances, but he had a better idea in mind. He deleted the discipline referral and began typing quickly. 

“Sir?” Gibson said. 

“Back to the incident this morning,” Lucas said as he finished typing.

Gibson furrowed his eyebrows. 

“I’m suspending you,” Lucas said firmly. 

“What the fuck?” Gibson said, raising his voice. “You know why I punched you. That’s not… You’re an…” 

“You didn’t let me finish,” Lucas interrupted. “I’m suspending you for 15 shifts with pay. You’ll have to meet with Dr. Jacqueline Ingram at least 3 times during this period per department requirements. She’s a psychologist with experience working with first responders. Beyond the meetings, you’re free to spend your suspension however you’d like, and as is the case with all suspensions related to mental health, this will not show up on your record within the fire department. After that, you’re free to take additional leave as needed under FMLA.” 

Gibson blinked, once, then twice. “Thank you, sir,” he said. “You don’t have to do this just because I know. I wouldn’t tell anyway.” 

“I’d do this for any one of my guys,” Lucas clarifies. “PTSD isn’t a joke, and it can claim lives if it’s not cared for and treated properly. Six weeks of paid leave is nothing if it means that you’re alive.”

Lucas paused and took a moment to gather his thoughts. “But, separate from that, I owe you an apology. I’m sorry that I put you in a difficult position. It was unfair and irresponsible of me, as your Chief.” 

“Thanks for apologizing,” Gibson said in response. “And for what it’s worth, I think Hughes is just going through a lot, which is why she didn’t tell you. She seems stressed about everything. So, maybe don’t jump to conclusions before you talk to her.” 

Lucas smiled at that. “I’m glad Hughes has people who are willing to fight for her, even if it means I’ll get my ass kicked.” 

Gibson laughed at that. “And, uh, just so we’re clear, I don’t think my PTSD was completely to blame for me punching you.” 

The warning wasn’t particularly subtle. 

“Understood,” Lucas said. “You’re dismissed, Gibson.” 

-X-

Vic’s guilt over the entire situation was palpable. Everything had imploded, and it was her fault. 

She sighed as she walked down the dock to Miller and Gibson’s house.

Gibson had punched Ripley, his boss’s boss, and that incident had been mostly, completely Vic’s fault. 

She knocked on the door of the houseboat. 

It swung open a moment later. 

“Is Jack here?” Vic asked quietly. 

Miller nodded. “He’s in his room. You can come in.” 

“Thanks,” Vic said with a small smile. “Did Jack tell you anything?” Vic asked. 

Miller shook his head. He grabbed a plate that was wrapped in aluminum foil. “If he lets you in, could you give him a plate?He hasn’t left his room since he got back from his meeting with Ripley.” 

“He had a meeting with Ripley?” Vic asked, shocked. 

This was worse than she expected. 

“I don’t know what happened,” Miller said. “He came home, said he had talked with Ripley, and that he didn’t want to talk about it.” He handed Vic the plate. 

Vic sighed. “I’ll try to talk to him.” 

Miller gave her a skeptical glance. “I don’t think that Jack…” he trailed off. 

“This will, uh, all be explained soon,” Vic said. “It’s just a mess right now.” 

Miller nodded, and Vic turned on her heel and headed toward Jack’s room. 

She knocked. 

“I told you, Dean,” came Jack’s voice. “I’m not hun-“ 

Vic pushed the door open. 

“Oh,” Jack said. “Hi, Hughes.” 

Vic waved awkwardly, and then held up the plate. “Miller wanted to make sure you ate something.” Vic turned on the light and shut the door and Gibson groaned. 

She placed the plate on the dresser and then settled on the beanbag. 

An uncomfortable silence settled around the room. 

“I owe you an apology,” Vic said. “I put you in a difficult position and I didn’t tell you what was going on and you uh… you…” 

“Punched Ripley?” Gibson supplied, chuckling a little. 

“Yes, that,” Vic said. “I’m sorry about that. Miller told me that you met with Ripley. What happened?” 

“I got suspended,” Gibson said. 

“Wait, what?” Vic stuttered, shocked. “Does he know why you punched him?” 

Gibson sat up in bed and nodded. “You didn’t let me finish,” he continued. “Ripley suspended me for fifteen shifts, with pay. It’s more than I would’ve gotten with off time from FMLA. Dean said I was fine with rent this month, but therapy is expensive and shit. Paid suspension is probably the best thing that could’ve happened.” 

Vic smiled at him. “I’m glad you’re getting help,” she said. “And thank you, for being a friend and for punching Ripley, even if it was misinformed. I’m glad I have someone willing to go to bat for me.” 

“It’s no problem, Hughes,” Gibson said. “I’d do it for any of my team.” 

“Well, I don’t think Miller will be getting knocked up by Ripley anytime soon,” Vic joked. 

Gibson laughed out loud, something he hadn’t done in a while. 

“Seriously, though,” Vic said. “Thank you. And I meant what I said the other day, when I said that you were like a brother to me. Thanks for sticking up for me.” 

Gibson smiled. 

“I should probably get home,” Vic said as she stood. “I just wanted to check on you, but I’m meeting with Ripley in the morning, so I should probably get some sleep.” 

“Good luck,” Gibson said. 

“Thanks,” Vic replied. “I’m going to need it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Gibson this chapter was so much fun. I’ll admit I didn’t like him during Season 1, but not he’s my precious son and anyone who harms will have hell to pay. 
> 
> As you can see, I put the long awaited discussion off for another chapter. I originally had it for this chapter, but it made things really long and clunky. 
> 
> That said, I’m in a spirit of giving because of Christmas so I’d keep my eyes peeled for a potential Christmas present. (We’ll see. 😉) 
> 
> How was this chapter? Did you love it? Hate it? Am I doing this writing thing right? 
> 
> Please please please come say hi to me on tumblr. I’m super bored and I need people to talk S19 with. I’m Cyrus-Breeze. And I will follow you back. Hahahaha. 
> 
> Anyway, I gotta put this kid to bed before his brain rots out of his head from this tv show.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love this chapter. It was actually the second part of the story I wrote during NaNo and it’s probably my favorite scene in this story. 
> 
> I felt bad leaving y’all on a cliffy. 
> 
> This is shorter than average because it was supposed to be part of Ch. 4 but that would’ve made Chapter 4 way too long and also it wasn’t edited on Friday. 
> 
> Anyway... without further ado: ENJOY!

The drive to Hughes’s apartment was a relatively long one, giving Lucas Ripley awhile to think about what was going to happen. 

Hughes was pregnant. Hughes was going to have a baby, his baby, in a few weeks. 

Lucas had figured that parenting wasn’t in the cards for him. When he married his first wife, Laura, straight out of high school the two of them decided that they were too young to have kids. By the time they were old enough to have kids, their marriage was in the weeds and Lucas wasn’t going to force a child to endure that, so they got divorced. 

Eva was different. Eva hadn’t wanted kids, and Lucas was okay with that. He didn’t need kids. Biological offspring weren’t a priority of rhyme. He had his nieces and nephews to spoil, and that was enough. 

And then marriage number two had fallen apart. 

So Lucas put all his time and energy into his job. He had one night stands and short, meaningless relationships. By the time he was forty, his mom stopped pestering him about grandchildren, and Lucas was okay with the reality of him never having children. It wasn’t in the cards for him. 

Until now. 

Now, Hughes was pregnant and everything was falling apart. He was going to be father in a little more than five months. In five months, he was going to be responsible for a very tiny, very breakable human being. 

And the thought was terrifying. 

And that wasn’t even considering the very real facts of Lucas’s relationship (or lack thereof) with Hughes. They would have disclose everything to HR, which meant that Lucas could lose his position and (more importantly) Hughes was going to be looked at differently by her peers. 

Gibson knew and so did Sullivan but Lucas had no idea if the rest of the station knew about the two of them. They didn’t seem to treat Hughes any differently, and Lucas hoped it stayed that way. 

He pulled into the parking lot of Hughes’s apartment building and found a parking space. 

Frankel was going to have a cow. (She was probably going to have the entire damned farm.) 

But Lucas was getting ahead of himself. Right now, he needed to focus on talking to Hughes. They could discuss everything later. 

He sighed, turned off his car, and walked toward Hughes’s apartment building. 

His body worked on autopilot, and a moment later he found himself at her front door. He knocked. 

Hughes opened the door a moment later. 

“Good morning,” Lucas said, offering her a small smile. 

She looked different, and Lucas realized belatedly that he had only ever seen her once outside of her uniform. (Well, technically he had seen more than that because he had seen her naked, but that hardly counted). She was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a UCLA t-shirt. And the sayings about pregnancy glow seemed to ring true, she seemed radiant. She looked different. 

“Good morning,” Hughes replied, stepping aside so that Lucas could enter. 

“Would you like something to drink?” Hughes asked. “I got rid of my caffeinated coffee but I have decaf, tea, orange juice, and water.” 

“I’ll take some coffee,” Lucas replied. Even decaf was better than nothing. 

Lucas peered around Hughes’s apartment. Her apartment looked different in the late morning light. He had only woken up there a handful of times, and most times, he was late for work. Little touches of Hughes were everywhere. 

His eyes found a photo on her coffee table. 

It was Hughes and six others. They were all grinning. The man standing next to Hughes was wearing a graduation cap and gown. He and Hughes looked alike, although the man’s complexion was slightly darker. Lucas hadn’t known that Hughes had a brother, but then again, he didn’t know a lot about her. 

He studied the photo for a moment. On the other side of Hughes was a short blonde girl who looked to be just a little older than Hughes. On the other side of Hughes’s brother was a girl that looked to be Hispanic. In the front row were two others, both of them in wheelchairs, one also looked to be Hispanic and the other one looked to be East Asian. The last person in the photo was crouched down, doing what Lucas’s seventeen year old nephew referred to as “dabbing.” 

“That was my little brother’s graduation,” Hughes said, startling Lucas from his thoughts. 

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Lucas said by way of conversation. 

“I have three brothers and three sisters,” Hughes replies. “I’m the middle child. Jace’s graduation was the last time we were all in the same state.” She gestured to the photo. “And, uh, before you ask, we were all adopted, well, except Hannah. She’s the oldest.” 

Lucas nodded in acknowledgment. 

“We should probably sit and talk,” Hughes said. 

“We should,” Lucas agreed. He walked over to Hughes’s kitchen table and sat down. 

“I’m pregnant,” Hughes blurted. “But you already knew that. It’s yours,” she clarified needlessly. 

Lucas paused, trying to figure out how to say what he needed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked. 

Hughes stared at her mug of juice and chewed lightly on her lip. “I was scared,” Hughes began. “I didn’t know what to do and I panicked. I found out I was pregnant and that’s the single most terrifying thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

Lucas couldn’t imagine, the level of terror that comes when finding out that you’re not only pregnant, but pregnant by your boss’s boss’s boss. It felt like it was his fault. “I’m sorry that I made you feel as though you couldn’t trust me,” Lucas said. 

“It’s not that,” Hughes said quickly. “It’s not that I don’t trust you or anything. I’m, uh, im adopted, and there’s a lot that comes with that. Most kids know how they came about, ether they were an accident or planned. They know who their parents are and how they reacted to the pregnancy. I never knew these things.”

Hughes paused, taking a sip of her juice, and Lucas wondered if he should say something. 

“I didn’t have access to any of my history, and for awhile I didn’t care, but I needed my medical history for the doctors,” Hughes continued. “So, I went to get my medical files, and they gave me some paperwork with non identifying information. And I learned that my biological father was my mom’s professor when she was in law school. He denied paternity, and while the paperwork doesn’t give the details, she transferred law schools after her second year. And typically, if you transfer after second year, you have to repeat your second year. And the similarities of the situation hit close to home.” 

And that part made sense. Lucas was no stranger to overthinking situations. Lucas’s mum always said that the outcomes he made up in his head were far worse than any real life outcome, and the fact that he would think about it until it permeated his brain made things worse. 

(Of course, Lucas’s ability to see the worst outcome made him a solid Fire Chief. It helped him prepare for when worse came to worse. He could be ready for almost any event. Fire was unpredictable, but the more outcomes he predicted, the better prepared he could be.) 

He knew what it wa like to overthink situations, but he had never experienced a crisis of this magnitude. “I’m sorry, Hughes. I can’t imagine going through that.” 

“My mom repeated her second year because she got pregnant with me. And whoever mt biological father is made things so difficult that it affected her education,” Hughes said. “I made her situation so messy and so complicated that she moved states. I just, I panicked and...” 

Lucas was unsure how to respond to that. He couldn’t relate, couldn’t understand the depth of Hughes’s feelings regarding this. 

The silence hung heavy in the air.

“I owe you an apology,” Hughes said after a long moment. “Not just for keeping this from you but also because I let my anxiety over this situation get the better of me. I made assumptions that were contrary to everything I know about you as a person. And I violated your trust. I’m sorry.” 

He understood where she was coming from. This was a lot for anyone to process, butit still stung. It still hurt. Hughes hid her pregnancy from Lucas for almost six weeks. She told everyone else on her team except for Lucas. And that hurt. Betrayal simmered beneath the surface, and Lucas struggled to squash it down. 

“I’m not going to lie,” Lucas began. “I was extremely upset when I found out that you were pregnant and that you were hiding it from me. Everyone else, your station, your team, knew, except for me. I wondered when or if you were going to tell me. Were you just going to keep this from me until i inevitable found out? And what if I didn’t find out? How long were you going to hide this from me for?” Lucas tried not to let his anger show. He felt angry, but Hughes felt scared, and yelling would do absolutely nothing to diffuse the situation.

Hughes was quiet for a moment. “I was going to tell you yesterday,” she said after a beat. “I told myself that I was going to tell you. I made a plan and I wrote it in my journal and everything. I should’ve told you sooner, I know that. But I was scared. I was scared that you were going to get overwhelmed and…” Hughes trailed off. 

“This is a lot to hear and take in, but I’m not going to abandon you or my kid just because all of this is unplanned,” Lucas said. 

He knew what it was like growing up without a dad. It had been difficult, and Lucas knew that his dad had loved him a lot. Lucas just didn’t remember him. 

“My dad died when I was little,” Lucas began. “I don’t remember much about him, but I do remember what it was like growing up without a dad, and my dad had no choice but to leave me. I couldn’t imagine consciously making a decision to make my child grow up without a father. I will be here for my kid, and I’ll be here for you in whatever way you want me to.”

“I'm sorry to hear about your father, Ripley. My dad is my rock, and I couldn’t imagine life without him. I’m glad you’re here, and that our baby has you,” Hughes said softly. And I’m sorry that I took so long to tell you...” 

_Our baby_. Lucas liked the sound of that. He was going to be a dad. 

“Give me one moment,” Hughes said, standing up from the table. 

She returned a moment later with a small glossy photo. 

“Is that the baby?” Lucas asked. 

Hughes nodded as she handed him the photo “I had a scan at eight weeks,” Hughes said. “That’s the most recent photo of Bean.” 

“Bean?” Lucas asked, staring at the photo. He pressed a finger to the photo. That was his baby, their baby, and he was the smallest, most perfect thing that he had ever seen. 

“That’s what I call the baby,” Hughes explained with a short laugh. “It seemed wrong to just call him or her it. And I didn’t want to give Bean an actual name and then hate it whenever they’re born or something.” 

“Bean’s so little,” Lucas said. The baby was tiny. Bean was tiny and he still had a lot of growing to do. 

“They’re the size of a lemon,” Hughes supplied. 

Lucas remembered reading that yesterday. “And Bean’s kidneys are just starting to function,” Lucas remembered. “And they have intestines and their heart has been pumping blood for almost eight weeks. I read that.” 

“You read that,” Hughes said, seeming impressed. 

“He’s so beautiful,” Lucas noted, not removing his eyes from the picture. 

“I might be biased,” Hughes agreed. “But I’m pretty sure that Bean is the cutest alien-looking thing I’ve ever seen.” 

“He really is,” Lucas said with a grin. “When’s your next appointment?” He asked. 

He wanted to go. He wanted to see Bean in real time and hear their heartbeat. 

“Three weeks,” Hughes answered. “My doctor said that she might be able to tell the gender then.” 

A comfortable silence fell between the two of them. 

“I’m going to be a dad,” Lucas said, almost as if the thought had just occurred to him. Staring at the photo of his baby made everything feel suddenly very real. 

“We’re going to be parents,” Hughes said. 

The wheels in Lucas’s head were turning, and Lucas knew that by the end of the night, he was going to have a million scenarios as to how or why everything could go wrong. 

But right now, all Lucas could do was stare at the picture of his baby, the baby that he somehow already felt a strong sense of love for. 

Lucas could deal with the problems later, but for now, he wanted to fall in love with his kid, and that would be enough. Yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now for the bad news: Next chapter won’t be up until January 4th. 
> 
> I haven’t even started Ch 6 so there’s no way I could post it on Friday. 
> 
> I hope y’all enjoyed this chapter. 
> 
> Please leave a comment. 
> 
> Merry Christmas if you celebrate it! Happy Kwanzaa if you celebrate that! And Happy New Year! Wishing you guys a great holiday season and sending you positive vibes. I hope you enjoy this holiday season and good luck dealing with family and in-laws! 
> 
> I know it’s rough but stay strong! 
> 
> As always, my tumblr inbox is always open, so HMU. (Cyrus-Breeze)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot today was Friday because it's been a weird week with like three days off and it threw me so hard. I edited this chapter pretty quickly lol. 
> 
> I would just like to take a moment to remind everyone that this story is rated M and it earns its rating in this chapter. 
> 
> On that note, I would also like to take a moment to thank my best friend and Bug, Ollie, for taking the time to edit the smut He is a saint (probably not the best wording) for putting up with me. I love and appreciate him beyond belief. 
> 
> Beyond the smut, none of this is beta read, so, um, bear with me please and thank you. PLease let me know if there's any glaring mistakes. 
> 
> This chapter was bought to you by 50cent warhead candy canes, rasberry sorbet, not enough sleep, and a SNOW DAY in Oklahoma. I'm living my best life. 
> 
> [Also, I tried to use Australian slang but I'm not Australian and it shows. Please don't shoot me. (Or do, I wouldn't mind either way, tbqh.)]

_February 22nd, 2019_

_Telling Ripley went well, better than expected actually. I should have told him earlier, and I feel really guilty that I didn’t. It was definitely unfair of me, but I’m glad that the truth eventually did get out, even if it wasn’t exactly how I planned._

_Unfortunately, the hard part isn’t over yet and I need to tell the station. It’s only fair to Jack that they understand why he punched Ripley. Not to mention, I’m going to have to tell everyone eventually. We need to notify HR about our relationship and the fact that I’m pregnant. Which means the entire department is going to be gossiping about this._

_I know my teammates are going to lose their shit, especially Travis and Maya, and probably Andy too. I just hope they don’t think differently of me, which I know that they won’t, but there’s still that little voice in my head that tells me that they’re going to be pissed at me._

_It’s going to get messy, but it isn’t like I can change it._

_On another note, pregnancy is weird. Sometimes I forget there’s a whole other human growing inside me, which is absolutely crazy._

_My sex drive is through the roof, which Dr. Deluca said would happen. But knowing it’s normal doesn’t help the fact that I am ridiculously horny and I need to-_

A knock on the door jolted Victoria from her journaling. She wasn’t expecting anyone, but that didn’t mean that no one was going to show up. 

“Coming,” Vic called out as she grabbed a shirt from the pile of laundry on the loveseat and tugged it over her head. She also grabbed a pair of yoga pants and quickly pulled them on. Then, she walked to the door. 

“Hey,” Vic said as she opened it. 

She was surprised to see Ripley on the other side. He was holding two plastic bags. “Hi,” Ripley said. “I should have called but my phone died and I didn’t have my charger with me and…” Lucas trailed off. “I brought burgers?” He held up one of the bags. “Turkey burgers,” he clarified. 

Vic smiled at him. He remembered. She had managed to escape morning sickness for the most part except for the initial weeklong bout of nausea that had clued her in to the fact that she was pregnant, but even so much as looking at any type of red meat was enough to cause Vic intense nausea. The smell was unbearable, and it was downright impossible to even take a bite of anything containing red meat without vomiting. Bean clearly wasn’t going to be coming out a fan of steak. 

“I can go if you want me to,” Lucas said awkwardly, looking at his shoes.

“No, no,” Vic said quickly. “A burger sounds amazing right now.” (Because her aversion to red meat didn’t automatically mean that she wasn’t craving a burger, quite the opposite actually. She just couldn’t eat a burger with red meat.) “Especially a Uneeda burger,” she added. 

Uneeda was easily Vic’s favorite place in Seattle, and when Ripley was over one afternoon in December, Vic learned that Ripley had never tried a Uneeda burger. So they ordered UberEats and had their first shared meal. It had been amazing. Ripley had loved his burger and Vic enjoyed watching him eat it. 

Vic stepped aside to let Ripley in and Ripley smiled. 

“How are you two doing?” Ripley asked. 

“Tired,” Vic answered. She was indeed, exhausted, even though all the pregnancy websites claimed that exhaustion was supposed to pass after the first trimester. 

“I’m sorry,” Ripley said, his voice sincere. 

Vic shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal. It’s probably because my body is still trying to adjust to not having coffee.” 

Ripley placed both bags on the table and began unpacking them. “How was work yesterday?” He asked. 

Vic sighed as she grabbed two glasses to fill with water. She knew what Ripley was getting at. He wanted to know if she had talked to the team about their situation. 

“I, uh, I didn’t go,” Vic said. 

It felt awkward telling her boss that she had technically skipped work, but it wasn’t without reason. 

“I went with the marshal to inspect a daycare in the morning, and then I ended up with a really bad migraine. I came home and slept, so I haven’t seen the team since Gibson, uh, punched you,” Vic explained. 

“Are you feeling better?” Ripley asked. 

Vic nodded, setting both glasses on the table and then sitting down. “I got some sleep and took a painkiller and I felt a lot better when I woke up this morning.” 

“That’s good,” Ripley said. He handed Vic her food. 

Vic immediately dug into her food. She took a bite of her turkey burger and almost moaned with delight. “This is amazing,” she said once she had swallowed her first bite. 

“I’m glad you like it,” Ripley said with a chuckle. 

Vic sighed. “We need to talk,” She said. “About what I can tell my team about this.” Vic gestured unceremoniously to her stomach. 

Ripley’s eyebrows furrowed a little and he took a bite of his own burger. “What do you want to do?” He asked. 

“I think they need to know the truth,” Vic said. “Jack punched you for a reason, however misguided it was, and I think it’s unfair to him to let the team assume that he did it because of unresolved anger issues.” 

“I agree,” Ripley added. “And we have to tell HR at some point.” He sighed. “And let me just say, Reagan Peterson is not going to be happy.” 

“Neither is Station 19,” Vic said. “If I’m honest. I trust them, but I know that they’re going to have things to say about this.” 

“I can do it with you if that helps,” Ripley offered. 

“I appreciate that,” Vic said. “But I don’t think that it‘s going to be that bad, and honestly, you being there might make it worse. Station 19 is my family, and while I know that they’re not going to have the greatest reaction, they have my best interest in mind.” 

“I’m glad you have people you can trust,” Ripley said. 

“You’ve got people too, right?” Vic asked. “You’re not going through all of this alone?” 

Ripley nodded. “Frankel and I are actually pretty good friends. She was an EO when I was a rookie, and we actually got promoted to Lieutenant at the same time, even though she should’ve been promoted sooner. Frankel’s not going to be happy, but I know I’ve got someone in my corner. And Sullivan, too, I think.” 

“Sullivan?” Vic prodded. She knew from her internet stalking of Sullivan that he had lived in Seattle for several years prior to moving to Montana, and she knew from the training day that Sullivan and Ripley knew each other at the very least. 

“We were friends, back before he moved,” Ripley said quietly. “We had a disagreement on a call that was personal to him, and it ended our friendship. But that’s not my story to tell.” Ripley chewed thoughtfully on his onion ring. 

“I’m glad you have someone, at least,” Vic said.

The two of them ate in silence for awhile. 

“We need to talk about _us_ ,” Vic blurted unceremoniously. “We were sleeping together and then we weren’t and now there’s Bean and I think we need to talk about where we stand.” 

Ripley was quiet for a long moment, and Vic wondered if she shouldn’t have said that, but they needed to discuss where their relationship stood. 

“I liked what we had,” Ripley began. “Before this… I liked hanging out after shift and watching movies and eating a Uneeda burger. But the ball is in your court. I don’t want to pressure you into making this relationship something that you don’t want it to be. If you just want to be friends that happen to have a child together, then I’m okay with that. I don’t want you to do anything that you’re not comfortable with.” 

“I liked it too,” Vic agreed. “Before I, uh, ghosted you. I’m sorry for that again. But I liked it. I like you. I want to try this again.” 

“We need to go slowly,” Ripley said. 

Vic laughed. “It’s a bit too late for slow,” she said, gesturing at her stomach. 

Ripley chuckled. “Maybe it is a little late for super slowly, but, we shouldn’t rush into this, especially given the circumstances.” 

“I agree,” Vic said. “Slow is… good. This-“ Vic gestured to their meal. “Is good. I’m not usually good at relationships, and I don’t usually do this.” And Vic didn’t usually do relationships. Her last serious relationship had lasted almost two years before it crashed and burned, more like, exploded actually. She hadn’t dated anyone seriously since her junior year of college. It had mostly been one night stands and friends with benefits. 

“Neither do I,” Ripley said. He looked past Vic for a moment, his face changing. “I haven’t done anything serious since my second wife and I divorced ten years ago.” 

Vic froze for a moment. “Second?” she said curiously. (She hadn’t really pegged Ripley as the type for marriage, much less two marriages.) 

“My first wife, Laura, and I were young and stupid,” Ripley explained. “We got married right out of high school and it fell apart pretty quickly after I joined the fire academy. We split on good terms and we’re still friends. Getting married was just a bad decision.” 

“I understand that,” Vic said. And she did, understand it, all too well. Gabe, her ex, had been her best friend a year before they started dating. And it was good, until it wasn’t. They both had too much going on to actually have a relationship with each other, and it showed when their relationship inevitably blew up. Vic was still curious about Ripley’s second wife, but perhaps now wasn’t the best time to ask about her. “I’ve had my share of relationships that didn’t work out. I want this to work,” Vic continued. “Even if we can’t be in a relationship, I still want us to be friends, for Bean.” 

Ripley nodded. “I agree,” he said. “If this doesn’t work out, we still need to be civil for Bean.” He smiled at the moniker. 

Vic returned to eating her food and the two of them fell into a comfortable silence. 

When they finished, Ripley pulled a pack of gum from his pocket. “Would you like one?” He asked. 

Vic nodded, and took a piece of gum, popping it into her mouth. 

She stood and began clearing the table. 

“I’ll wash the dishes?” Ripley suggested. 

There weren’t very many dishes: just the two cups that they had used and three utensils. 

“Sure, thanks,” Vic said. 

Ripley smiled at her and grabbed the cups and utensils from the table. He walked over to her sink and began rinsing the five dishes. 

Vic observed him as she wiped down the table. He cleaned each dish methodically before he placed him in the dishwasher. 

It all felt surprisingly domestic, sharing a meal and then cleaning up together. 

Vic’s gum had lost its flavors already, so she spit it into the trash can as she walked past. She placed the wet rag on the edge of the counter, her shoulder brushing Ripley’s as she did so. 

Vic didn’t know what compelled her to do so, especially given their prior conversation about taking things slow, but Vic stood on her toes to give Ripley a kiss on the cheek. 

Ripley had turned his head ever so slightly and Vic ended up catching the corner of his mouth. 

Vic hadn’t intended to kiss him on the lips, but she wasn’t complaining. It felt _electric_. Ripley moved to deepen the kiss before he paused. 

“Uh, hold on,” he said, pulling back. He turned to trash can and spit his gum into it. 

Vic smirked as he turned back to her and lifted her chin. He kissed her again, this time with surprising ferocity. Vic’s tongue slipped into Ripley’s mouth.  
Her sex drive had been through the roof since she had reached her second trimester, and although she had put her vibrator to _very_ good use, nothing could compare to the feeling of Ripley’s lips on hers. 

Beyond the Red Hot gum he’d been chewing, he tasted almost familiar, and it made the blood in her veins run hot.

“Wait, wait,” Ripley said, pulling away. “What about slow?” 

Vic smirked. “My sex drive increased tenfold,” she joked, “and it’s your fault.” She thumbed Ripley’s top button carefully, nearly popping it open before leaving it alone again.

“If that’s the case…” Ripley trailed off into nothing. He grinned and kissed her again, deep and hot. She could feel him hardening against the right fabric of his dress blues, and rocked into him, trying to get as close as she could. His hands toyed with the hem of her shirt, delving under until he could rub his palm over her side, just shy of her just-curved stomach. His fingers grazing the tiny bump, almost hesitant before smoothing his hand over her. At fifteen weeks, her bump was little more than just that, but he touched her with reverence. His passion never waned, but refined into something greater, something brighter and much more wonderful.

His kiss softened and Vic practically melted into him.

(Vic would later journal that his gentleness with her bump was absolutely a turn on.) 

He pulled off her shirt easily and Vic grinned as he pulled away, taking her in for everything she was.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered — and Ripley was good at that, the giving compliments during foreplay. But he said them with sincerity, unlike many of the men she had had before. He said them with such earnestness that her chest _ached_.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Vic teased as he pulled her back to him. He kissed her cheek, and then down her neck.. He nipped her neck and hooked his fingers in the waistband of her yoga pants and pulled them down, taking Vic’s underwear down along with them. She stepped out of the puddle of clothing before Ripley took Vic by the waist and lifted her onto the kitchen counter. 

Ripley grinned wickedly, when he caught sight of her amused little smile. “What? I didn’t think you were gonna invite me in here and not put me to work.” 

And oh — _oh_ , that was hot. She grinned, playing along with him. “You gotta work for your cake.” Her fingers wound into his collar, though it slipped from her fingers as he dropped to his knees in front of her.

She wrapped her legs around his shoulders, pulling him closer to her center. He took hold of her thighs and smirked up at her. Spreading her with his thumbs, he pressed his tongue to Vic’s clit, swirling and sucking lightly. “I’m happy to,” Ripley responded. 

Ripley was talented when it came to pleasing a woman, there was no denying that. He had an incredible tongue and _certainly_ knew how to use it. That was a fact proven to Vic time and time again.

“Shit,” Vic whined as Ripley dipped a deft finger into her. “Shit, fuck, shit.” Her fingers found his wavy curls and she tugged, winding her fingers in tight.

That only seemed to spur Ripley on with more fervor. He entered a second finger inside of Vic and curled them _just so._ She cursed and arched her back, pressing her head back against the cabinet.

She was close within minutes. She felt like her body was a coil, tightening and curling until it threatened to spring, or more likely snap.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Vic whined. “I’m close. Rip—” she cut herself off before she could finish, switching gears. She figured that if she was going to do this, with the father of her child, in her _kitchen_ of all places, she was going to call him “—Lucas, I’m close.” 

Ripley quickened his fingers and refocused his mouth on her clit.

And all at once, she sprung. Her hips lifted themselves up from the counter, pressing them into Ripley’s face. He rode her through her orgasm, never pausing his fingers until she keened and pushed him away with a palm on his forehead.

He licked his lips and grinned up at her. Any wicked reply he had prepared died on his mouth as he caught sight of her. She was catching her breath, leaning up against the cabinet. Her hand dropped to stroke herself idly, like an afterthought.

She swallowed and smiled down at him. “Come on,” she urged, taking her legs down from his shoulders. “Come fuck me, baby.” The term of endearment surprised her. She wasn’t normally one for pet names, but it seemed fitting. 

Ripley curled his hand around the lip of the counter and hauled himself up to his feet, unable to bear another second where he wasn’t kissing her. She tasted herself on his tongue, and groaned at the thought of it. She pulled Ripley’s shirt from his pants in a hurried movement. The impatience was building again, and if she didn’t get him out of this shirt soon, she was going to start popping buttons without remorse.

She was just about to make good on the threat before a shrill ringtone cut through to her ears. She frowned to the ceiling as Ripley tipped her head back, kissing down her neck. “Shit,” Vic muttered as Ripley nipped her collar bone. “That’s _your_ cellphone.” 

As if just realizing the fact, Ripley pulled away. “Dammit,” he growled. He pulled away went to retrieve his phone from the opposite counter.

“Chief Ripley speaking,” he answered, doing a damn good job at putting up a neutral voice. 

Vic couldn’t hear what was going on on the other line, but she could tell from the look on Ripley’s face that something was wrong. Looked like she wasn’t getting any more tonight. 

“I can be there in ten minutes,” Ripley told the other person on the line. “Thank you for informing me. Yes, I’ll see you then. Okay.” He slid his phone across the screen to end the call and pocketed the phone. He looked to Vic with a grimace “Unfortunately, I have to go,” he said. “There’s a two-alarm blaze downtown that’s zero percent contained, and I’m currently on call. I’m sorry.” He looked genuinely apologetic. 

“It’s fine,” Vic said, and she meant it. She understood perfectly. She pulled her panties back up and pulled her shirt down as far as it would go. “You have to do your job.” 

Ripley sighed and then re-buttoned his shirt as he headed towards the door to put on his shoes.

Once he straightened back up, Vic pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I’ll see you later,” she said, searching his eyes.

“Later,” Ripley promised with a grin. “If you need anything, call me. Or text. And, uh, let me know how tomorrow goes.”

“I will,” she promised. 

He looked her over one last time before waving and leaving the door.

Vic shut shut the door behind him and pressed her back against it. They had been so _close_ to having sex, and with Vic’s newfound drive, having to stop was almost painful. Cockblocked by a downtown fire. 

She sighed for a moment before pushing herself up again and made her way to her bedroom. She could make do with B.O.B. for one more night. 

-X-

Vic asked for everyone’s attention at breakfast the next morning. 

“What’s wrong?” Travis asked, immediately noticing the look on Vic’s face. 

“Nothing,” Vic said quickly, too quickly. 

Everyone’s eyes narrowed on her. 

Vic swallowed. 

_I’m a little teapot short and stout…_

She had no idea how she was going to tell this to the team. She needed to. She inhaled sharply and then breathed out. In. Out. In. Out. 

“Chief Ripley is the father of my baby,” she blurted, like ripping a bandaid off. 

The table fell completely silent and Vic fidgeted in her seat. 

“Say something, please,” Vic said to her teammates, looking around the table at their blank faces. 

“Wait, what?” Maya was the first to speak. 

The others looked varying degrees of shocked. 

“Chief Ripley is the father of my baby,” Vic repeated, slower this time. 

“We heard that,” Maya said. “How?” 

“Well,” Vic tried to joke. “When two people get together, and one of them has a sperm and the other has an egg…” 

The joke fell flat, and Vic stared pointedly at her pancakes. 

“Was it consensual?” Travis blurted. 

Vic looked up; Travis’s eyes were soft and concerned but questioning. 

“Yes, of course, it was, it is,” Vic clarified. 

“How long has this been going on for?” Andy asked. 

“It started at Miller’s birthday party,” Vic answered.

“Waving buddies,” Andy said quietly, mostly to herself. 

“And then we kinda stopped once I found that I was pregnant in January. I didn’t tell him and he didn’t know. And that’s why Jack punched him,” Vic explained. 

“Holy shit,” came Miller’s response.

“That’s, that’s a lot,” Travis said. 

“Just to clarify: you and the Chief were sleeping together and now you’re pregnant with his baby?” Warren asked. 

“Keep up, probie,” Vic teased lightly. The joke fell flat again and Vic’s eyes returned to her plate.

“Does HR know?” Travis asked, ever the rule follower. 

“Not yet,” Vic said. “We’re telling them soon, but I figured that I owed it to Jack to explain to you guys why he punched Ripley.” 

“Glad Jack did it,” Miller said, and his voice was hard. “Or I would’ve done it myself.” 

“It takes two to tango,” Vic said defensively. “It’s not all Ripley’s fault. We both decided to have sex.”

The table was quiet again. 

Vic took a bite of her rapidly cooling pancakes. 

“What the hell were you thinking?” Maya blurted. 

“I don’t know,” Vic said. “It happened, and I can’t change that now.” 

“But you _have_ to know how this looks,” Maya said, her voice rising a little.

Vic shrunk back a bit. She had prepared herself for a negative reaction. 

“I mean, even if is consensual,” Maya continued. “It’s still going to affect your career more than it does his, especially now that you’re pregnant. You have to know how this looks, to the team, and especially to people outside of the station. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have done it but did you consider that-“

“Look,” Vic cur Maya off and sat up straugh. “If I didn’t want to be pregnant, I wouldn’t be. I’m not stupid, I know _exactly_ how this looks. I know what other people are going to say, that Frankel and everyone else is going to have something to say about it. I don’t need you to remind me of what this means for my career, Maya. I made this choice, okay? And I’m not sorry about it.” Her tone came out harsher than intended. 

Maya visibly flinched a little. 

“Wow, okay, mama bear,” Travis said with a little chuckle. 

Vic gave him a little smile. 

Maya huffed. “I’m sorry,” she said earnestly. “I shouldn’t have said it like that.”

(Vic noted that Maya wasn’t apologizing for what she said,only how she said it, and Vic knew that Maya was still going to approach her about it later, but at least she wasn’t doing it in front of the team. Maya cares, and sometimes she was too passionate about it.)

“I understand,” Vic said. “Thanks for looking out for me. Any other questions or comments?” She asked. 

“I don’t like this,” Andy said. “But as long as everything is consensual and you two talk to Human Relations, then it’s your choice. But I do have one question: how the hell did Gibson know out of everyone?” 

Vic blushed. “Uh, I asked Gibson for advice about a one night stand and I forgot to change Ripley’s name on my caller ID and he called and Gibson figured it out.” 

“And you’ve been keeping this a secret this entire time?” Montgomery asked. “That’s seriously impressive for you, Vic,” he said.

Vic smiled at the underhanded compliment. “Thanks… I think?” 

Travis smiled back. “I don’t like this either,” he said seriously. “But it’s your choice, and I’m here for you.” 

“Same,” Miller agreed. “And I’ll kick his ass if you need me to.” 

“I think Gibson has that part covered,” Warren piped up. “And I did the whole boss- subordinate thing,” he continued. “I get it. It’s not easy, but you don’t choose who you fall in love with.” 

(Vic wouldn’t say that she was _in love_ with Ripley. They hardly knew each other despite the fact that they were having Bean, and Vic didn’t fall in love easy, but it was the sentiment that l counted.) 

“Thanks, Warren,” she said. 

The team glanced to Maya.

Maya blew a breath out slowly. “I don’t like this, at all,” she said. “But as long as you know what you’re doing-“ 

“I do,” Vic said sharply. 

“Then I support you,” Maya said. “I’ve got your back, no matter what. And if anyone has shit to say about you, then I’ll kick their ass. We stick together.” 

“Damn straight,” Andy added. 

Vic breathed a sigh of relief. Her team supported her, their personal opinions aside, and that’s all that Vic could ask for. 

“Oh, and before I forget,” Travis piped up. “Miller, stop trying to sneak your laundry in with mine. I know that since Gibson’s gone you have no one to do your laundry for you, but you should probably do yours on your own, or just put it in Warren’s basket.” 

“Hey,” Warren protested, and the table erupted into its usual chatter.

Vic grinned. This was good. Things were good, and Vic could only hope that they stayed that way. 

-X- 

“What’d you do?” Mum asked as soon as she opened the door to her apartment. 

“Good morning to you too, Mum,” Lucas said as he wrapped his Mum into a tight hug. 

“You called me and said that we needed to talk about something that couldn’t be discussed over the phone,” Mum responded, stepping aside so that she could let Lucas in. “I can only assume you’ve done something. Lemme guess: you either lost your job, you’ve killed someone, or you got someone pregnant.” 

Lucas paled. 

“You got someone pregnant, didn’t you?” Mum said as she settled onto her couch. She fixed Lucas with a stern look. 

Lucas sighed and rubbed his beard. “I got someone pregnant,” he said. 

Mum narrowed her eyes. “That’s not all, is it?” She asked. “Did you lose your job too?” 

Lucas rubbed his beard again. Was he this transparent. “I might,” Lucas answered. “I don’t know yet. The woman I got pregnant is a firefighter in the department.” 

“A firefighter,” Mom said slowly, drawing the word out. “As in she has no rank at all?” 

Lucas shook his head and sighed again. 

“What the hell, Lucas?” Mum demanded. “I raised you better than this.” 

“It was consensual,” Lucas clarified before his mum completely lost it on him. “I would have _never_ done anything if it wasn’t. But I admit that I didn’t use my best judgment in the situation.” 

“Damn straight,” Mum replied. “Did you have a few kangaroos loose in the paddock?” 

Lucas almost chuckled at his Mum’s use of Aussie slang, but a stern look from her made it abundantly clear that she was dead serious. 

“I didn’t make the best choice,” Lucas reiterated. 

“Well,” Mum said with a sigh. “You didn’t make the best choice, but you don’t have a time machine so you can’t change it. You got a woman pregnant, and right now the best choice you can make is to be in your child’s life and to support the mother of your child.” Mum sighed. “I can’t say that I’m happy with this situation. I don’t like the power imbalance with this, not at all. But right now, you’ve got bigger things to worry about than rank.”

“I’m going to be a dad in six months,” Lucas said. No matter how many times he said it, the news often felt too big to wrap his head around. 

Mum’s face softened. “I’m going to be a grandma again,” she said with a smile. “And all this time I figured you were just never going to give me grandbabies.” 

Lucas smiled at his mum.

“How are you feeling about all this?” Mum asked. “It’s a lot to take in.”

Lucas stared at his Mum. He loved her, and he wanted to make her proud. She had been the best parent that Lucas could’ve asked for. She raised four kids alone while grieving her husband, and Lucas couldn’t imagine the amount of strength and determination that took. Parenting seemed daunting. It seemed… “I’m scared,” Lucas said. And it was the first time that he had admitted his fears about parenting out loud. “I’m scared that I’m not going to know what to do. I’m scared that I’m not going to be a good father for my kid.”

“Oh, Luke,” Mum said. “We are all scared. That’s the hallmark of parenting. And I didn’t know what I was doing. I just tried my best to give you kids the life you deserved. Parenting is like being on a roller coaster except it’s backwards and you’re blindfolded. You’re a good man, Lucas, and the fact you’re concerned about being a good father means you’ve already got a good foundation for parenting. You’ve got this.” 

“I love you, Mum,” Lucas said, wrapping his Mum into a hug. 

Mum smiled. “I love you too, Luke,” she said. “Even if I do think you didn’t think things through.” She thumped him on the head.

“I know,” Lucas said, rubbing his beard. “We’re going to talk to HR soon. Hopefully, everything goes well.” 

Mum smiled sympathetically. “It’ll work out,” she said. 

Lucas glanced at his watch. “I should probably start heading back. I’m on my dinner break and I wanted to drop by, but I have to be back at the office in twenty minutes.” He gave his Mum another hug. 

“You’d better call me,” Mum said. “Sophie calls me every single day. That’s why she’s my favorite.” 

“Sophie doesn’t work 24 hour shifts in a high stress environment,” Lucas replied. 

“All the more reason you should be calling me,” Mum said. “Call me. Oh, and let me know what theme you’re doing for the nursery so that I can start working on a blanket. You can never start these things too early.” 

“I’ll be sure to ask Hughes if she has any nursery ideas for a baby that we don’t even know the sex of,” Lucas said ironically. 

“Thanks,” Mum said, ignoring the sarcasm in his voice. “This is why you’re my favorite.” 

Lucas laughed. “Didn’t you just say Soph was your favorite?” 

Mum shook her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Lucas. Now, go to work before you’re late.” 

Lucas laughed. “I love you, Mum,” he said. 

“Love you too,” Mum called out as Lucas walked out the door. 

Talking to his Mum has gone well. She was upset about the circumstances, as was expected, but she was happy to be a grandmother again, and that was all that Lucas could ask for. Telling his siblings would be easier, even if Sophie and Olivia were going to judge the everloving shit out of him. And Vic had texted him to let him know that telling Station 19 had gone surprisingly well. But telling his parents, siblings, and even Station 19 was the easy part. 

Telling HR was going to be an entirely different story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, next week's chapter might be a lil late because i have a conference all week next week. I should be able to finish and edit, but idk. I'll probably post an update to my tumblr. 
> 
> Speaking of tumblr, I'm cyrus-breeze over there so come say hi. I'm also trying to host/plan a Station 19 theme week and there's information for that there. 
> 
> The themes are as follows: 
> 
> Please feel free to submit anything Station 19 related. While the fandom has mostly been focused on Vicley, II owuld love to see things from ships like Sullivandy, Randy, or Jandy as well as Montgomery/Grant, or any fics featuring characters but no ships.
> 
> Any submission is cool: fics, gifsets, fanvids, art, photo manips, edits, and more. It’s all free game! Let’s give this fandom a more robust body of fanwork.
> 
> Sunday, January 13th- Fuel, Heat, Oxygen, Chemical Chain Reaction
> 
> (Pre-Canon or Pre-Relationship)
> 
> Whether it’s how Sullivan and Ripley became friends, why Andy and Jack initially fell in love, or its a fic about Ripley’s thoughts on Vic yelling at him, Sunday is the day for things that happened before Station 19 canon or before a relationship was officially established on the show.
> 
> Monday, January 14th- Zoning
> 
> Monday is all about boundaries. Whether it’s forgiveness amongst friends, defining a relationship, or working out familial issues.
> 
> Tuesday, January 15th- External Review
> 
> Tuesday is dedicated to team dynamics and other fun stuff. It’s a great day for things like Frankel finding out about Vicley or team dinner and teasing
> 
> Wednesday, January 16th- Freelancing
> 
> (Author’s Choice)
> 
> You can choose one of the prompts or write something that is completely your own.
> 
> Thursday, January 17th- Extrication
> 
> TGIT Crossovers/AU
> 
> Whether you want a Grey’s crossover or a Vicley Scandal AU, Thursday is dedicated to Shondaland and the many ways that it has destroyed our souls.
> 
> Friday, January 18th- Flashover
> 
> (Hurt/Comfort)
> 
> From physical injuries to near death experiences to emotionally tough calls, Friday is dedicated to destroying our poor little souls. All the angst. ALL. OF. IT.
> 
> Saturday, January 19th- Afterburn
> 
> Friday is dedicated to fluffy fics that will heal out broken hearts. Whether is a future fic or just something soft and fluffy, Friday is the day for posting stuff that will give us cavities.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. I was at a Leadership conference from Sunday until Friday and we had 13-16 hour days learning about leadership. It's exhausting. 
> 
> And then I got some upsetting news on Sunday so that happened. 
> 
> So, now this chapter is here. Yay! It kinda got away from me and went its own way, but I like it. I felt like giving some arcs a reprieve and giving both my characters a reprieve from the hell I've put them through lately. 
> 
> This chapter was brought to you by discovering dark chocolate brownies in a mug, chicken enchilada casserole, forgetting to purchase juice at the grocery store, and um, trying to write while at a campground, which isn't fun. That's for sure. 
> 
> As always, this is unbeta'd so if there's any issues please don't hesitate to hit me up.
> 
> Trigger Warnings: reference to past racism

“Is this dad?” Dr. Deluca asked when she walked into the room. 

Vic nodded. 

“I’m Lucas Ripley,” Ripley said, standing up and sticking out his hand for Dr. Deluca to shake. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Ripley,” Dr. Deluca said. “I’m Victoria’s primary physician for her pregnancy.” 

Ripley nodded and then settled back into the chair. 

Dr. Deluca busied herself with washing her hands.

Vic carefully stuck out her hand and grabbed Ripley’s fingers, intertwining them slowly with their own. 

They were taking this relationship slowly, which was kind backwards, given that Vic was already pregnant.

“Today,” Dr. Deluca began. “We are going to check the heartbeat and hopefully find out the baby’s sex if they’re cooperating today. We’ll also look for any abnormalities on the ultrasound.” 

Ripley squeezed Vic’s hand. 

“That sounds good,” she said. 

“The gel is cold,” Dr. Deluca warmed. 

She did the Doppler first, rolling it around Vic’s stomach until she heard the loud thudding of the baby’s heartbeat. 

It was comforting to Vic, having heard it twice before, but it was Ripley’s first time hearing it. 

Vic turned to Ripley. His eyes were welling up with tears as he listened to the sound. Vic felt a sudden flash of guilt about not having told him sooner. 

He looked so damned happy. “It’s so fast,” he said quietly.

“One hundred thirty beats per minute,” Dr. Deluca said with a smile. “That’s a very healthy heart rate.”

“Are you guys wanting to find out the sex?” Dr. Deluca asked as she switched off the fetal heart monitor. 

Vic looked to Ripley. He nodded. 

“We’d like to know,” Vic said. 

Dr. Deluca smiled and they switched machines. She turned on her computer screen and began scanning Vic’s stomach. 

Dr. Deluca hummed for a moment. “Everything looks good,” she said, turning the screen to face the two of them. “Your baby is growing properly and it seems that they have all structures in tact. Their heart rate sounds good, and there’s currently so reason to suggest a risk of fetal abnormality. And if you look right there...” Dr. Deluca pointed at Bean’s legs. 

“It’s a boy,” Ripley said breathlessly. 

“That’s correct,” Dr. Deluca confirmed.. “It looks like the two of you guys are having a little boy.” 

Vic grinned. Bean was a boy. Her baby was a little boy. She was going to have a son. They were going to have a son. 

She turned to Lucas, who was crying in earnest now. 

He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. 

“We’re having a boy,” he whispered. 

“I know,” Vic said with a grin, her own eyes watering. “That’s our son.”

Watching Ripley react to the news of a boy was incredible. Vic hadn’t had a preference for one sex over the other, but knowing that Bean was a boy made everything feel more real. She was going to have a son in 22 weeks. 

Vic smiled. This was good. Things were good.

-X- 

Vic was tired of the busy work that working the front desk provided. It was menial, answering phone calls and scheduling preschool field trips and dealing with medical walk-ins, but it was mostly boring, and Vic often found her mind and hands wondering, like they were right now, where she was checking her personal email instead of working. 

She didn’t have too many email in her inbox, so she scrolled through them fairly quickly, deleting the junk and spam email that had made it through the filters. Her finger paused on an email from Madison Richards, the social worker who handled her adoption. The subject line read: New Information Available. 

“Hey!”

Vic jumped in her chair. 

“Are you okay?” Maya asked, eyeing Vic carefully. 

“I’m fine,” Vic said quickly, exiting out of the tab with her email. She could check later. 

Maya gave her a skeptical look. “You seemed out of it,” she said. 

“I’m just tired,” Vic said. “Pregnancy brain and stuff.” 

Maya smiled sympathetically and Vic knew she wasn’t getting off that easy. 

“Was it what I said?” Maya pressed. “I wasn’t trying to be mean, just honest, and I know I can come off too harshly-” 

“It wasn’t you,” Vic cut her off. Maya had been unflinchingly honest, but she hadn’t said anything that Vic hadn’t been thinking, so it hadn’t had that much of an affect on her mood. Maya cared, and sometimes she had a weird way of showing it. 

“Then what’s been up with you lately,” Maya began. She paused. “This has been going on for awhile actually, your weird change in mood. What’s wrong, really?” 

Vic shrugged. “I’m just stressed,” she said. “There’s a lot going on right now.” 

“I’ve known you for two years, Vic,” Maya said. “I’ve never seen you act like this, even after blue fire. Something’s really bothering you.” 

Vic remained quiet. She didn’t want to divulge the dirty details of her past to Maya, not when Vic was still wading through that lake of feelings. 

“Did you come up here for a reason or just to harass me?” Vic snarked, feeling a spark of irritation rise within her. 

Maya flinched. “Fine,” she said. “I won’t pressure you into saying anything. I kinda wanted advice and i don’t really know who else to ask. You have siblings, right?” 

Vic nodded. “I have six of them.” 

“That’s what I thought,” Maya said. She paused. “Wait, you have _six_ siblings?” 

Vic chuckled. “I’ve mentioned this on multiple occasions,” she said. “It was even my fun fact when I introduced myself on my first week here. How many siblings did you think I had?” 

“Like two,” Maya replied. “Maybe three? Anyway…” Maya continued. “Hypothetically: say that one of your siblings is happy and healthy, but he, or she, is not in a good place. And say that you were fine with it now, but your parents are putting an increasing amount of pressure on you to do something. And you want to respect your brother… or your sister’s autonomy, but you’re also concerned about their behavior.” 

Vic sighed. “That’s an oddly specific hypothetical question that I happen to have experience with, which makes it more weird. My oldest brother is a year older than me. He moved to LA for college, and a year later I graduated and also ended up in LA. My parents wanted me to spy on my brother and figure out whether or not he was doing drugs, which, he was. I told them. They got him into treatment, and he did not get better. He also didn’t talk to me for a year after that, and I don’t blame him. I violated his trust, and there was a reason he wasn’t discussing things with my parents. And he did, eventually, get better on his own time and at his own pace. And I gained his trust back and stood by him as a friend without saying a word to my parents. I don’t know what your brother is doing, but you need to ask yourself whether you’re doing this for you or for your parents. Because if you genuinely care and he knows that, he’ll get it, but if you’re just spying, then he’s probably going to be rightfully pissed.” 

Maya sighed. “So if I’m concerned for him, then I just shouldn’t involve my parents with it?” 

“I mean, it’s your choice, but speaking from experience, involving your parents kinda makes you an ass,” Vic replied. 

“That might be the best advice you’ve ever given me. How’d you get all wise and stuff?” Maya asked. 

“Hey!” Vic said defensively. “I’ve always been brilliant You’ve just never asked me for sound advice and it shows.” 

“See!” Maya said with a laugh. “That’s the Vic we’ve been missing! You always speak your mind and crack jokes. I miss that. Travis’s humor is too dry, Sullivan and Andy don’t joke, Miller and Cohen are too dirty, and Warren tries too hard. It’s almost sad.”

Vic’s face fell a little. She hadn’t considered that her personality had changed over the past few weeks. The stress and little things were starting to add up, leading to her feeling less confident. 

The klaxon sounded, jolting Vic from her thoughts. 

“Aid Car 19. Possible man down . 345 Oak St.” 

“That’s me,” Maya said, hopping off the counter. “Just think about what I said, okay?” 

“You too,” Vic replied. “Good luck with your brother.” 

“Thanks,” Maya said. She turned and left. 

Vic sighed and turned back to her computer. Had she changed that much. She opened her email, itching to see what new information entailed. 

Good Afternoon Victoria: 

We were going through our birth parent files earlier and we found an envelope that we forgot to give to you with the remainder of your paperwork. It contains a letter from your birth mother. Please give me a call if you’d like to stop by my office and pick it up. 

Vic’s hands were on her cellphone before she even finished reading Madison’s signature. 

-X-

It had taken everything in Vic not to tear open the letter in the middle of Madison’s office, but she wanted to read it in the privacy of her own home. 

Vic had found her baby box, which was a box filled with trinkets from when she was born: her parents’ plane tickets, her hospital bracelet, her newborn photos, a copy of her footprints and other little things that her parents had added over the years. 

Vic hadn’t opened her box in years, but now, staring the the familiar items. She felt comforted. No matter what the contents of the letter. She was loved by her parents and she had her family, both the one she came from and the on the one that she found at the station. 

Vic slowly tore open the envelope, anxiety rising within her. She felt nothing beyond sheer terror. She pulled, the letter out, opened it, and began to read.

-X-

Dear Baby Girl, 

It feels weird to write this letter. Part of me can’t believe that it’s been twenty-one years. There’s another part of me that feels like it’s been so much longer. And I don’t know what’s actually right. 

All of the internet resources say to keep this under two pages, so I will try. 

I wanted to start this letter off by saying that you were loved. You _are_ loved. I cried when you were born. That’s probably the thing I remember the most about the days I spent with you. I shed a lot of tears. I remember that your eyes were hazel. The nurse told me that they were probably going to get darker. You had a head full of curly hair, and you were the tiniest baby that I had ever seen. And I loved you instantly. 

I wanted to explain why I decided to place you guys, both of you. There were a lot of factors. With you, I was 23, in my second year of law school. I had no family or close friends, and I had no money, support system, or resources to be a parent. Becoming a parent was never really in my plan. I liked kids well enough, but I never really thought I could be a parent. I didn’t have good role models as a kid. I wanted you to have two stable parents who could provide you with what I couldn’t. I wanted you and your brother to stay together and to always have each other. I love you both beyond words and I want you to know that I never forgot about you. 

You’re probably also wondering about your father. Your father was a professor at my school, and that’s where things get messy and a little complicated. He was a young professor and a law prodigy. I was smitten, and I maybe spent too much time in his office hours. I don’t know what your parents or your adoption paperwork told you about him, but the reality is probably different than what was portrayed. 

It’s complicated to explain by letter, but I want you to have this information, whether you choose to reach out to me or not. Your dad initially denied paternity and refused to sign your birth certificate or adoption papers, which was extremely upsetting for me. Just under a month after you were born, your dad reached out to me and asked to meet. We met at a coffee shop and he apologized for his behavior. I can’t explain exactly what he did because I’m not him, and I’m not saying that I agree with what he did or how he did it. But what he said to me will always stick with me. He looked me in the eye and said, “I couldn’t acknowledge the baby because if I did, I would want to keep her, and I couldn’t do that to you.” He asked for photos, and I made copies and gave him several. He reached out to me a few years ago on your birthday and we talked. Apparently he keeps a picture of you on his wall, and his kids know about you. Last I heard, he still lives in Palo Alto and he’s married with a son and a daughter. 

But, I suppose that I should tell you more about me. After you were born, I transferred law schools and moved to Colorado. It was an extremely risky decision, transferring after my 2nd year, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. My best friend had been diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer, and I wanted to be there for her. She was the only l family I had left. She died just after I graduated law school. I got a job with a law firm in Washington, D.C. and I moved shortly after her funeral. That was where your brother was born. 

His story is his own, so I won’t explain the circumstances of his conception or anything. 

I suppose I should backtrack and tell you a little about my history. I was born in Los Angeles, and I grew up in the foster care system. I aged out at 18. I had a few close friends from my last group home, and we’ve remained friends over the years. 

I currently work at a law firm in DC. I’ve been married for 17 years to my husband. He has one daughter from a previous marriage, but she was almost in college by the time I became her stepmother. We’re pretty good friends. 

My husband and I both enjoy travel and we both travel a lot for work. As far as hobbies go, I’ve always enjoyed music. I sung a little in elementary school, but I didn’t stick with it. My husband and I enjoy seeing Broadway shows. Beyond music, I also enjoy writing and journaling, and I try to journal almost every night. 

I’ve enclosed a photograph of photograph of myself and my husband when we visited New York City about a year ago. 

I don’t want you to feel pressured to reach out to me. That’s completely your choice and I understand that your feelings about this are probably extremely complex. I hope this letter did answer some of the questions that you have. 

I have included my contact information, including an email address if you wish to reach out. 

Signed,  
Sandra Lewis-Ross  
sandra.lewis.ross@yahoo.com 

-X-

Victoria’s hands shook as she finished the letter. Her cheeks were streaked with tears, and she knew that the pregnancy hormones coursing through her weren’t the sole source of blame. 

For the past nine weeks, Vic had felt as if there was something sitting on her chest. Even after telling Ripley and learning that he was okay with everything. He wasn’t abandoning Bean, wasn’t denying paternity, wasn’t going to destroy Vic’s career, she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

She hadn’t been herself lately. Her thoughts and emotions were consumed with fear of history repeating itself. But history wasn’t as clear as Vic had initially assumed. 

It was messy. It was complicated. It was compounded by so many other factors that Vic hadn’t even thought to consider. 

She had let fear rule over her during her pregnancy. The very idea of Ripley rejecting her, rejecting their baby, was enough to spur her into hiding for six weeks. The overwhelming fear of history repeating herself was enough to make Vic stress and anxious near constantly. Six months ago, Vic wouldn’t have cared what anyone in the department had to say with what she did with her personal life, but now, her anxiety made it so that the biggest thing on her mind was what was going to happen when she and Lucas told human relations about their relationship. 

She should have been focused on her son, on the fact that she was going to be a parent in less than five months, but instead she had been consumed by what had happened 26 years ago. 

The situation was messy, that much was certain. Vic’s dad wasn’t at all what he had initially seemed. It was still wrong, what he had done to Vic’s birth mom, leaving her alone and refusing to acknowledge paternity, but Vic knew now the fears that came along with becoming a parent. She understood the terror combined with overwhelming feeling of love. Hell, if someone had told her that she had to give Bean away at birth, she would’ve detached herself from the situation as well. Vic had already made a questionable decision as a parent: trying to hide her pregnancy in order to protect Bean (and herself) from rejection, even if it meant hiding from the truth. 

She also understood her birth mom. She was in her shoes, dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and balancing the aftermath of a relationship with her superior. But things were different. She was different. Ripley was different. Ripley was here. Ripley cared about them, the both of them. Their fun, carefree relationship had been messy and complicated, but that didn’t mean that those feelings didn’t exist. If anything, Ripley’s reaction to her hiding her pregnancy for six weeks was proof that he cared about her, at least enough to not get angry and to try to see things from her perspective. 

Vic had never been anything more than slightly curious about her origins. She didn’t yearn for them like Santiago, and she wasn’t completely apathetic like Zach, but it was always just something that she sometimes considered. It was just another fact of life like the fact that she was mixed or that she had six siblings or that she lived in Bellevue, Washington. She hadn’t cared until she was in her birth mom’s same shoes, and the thoughts seemed to permeate her when she realized how similar the two of them really were. 

But they were different. They were different people in different situations with different lives and different support systems. 

Vic knew that she was going to run into trouble with the fire department, but she had been dealing with naysayers since her days in the academy, and she had never let the fear of what people might say stop her from achieving what she wanted, and right now, she wanted to be a awesome mom and a good firefighter. 

Vic stared at the letter, at the tiny droplets of tears that had fell on the edges of the page. 

Her phone buzzed and Vic drew a deep, shaky breath before she glanced at it. 

It was a text from Ripley. 

_Can I come over?_ It read. 

That had been their tradition lately. If neither of them had work, then Lucas usually came over to her house. Most of the time, one of them was sleeping, but occasionally they would watch a movie on netflix or share a meal together. Lucas was always check on Vic and Bean, making sure that Vic felt okay and that she wasn’t under too much stress. Ripley cared. 

_Yes_ , Vic replied. _My door is open_. 

Vic took a deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. She started to sob. 

-X- 

Lucas knew something was wrong the moment that he walked through Hughes door. She was sitting on her living room floor, and there were several things spread around the coffee table: photos, frayed plane tickets, hospital bracelets, several photos, and more. 

“Are you okay?” Lucas asked softly. 

Hughes stared up at him, her eyes shining with tears. “I really love our son,” she said. 

“That’s not all, is it?” Lucas asked, sitting next to her on the floor. 

“I was wrong,” Hughes said, pointing to a letter on the edge of the table. “My birth dad didn’t hate me and my birth mom didn’t move because he made her life miserable.” Vic hiccuped. 

Lucas didn’t know how to respond to that. 

“I’ve been internalizing this,” Hughes continued. “And I’ve really been letting it get to me and letting it affect what I’ve been doing and saying. I mean, I pulled away from you and I pulled away from the team because of this.” Hughes wiped furiously at her eyes.

“This is a lot for anyone to deal with,” Lucas said softly. “Much less someone who finds themselves in a similar situation.” 

Hughes buried her face in his chest and Lucas gently rubbed her back. 

“I know,” Hughes said, and Lucas could feel her words buzzing on his chest. “It’s a lot for me to deal with, but I feel like I lost part of myself by internalizing all of this.” Hughes pulled away slightly, shifting so that she and Lucas were still close, but she was no longer leaning against his chest. Lucas rubbed her back. 

“You know I was six years old the first time I was called the n-word?” Hughes said. 

And Lucas _definitely_ didn’t know how to respond to that.

But Hughes continued before Lucas could think of a response. “I punched the kid who called me that so hard that I broke his nose. I got suspended for three days, and my mom bought me ice cream on one of those days. And I remember that we were sitting in the ice cream shop with my mom and I remember telling my mom that it wasn’t my fault that I punched him because he made me feel so angry and so _small_. And my mom said, ‘What he did was wrong, without a doubt. And what he said _is_ wrong. People are always going to be wrong and they are going to be cruel. But, Vicky, no one can make you feel angry or inferior unless you give them permission.’ And I decided right then that I wasn’t going to live my life by other people’s expectations of me or in fear of what they might say. Six year old me had the courage to make that choice, and I think she’d be embarrassed of me right now.”

“Six year old you also didn’t understand complex situations,” Lucas replied. “This would be overwhelming to anyone in your shoes. That’s for sure.”

“But six year old me didn’t care about complex situations,” Hughes returned. “She didn’t care about what other people thought about her, and she didn’t care what other people had to say. I haven’t been myself lately. I’ve been living in this bubble of fear about what you were going to say and then what the team was going to say and now what HR is going to say. And that’s not fair to myself or to you or to Bean. I mean, I’ve never been scared to speak my mind, but I’ve spent the last two and a half months being afraid to tell people things.” 

Lucas chuckled softly. 

At Vic’s curious stare, he sobered and smiled. 

“You’re right,” he said. “You’ve never been scared to speak, or, uh, yell your mind.” 

“I apologized,” Hughes said lightly. 

“For only one of those instances,” Lucas shot back. 

“But I was right about 23,”came Hughes’s retort.

Hughes was indeed right about 23. Her takedown of systemic issues had been brilliant. “You were,” Lucas admitted . “But 23 has had issues for years. It’s going to take some time to build them up.” Lucas sighed. “Your analysis was brilliant though.” 

“Arguing is in my blood, quite literally actually,” Hughes said, laughing. “I’ve got both nature and nurture covered. Both of my biological parents were lawyers, my dad does corporate law, and my mom was an environmental lawyer for ten years before she decided to stay home with us. Arguing was pretty much how we showed affection.” 

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind next time you yell at me,” Lucas joked. 

Hughes smiled. “We should tell HR soon,” she said. “The faster we get this all behind us, the better.”

“We should tell them soon,” Lucas agreed. “But we can talk about this tomorrow,” he said. “When you’re not on an emotional high from this.” 

Hughes nodded, and Lucas breathed a small sigh of relief. (He wasn’t dumb. Sometimes telling women they were _too emotional_ to deal with something had consequences.) 

“We should watch a movie,” she said. “But not a Disney movie. I prefer that the characters have living parents or I think I might cry again.” 

“Wanna watch Toy Story?” Lucas suggested. 

Hughes grinned at him. “That’s still a Disney movie, but I’d like that.” 

“Disney-Pixar” Lucas corrected. He crouched down to put his head near Vic’s stomach. Hear that Bean?” Lucas said. “You’re going to get introduced to the best Disney movie of all time.” 

“That’s debatable,” Hughes said. 

“It’s the best,” Lucas replied. “But I wouldn’t mind if you argued that to show affection,” he teased. 

Hughes rolled her eyes. 

He grinned and grabbed the remote from the coffee table. Hughes was grinning, her hand on her stomach, and she looked beautiful. It felt incredible: watching a movie with his girlfriend and son, talking to Vic’s bump. Lucas wanted to live in this moment forever, but he knew that reality was quickly settling in. They would have to disclose their relationship to HR, and that would change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme tell you. I've known Bean was a boy since I started writing this fic. Staying away from gendered language was near impossible. Little guy already has multiple pinterest boards dedicated to him. 
> 
> Anyway, please leave a review. Today was the first day of the second semester of my sophomore year of college and I'm already beyond exhausted. I'm also one of the only nerds in the library on the first day of classes. LOLOL. Please comment. They give me life and school is sucking my soul from my body.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Super sorry this is late. The semester started on Monday and I am regretting every decision I've ever made. I'm taking 18 credit hours, I'm in leadership within 3 student orgs, and I also have work study. Add in the fact that I'm already drowning in homework and let me just say that it has been rough. Luckily, I have Monday off so I'm going to dedicate that to relaxing and ignoring my responsibilities. 
> 
> 2\. I hope the wait is made up for in how fucking long this chapter in. Google docs says it's just over 8k. I'm still convinced that i accidentally command+copy, command+paste somewhere and that this is all an accident and it's really closer to like 5k or some other reasonable number, you know. 
> 
> 3\. Because of how long this is, editing was a real pain in the ass. I apologize for any mistakes in advance. I feel like there's many. 
> 
> 3a. (Speaking of mistakes. If anyone finds continuity errors, let me know. I reread the story and still feel like I'm forgetting something.) 
> 
> 4\. Time is speeding up in this universe. This chapter and the next one both involve some minor time skips.
> 
>  **5.** There is some smut in this chapter.This story is rated as such. I've marked the smut with "-X-" and you can tell where it begins and ends if that's not your cup of tea. 
> 
> 5a. Bless my beautiful best friend for editing my smut and making it more appealing. Seriously, my bug deserves all the awards.  
>  ~~5b. Bonus points if you can find the kink I have that I tried to hide.~~
> 
> 6\. This chapter was brought to you by me sitting in the library for six hours working on this fic and lowkey forgetting that time exists. (Where did the sun go??)
> 
> 7\. I’m not a lawyer nor an HR rep. My law school friend and my corporate community major friend were of very little support and assistance. So any mistakes regarding the convo with hr are all mine

“I’ve been thinking,” Lucas said.

Vic looked up from her spot on the couch. The two of them were watching television, although neither of them were paying much attention to the tv. Lucas was working on paperwork and Vic was reading a book, though it was far more interesting to observe Ripley as he worked. He was beautiful, but watching him concentrate on his work felt almost intimate. He was completely focused, his eyes not leaving him laptop for a moment, except for now, Ripley was staring at her, his blue eyes boring into her brown ones.

"About what?" Vic asked, curious.

"Uhhh," Ripley hummed and then rubbed his beard.

"Spit it out, Ripley," Vic teased.

Ripley sighed. "I kind of want you to call me Lucas, especially when we're not at work. I mean, we're having a kid together, so like, I guess I think it's a little weird that we're not on a first name basis. You don't have to call me Lucas if you don't want to, I was just saying-"

"I can do that," Vic said quickly. 

Ripley’s face relaxed.

"It might take some getting used to you, but I can call you Lucas,” Vic continued. “That is, if you call me Vic or Victoria. It's only fair. We are in fact having a kid together."

"Luke works too," Rip-Lucas added. "That's what my family called me when I was younger."

“You know,” Vic said, suddenly curious. She closed her book and placed it on the coffee table. She could finish later. “You don’t talk about your childhood a lot.”

Lucas sighed. Then he clicked something on his computer and shut his laptop. He placed it on the coffee table in front of them. “What do you want to know?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” Vic shrugged. She didn’t know much about Lucas’s past: he was born in Australia, he moved to the states when he was younger, his father had died when he was a kid, and his mom had raised him as a single parent, but beyond that, Vic knew next to nothing about Lucas’s early life. “How old were you when you moved here?”

“I was nine,” Lucas replied. “It was less than six months after Dad died. My Dad was originally from the United States, but he moved to Australia for work after he graduated college. He married mum and they decided to stay in Australia. My maternal grandparents passed before I was born, and after Dad died, my dad’s parents invited Mum to come live with them. I’ve lived in Seattle or the surrounding areas ever since.”

“How many siblings do you have?” Vic asked.

“I have three,” Lucas replied. “Henry and Sophie are older than me and Olivia is the youngest.”

“Do they live in the area?” Vic asked, pressing a little. She was curious, and Lucas knew more about her siblings did she did about his entire family.

“Olivia lives on Mercer Island, she’s a social worker," Lucas replied. “Sophie lives in Olympia, and she’s an accountant. Henry lives in Anchorage, Alaska, and he does civil engineering. My mum still lives in Seattle, though, so Henry and Soph visit often. It’s nice, but we were super close as kids, so I wished they lived closer.”

"I know that feeling," Vic said. "My siblings are spread all across the country, so we're rarely ever all together."

"I guess that's just what happens when you grow up." Lucas rubbed his beard. "My childhood was pretty normal for the most part, except for my dad, and I can’t that. It is what it is."

Vic smiled at him. He wasn't ready to share the nitty and gritty of his childhood, and Vic wasn't going to force him. He would tell her when he wanted to, when he felt most comfortable. That was the thing about Rip-Lucas, he compartmentalized, and Vic knew that sharing his feelings didn't come easy.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of them.

Vic sighed after a moment. They needed to address the elephant in the room. It was well past time for them to do so, and the longer they waited the worse it would be. Vic was at peace about it, whatever the outcome, but waiting for the outcome was what was killing her slowly .

“So, about HR, when are we going to tell them?” Vic asked.

Lucas looked up. Vic could tell by the way that his eyebrows were furrowed that he had already considered this. “I was thinking Monday morning,” he said. “I’m not on duty but I’m on call in case of emergency. I figure it’s best to do this during a time when I'm not likely to be called away but I also don’t have meetings or paperwork scheduled.”

Vic nodded. The timing made sense, and she had Monday off. “So they’re going to interview both of us, then what?”

Lucas rubbed his beard, (something that Vic had noticed was almost a compulsive habit. She meant to ask Lucas about that one day. The majority of firefighter didn't have beards, because it interfered with their SCBA gear, but Lucas rarely went into buildings.) “Probably talk to Sullivan, Gibson, and the rest of team from 19,” Lucas replied. "They'll want a well rounded explanation from as many people as possible."

“And after that?” Vic prodded. She had read and reread her employee handbook. They didn't provide much information for what happened after an employee relationship was reported to Human Relations.

“HR will write up report and will deliver us each a copy," Lucas said. "If they decide to deliver disciplinary action via probation, suspension, or formal reprimand, it will be written in the report. For demotions and terminations, they'll likely have to bring that to the mayoral council," Lucas continued. "We probably won’t be able to talk for a few days, until they finish conducting interviews. They want to make sure that I’m not influencing you."

"We can't talk at all?" Vic asked. "They go that far?" 

“They take any and all claims very seriously," Lucas said. "And they should. I understand the necessity of a non-contact order, even if I don't like it."  
“I’m thankful for it too," Vic replied quickly. "I get it, and I appreciate it, but I don't like that we won't be able to communicate."

“It’s only for a few days, until HR publishes an official disciplinary report, then we’re good to go,” Lucas said. "At least, I hope we are."

"It will be okay," Vic said.

“Whatever happens,” Lucas began. “If I lose my job or get demoted or anything, I want you to know that it’s not your fault and I will support you and Bean no matter what.”

“Thank you,” Vic said. "The same goes for you. If I have to deal with any repercussions, I won't hold it against you." Vic paused, trying to figure out how to phrase her next question. “Are we telling them everything?” She asked finally.

Lucas nodded. “We need to be as honest as possible. If anything else gets out, it will look like we had something to hide, and given the circumstances, the whole truth is our best bet. Except..." Lucas trailed off.

"Except what?" Vic asked.

"We probably shouldn’t mention what happened during the storm," Lucas's cheeks went a little red. "Sexual contact during work hours at the workplace is cause for automatic disciplinary action. It might escalate the punishment we receive. So, if you’re okay with not mentioning that… I don’t want to influence you.”

“I agree,” Vic replied, snickering. “We probably shouldn’t mention having sex at work while on duty.”

“Is there anything else you want to address?” Lucas asked.

“No,” Vic answered. She couldn't think of another thing she needed to know.

“Okay, so that’s settled,” Lucas said, clasping his hands together.  
“So, no contact for a minimum of 72 hours,” Vic clarified.

“Most likely,” Lucas said. “It may be shorter, but it won't be longer. We’ve got about 36 hours until that happens, so we’re free to do whatever we want until then."

Vic leaned across the couch and kissed the corner of Lucas’s mouth. Despite deciding (again) that they were going to try to take things slowly, Vic couldn't help her mood. She wanted Lucas, slow and steady be damned. “Well, I can think of one way to spend some of those thirty-six hours before we can’t communicate.”

-X-

After the incident in the kitchen where Lucas had decided to take things slow and then proceeded to nearly fuck Vic on her kitchen counter, they had come to an agreement to actually take things as they came. Not to rush. Nevertheless, Lucas was antsy, emotions running high.

And Victoria was… she was radiant. He had never understood the so called “pregnancy glow” until now. As she was now, Victoria was more stunning than she had ever been.

Victoria thumbed the bottom of his t-shirt, bringing him back to himself.

“No more slow?” Lucas asked, his tone teasing, hiding his barely hopefulness. He was a weak man, and he couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about it.

Victoria chuckled, her laugh light and airy. “No,” she said. “No more slow. Not right now.”

And Lucas didn’t have to be told twice. It was like a switch had been flicked on, and he kissed her with fervor, slipping his tongue into her mouth, biting at her lower lip.

Vic’s hands tugged at the hem of his shirt, and he pulled back just enough to help her remove it from his body.

“We should go to my bedroom,” Vic suggested, breathless, eyes bright with excitement.

“Are you sure you don’t want to move back to the kitchen counter?” Lucas teased.

Vic laughed again, and Lucas basked in the sound. “That was uncomfortable, I’m not going to lie.”

Lucas smirked. “Well if that’s the case…” Lucas moved forward and kissed Vic again. The sound she made was appreciative as she drew him, hand curled around his arm.

“Seriously,” she gasped out, pushing him away with a hand on his collarbone. “Bedroom. Now.” 

Lucas grinned and began the move for the two of them to get to Vic’s bedroom.

They fell onto the bed in a careless heap. Vic stripped herself of her tank top before she kissed him again. He kissed down her throat, gently sucking at the tender skin. He was careful not to leave marks, but just so. The sighs he took from her nearly contented him, made him want stay like this and just savor their close proximity.

Nearly. The heat spiked back up again, and he found himself teasing the skin of her collarbone with his teeth. Vic keened, tipping her head back. The column of her throat was left exposed, and the picture was completely stunning. Deft fingers unlatched her bra and removed it, tossing it haphazardly somewhere behind them to be forgotten.

Vic’s breasts were bigger than he last remembered. A common symptom of pregnancy, he’d read.

Vic’s fingers tangled themselves in his curls as he pressed a kiss to the top of her breast.

He tongued the tip of nipple and sucked gently.

Vic yanked at his hair, her grip tight. It was all Lucas could do not to cry out, only twisting his face up. She must have noticed, because even as her fingers stayed curled in his hair, her tugs were softer. The rhythm of it vaguely reminded him of a cat, tugging and releasing within seconds of each other. He switched breasts, mouthing at her nipple while using his hand to palm the first.

“Lucas,” Vic whined. It was the first time that she had actually called him Lucas without hesitation after he asked her to. The significance wasn’t lost on him in the least. “Please.”

“Please what?” he teased, pulling away from her nipple with a slight pop.  
“Please, Lucas,” Vic repeated. Her tone shook, breathlessness seeping into her voice.

Lucas could feel his cock hardening in his sweatpants. He grinned and pressed a kiss to the bottom of Vic’s breast before he began trailing kisses down her body.

Vic’s bump was growing, and it was slightly larger than Lucas had remembered it from the last time that he had seen it. 

She was so beautiful like this. He placed two, soft gentle kisses on her bump.  
Vic stroked his hair tenderly, and he looked up, resting his temple against her stomach.

“You look beautiful,” he said. And he meant it. She was stunning, and the fact that she was carrying his baby, their baby, made her all the more incredible. “You’re stunning.”

He popped the button of her jeans and slowly peeled them off of her, taking his time with them until she was bare before him.

Lucas slid off the bed and nudged her legs apart until she opened up for him, wrapping her legs around his shoulders. He teased her, nibbling on the inside of her thigh until she keened. His pulse raced, his cock throbbing in his pants.

He placed his hands on Vic’s hips and then lifted them slightly. The first press of his tongue was almost experimental. It had been months since they had slept together in her bed, and eating her out on her kitchen counter was astronomically different than eating her out in bed. He gave her another long, teasing lick and Vic’s thighs pressed against his ears.

“Lucas,” Vic whined.

It was all the inspiration he needed. He pressed a finger inside of Vic, curling it in just the right way until Vic unraveled, rewarding Lucas with a long groan.

Lucas sped up, adding another finger, thrusting them perfectly along with each swipe of his tongue. Vic’s legs tightened around Lucas’s head, and Lucas thought that he couldn’t stop, even if he wanted too. Not that there was any version of this moment wherein Lucas wanted to stop. Vic tasted incredible and was so responsive, her fingers curled in his hair, her legs keeping him close.

“Lucas,” Vic said, breathless. “I’m — shit, Lucas. Oh, my God—”

She was close, he knew it. He knew it in the same way that he knew when a fire was seconds away from flashover. He knew how Vic was before she came: babbling incoherently with jittery legs, body coiled tightly and ready to snap. This was that moment. He could feel it like he could smell rain.

“I’m close, Lucas,” Vic breathed out.

“I know,” Lucas said, acutely aware of how the buzzing of his mouth must have felt to Vic, the puff of his breath, the vibration of his words. His fingers pumping in and out with enthusiasm. He sucked gently on her clit, teasing her with her tongue. “I know, Victoria,” Lucas said against her folds. “Come for me. C’mon.”

All at once, Vic exploded, her legs tightened around his head and she tightened around his fingers. He rode her through it until she went slack. She released Lucas, and he pulled back, taking in the sight of Vic breathless, boneless in bliss.

Lucas crawled back up the bed and kissed her. It was soft and lazy. She was just a few seconds out of sync with him, slower, still coming down from her high.

Vic shifted and turned toward him, hooking her fingers into the waistband of his pants. She slipped a hand under and palmed Lucas’ cock. Lucas hummed at the touch, just this side of a groan. He was hard and leaking. If he had forgotten about himself as he ate her out, his focus came back near instantly.

Together, they took care of his sweatpants and underwear.

She squeezed him gently, and Lucas knew that he wasn’t going to last long. It had been months since he and Vic had last had sex, and beyond that, it had been weeks since he had last jerked off. He was overly sensitive and the fact that his gorgeous girlfriend was holding his cock in her hand only escalated things. Especially with how she thumbed his tip on the upstroke.

“Victoria,” Lucas groaned, drawing out the vowels in her name, his voice dipping deeper. “Victoria, I’m not gonna last of you keep going like that.”

She seemed fully aware of that fact, as she continued on with barely a pause.

“That—,” Lucas cut himself off, not necessarily remembering what he was trying to say in the first place. His eyes fluttered shut, and his forehead was creased in something between tension and concentration. He was just shy of his tipping point. He knew he needed to cool down if they were going to get any farther.

“Do you have a condom?” Lucas asked, in perhaps what he thought to be his last shred of coherency.

Vic gave him a long stare, her eyebrow raised critically. “I’m clean. You’re clean. And I’m already pregnant.”

Right. That made perfect sense. It was obvious, really.

“Glad to know you’re always prepared,” Vic grinned.

Lucas laughed and laid her back down on the bed, pressing another kiss to the corner of her mouth.

A spike of anxiety flared up in the base of his skull, but he squashed it down as quickly as he could.This was safe. Lucas knew it was safe. He had researched it to make sure that I was safe for the baby, but he still felt nervous. He climbed over Vic, carefully swinging his leg over her body.

He paused, taking a moment to absorb the picture. She was so beautiful, his head swam with the image, and all the tension quickly drained from his body.  
Vic looked up at him. “You okay?” She asked, sitting up.

“You’re gorgeous,” he informed her, just this side of breathless. She was utterly captivating, and a part of him couldn’t believe that this was his girlfriend. His girlfriend, the mother of his child.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Vic replied, the corner of her mouth quirking up. She reached around and pinched his ass in a fit of playfulness. “But I think that you’d look a lot better if you were inside of me.”

Lucas didn’t have to be told twice.

Vic laid back and Lucas grinned, aligning himself with her. He slowly pushed inside, relishing in the feel of her wet heat around his cock. Sex without a condom felt different, and Lucas was altogether aware of the fact that the last time they were together like this, Bean was conceived. The thought only seemed to spur him on, and he began to move, setting a slow, steady pace. He wanted to make this last.

“Lucas, fuck,” Vic babbled, her words almost unintelligible as he worked her back up into a frenzy.

He adjusted himself, angling so that he hit her g-spot nearly every time.

“You feel so good, Victoria,” Lucas praised. “You’re so amazing.”  
Lucas maintained his pace and took in the way that Vic seemed to melt. It felt like both forever, and mere moments until Lucas knew that he was close to finishing.

“Lucas,” Vic said. “I’m gonna — Luke, I’m gonna come.”

“C’mon,” Lucas said. He swirled his thumb into her clit, teasing mercilessly as he pumped in and out of her.

He felt it as she came undone. Like they were completely connected, he could feel the way that her body tightened around him. He kept his pace, fucking her through it. He relished in her gasps and moans. He wished it could have lasted forever, but he followed close behind her.

His fingers curled tight into the sheets as he slowed. His hips stilled, as he spilled his cum inside of her.

They stayed like that for a long moment before Vic shifted onto his knees. He was still bent over her, breathing into her collarbone. He slipped out of her, and her hand came up to lazily cup the nap of his neck.

“That was… fun,” Vic said, finally catching some semblance of breath.

Lucas shifted, flopping softly on the bed next to her, thoroughly spent.

“That it was,” he agreed. He grinned lazily and gave Vic a soft kiss on her head. 

She smiled at him. 

-X-

Lucas kissed Vic’s shoulder softly. Vic was curled up tightly against Lucas. He was warm and Vic could feel the heat radiating from his bare skin, could smell the body wash and shampoo from their earlier actvities. They had showered (not without messing around, of course, because Vic felt near insatiable at times), changed the sheets, and crawled into bed, the two of them still completely naked but mostly clean. 

“My Dad was diagnosed with cancer when I was three,” Lucas blurted. He sighed softly, and Vic grabbed his fingers and squeezed tightly.

Lucas breathed slowly, in and out, then in and out.

“I don’t actually remember a time before he got sick. He was a good dad, but he was never able to do what my friend’s dads did. Chemo and surgery took a lot out of him. He went into remission when I was six, and we celebrated,” Lucas continued. “It was good. I think that year was easily one of the best of my life. And then it came back, and it was ten times more aggressive than it was before. He held on for three years after that, kept saying he wanted to see his kids grow up. He wanted to see Sophie go to her first dance, wanted to see Henry make varsity futbol, he wanted to see me finish scouts. He knew that he was dying, that he wasn’t going to make it, but he kept fighting. He died when I was nine. My mom found out that she was pregnant with Liv on the day of his funeral. She wasn’t working at the time and she definitely couldn’t support the four of us, so my dad’s parents offered us their home. We flew halfway across the world and moved in with them.”

“Wow,” Vic said, running her thumb across Lucas’s hand, unsure of what else to say. “That’s… I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago,” Lucas replied.

“Doesn’t make it easier,” Vic replied. “I can’t imagine losing a parent.”

Lucas placed a hand on Vic's bare stomach. "That's why I'm here for you and Bean. I know that I can't control everything. I can't guarantee that I'll be around long enough to see Bean graduate high school or college or med school or whatever he does, but I'm going to be here when I can, as often as I can. for everything that I can be."

"You're here now," Vic said, scooting back so that she fit into Lucas's body like a puzzle. "That's more than you can say for some parents, and I know that mean will appreciate that."

"I'm here now," Lucas agreed, pressing another lazy kiss to Vic's shoulder.

Vic's eyelids drooped. She was utterly exhausted from the events of the day and their previous activities, and everything was catching up with her. She felt so comforted in Lucas's arm. She felt safe and cared for.

Vic could feel her drifting off, her breathing slowly evening out as she did so. She loved this. She loved Bean. She loved _Lucas_. The thought was extremely comforting as she drifted off to sleep.

-X-

Vic's awoke to the loud ringing of the doorbell.

"Who is that?" Vic whined as she opened her eyes and glanced at her nightstand. It was 9:30 in the morning.

"I don't know," Lucas said groggily. "It's your apartment."

Vic mentally calculated who it could be. It was possibly Andy or Maya or someone else entirely. Amazon delivered this early, didn't they? Although, Vic didn't recall placing an order, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t placed an order. (Vic had once accidentally ordered pencils on autoship and forgot to cancel each month until she had almost 500 mechanical pencils and absolutely no idea what to do with them.)

The doorbell rang again... and again. So, it probably wasn't the Amazon delivery man. Vic sighed and stumbled blindly out of bed.

She walked over to her door and opened it. "Just a minute," she called out as loudly as she could. She opened her drawer and grabbed a pair of stretchy pajama pants. Then, she grabbed one of her brother's old UCLA shirts and tugged it over her head. She needed new shirts, as her old clothes were starting to get tight on her, and she only had a handful of maternity work shirts.

The doorbell rang again. "I'm coming!" Vic shouted.

Lucas was awake now too, and he was searching for his clothes.

Vic smiled at him and then left her bedroom. She opened the front door a moment later to reveal her sister and niece

"Hey," Vic signed, surprised. 

"Sorry about the doorbell," Gabby signed in response. "I told Nina to stop ringing it so much."

"Hi, Aunt Vic," Nina said, and that was all the warning Vic had before she was crushed in a hug by 40 pounds of six year old.

"Hi, Nina," Vic said, rubbing Nina's back softly. "You know," Vic suggested as Nina pulled away. “I have Netflix on my big tv if you want to watch it. You can use my headphones on the tv stand. You know how to use them, right?"

Nina nodded enthusiastically.

“What are you doing here?” Vic signed to Gabby once Nina was engrossed in turning on the television. She was careful to keep her face natural and not accusatory.

“What? I’m not allowed to visit my favorite sister?” Gabby teased lightly, smirking.

“That’s true, I am your favorite," Vic signed with a light laugh. "But I'm sure you didn't drive all the way from Tacoma to here unannounced just to say hi." 

Gabby huffed. She glanced at Nina who was still completely engrossed in finding a show on Netflix. "I was supposed to drop Nina off at her dad's house for spring, but his flight got delayed so he's not here yet, and of course he fails to mention this until I’m already in Seattle.Then, I was supposed to leave her with her grandparents, but they're not back from church yet, and they don't live too far from here so I figured that I would stop by. Although I see that you’re a little busy." Gabby arched an eyebrow, staring at something behind Vic.

Vic turned and followed Gabby's line of sight to see Lucas standing in the doorway of her bedroom, already dressed in his uniform pants and his buttoned t-shirt.

Lucas waved.

Vic waved back.

“Maybe a little,” Vic signed, turning back to face Gabby.

“He’s cute," Gabby signed. "I don’t usually go for tall, _old_ guys, but he’s cute.” She emphasized old, dragging her fist down her body.

“I know, he's cute, and he's not that old,” Vic replied.

“How old is he?" Gabby questioned.

“He’s 43,” Vic answered.

“Dad’s going to have a cow,” Gabby said. "Does Dad know?"

"He knows Lucas is older," Vic signed. "I may have omitted by how much."

"He won't be happy," Gabby signed.

“Nick was nine years older than you when you got pregnant with Nina,” Vic signed defensively. “And you were younger than I was when that happened.”

“And dad threatened to murder Nick,” Gabby replied, giving Vic an exaggerated look. “When are you going to take him meet Mom and Dad?”

“Sometime soon, probably after we talk to the HR department,” Vic said. Her mom had been pestering her about meeting Lucas, and Vic kept putting it off. But they should probably visit soon, because Mom was the type to drop by unannounced for the soul purpose of meeting Lucas, and it was probably better to be prepared.

“Yikes,” Gabby signed. “How do you think that’s going to go?”

“HR?" Vic signed.

Gabby nodded.

"I could be fired, He could be fired, or nothing could happen. It could go any way." Vic shrugged

“Wow, you seem calm about it," Gabby said, arching an eyebrow.

“Whatever happens, happens," Vic explained. "Me stressing about it isn’t going to change it."

“That makes sense," Gabby said. 

Their conversation stopped and Vic turned to see that Lucas was leaning against the counter, a cup of coffee in hand, quietly observing them.

“Lucas, this is my sister, Gabby. Gabby, this is my... uh... my Lucas.” Despite them discussing their relationship, it felt weird to refer to Lucas as her boyfriend. So, Vic panicked.

“Hi My Lucas,” Gabby said with a smirk, reaching out to shake Lucas’s hand.  
“It’s nice to meet you, Vic has told me a lot about you,”

“I’ve heard a lot about you as well,” Lucas replied, shaking Gabby's hand firmly.

An awkward silence fell amongst the three of them. 

“I’m Nina!” A voice announced.

The three of them turned to face Nina, who had paused the television and turned to face the three of them.

“Hello, Nina,” Lucas said. He waved.

Nina waved back. “Are you my aunt’s boyfriend?” Nina asked, scrunching her eyebrows. She was blunt, and there was no question as to where she got that from. 

“Yes,” Lucas answered, smiling warmly.

“Are you her baby’s dad?” Nina pressed.

“Yes,” Lucas answered. His cheeks were starting to turn red. Lucas took a sip of his coffee.

“That’s cool. Did you have the sperm?” Nina continued her interrogation.

“I’m sorry?” Lucas said, choking on his coffee.

Vic snorted softly. 

“Did you have a sperm?” Nina repeated, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Because my Aunt Vic has an egg, and in order to make a baby, someone has to have sperm and someone has to have an egg. That's what mom told me. Well, actually we read that in a book together, and then we talked about it. But anyway, one person has to have a sperm, and someone else has an egg, and they have to meet, and that forms something called a… a...” Nina scratched her head. “I don’t remember.”

“Zygote,” Gabby supplied, suppressing her snicker.

Vic did laugh quietly, turning to face the door so that Nina couldn't see her. She laughed for a moment and then managed to compose herself, breathing deeply before she turned around it again.

Lucas stared at the floor, avoiding making eye contact with any of them.

"Right!" Nina said. "And then a zygote grows into an embryo and then it becomes a fetus then a baby." Nina grinned, obviously proud herself. "Right, mom?"

“That is right," Gabby said, smiling at Nina. "But I’m sure that Mr. Lucas doesn’t need to know how babies are made, okay?”

Vic snickered. Lucas definitely need to know how babies were made. He was actually quite good at it, if Vic had to say so herself.

Lucas was so red that even his ears were the shade of a freshly shined firetruck.

“Okay,” Nina agreed.

Gabby’s phone flashed and she glanced at the screen. She sighed and quickly typed something out.

“Nina," Gabby said. "Your gamma and grandpa are back from church early,” Gabby said. “We should probably get you dropped off, okay?”

Nina nodded and she hopped over the back of Vic's couch.

"It was nice to meet you, Lucas," Gabby said.

"Nice meeting you as well," Lucas replied. His natural color had slowly started to return to his cheeks and he was slowly sipping his coffee.

"Bye, Aunt Vic," Nina said. "Can I hug you?" She asked. 

"Yes," Vic said, and Nina hugged her tightly. "I will see you soon, Nina " Vic said, rubbing Nina's back.

"Bye, Mr. Lucas," Nina said. She waved.

Lucas waved back.

"I will call you later, probably after I get off work tomorrow," Gabby signed to Vic. "We need to talk. And then you can tell about what happened with HR."

Vic nodded. She wrapped Gabby in a hug, acutely aware of how her growing stomach pressed against Gabby's.

"You're getting bigger," Gabby signed when she pulled away.

Vic snorted. "Bye," she said, rolling her eyes.

Gabby laughed. "I'll call tomorrow." She opened the door, and the two of them walked out.

Vic smirked as she turned to face Lucas. "You almost got 'the talk' from a six year old," she teased.

"I'm just glad I already know how babies are made," Lucas said with a chuckle, although his blush was returning to his cheeks.

"Just to clarify," Vic said seriously, suddenly remembering part of their conversation. "My sister was referring to her daughter's paternal grandparents, not my mom and dad. They live in Puyallup, so, I'm not like, hiding you from them or anything."

"I didn't think you were," Lucas said as he began to wash his cup. "I just figured that I would meet your parents whenever you were ready."

"Right," Vic said quickly. "That's what I meant. We should do that soon, y'know. But not too soon. It's quite a drive, so we both need to be off of work and stuff. I don't visit them often, either. Maybe we could go next month, for my birthday." Vic was rambling, but the thought of Lucas meeting her parents was nerve wracking.

"We can do that," Lucas said. "Just give me a date, and I'll mark it on my calendar."

"I'll call my parents," Vic said. "But later, after tomorrow."

"My mom wants to meet you too," Lucas said. "Maybe we can do something with her around that time?"

And shit, that was nerve-wracking as well. Meeting Lucas's mom for the first time sounded terrifying.

"She's excited," Lucas said, in response to what Vic could only assume was a sheer look of terror.

"I'm glad to hear that," Vic said. But she was terrified. She had only met someone's parents once, and that relationship had crashed and burned shortly after. Meeting someone's parents seemed like a huge step. Although, they were having a kid together, so they had already taken an enormous step, what was meeting parents in the grand scheme of things?

Lucas looked at his watch. "I should go," he said. "I have an inspection at 9:30. I'll see you tonight?"

Vic nodded and leaned in for a kiss. Then, she watched as Lucas walked out the door.

Vic was going to meet Lucas's parents. Lucas was going to meet hers. They were going to tell HR. Oh, and Vic loved Lucas.

Vic sighed and pressed a hand against her stomach. "Well, Bean," she said to her son. "I'd say that things are getting pretty serious between me and your dad. What do you think, little man, hm?"

-X-

“I’m never happy when the Chief of the Seattle Fire department or any Seattle official calls and asks to arrange a private meeting with me,” said Dr. Reagan Peterson, the head of Seattle’s government’s Human Relations. She leaned back in her chair, looking pensive. “Please don’t tell me it has something to do with the pregnant firefighter sitting in my waiting room,” Reagan continue. “I swear, if I have to deal with a pregnancy discrimination suit, I’m going to end you, Lucas Ripley. This would be my third one in three years, not that the first two were your fault. But I do not want to deal with another pregnancy discrimination lawsuit.”

“It might be worse than that,” Lucas said. His words coming out in a rush. (Reagan was going to murder him or, worse yet, castrate him. Or both, probably both.)

“Come again?” Reagan said. She chewed on the end of her pen.

“It might be worse,” Lucas said slowly. 

Reagan gave him a filthy look. “How can whatever this is be worse than pregnancy discrimination?” She asked.

Lucas breathed out a slow breath. “The pregnant firefighter, that’s me,”  
Lucas said.

Reagan blinked, and Lucas realized that his words hadn’t come out quite right.

“The pregnant firefighter, Victoria Hughes, is pregnant with my baby,” Lucas explained.

“Motherfucker,” Reagan said with a huff. She swiveled in her chair and faced the wall.

“Reagan?” Lucas asked cautiously. “Are you okay?”

“Don’t say a damned word,” Reagan uttered. Her voice was thick with venom. He could hear her breathing deeply, slowly, and Lucas knew it was best not to interrupt, not if he wanted to keep his genitals and his life. Reagan sounds her chair and pressed a button on the phone on her desk.

“Could you send Richard Martin in here as soon as possible?” Reagan asked when her secretary answered the phone.

“Right away,” the secretary answered.

“Reagan,” Lucas tried again.

“Not one word,” Reagan said slowly. She huffed. “Not one word until there’s a lawyer in this room. Understood?”

Lucas nodded.

“Give me your personal phone,” Reagan said. “And put your on call phone on the desk.”

Lucas complied and handed Reagan his phone, feeling like a child in the principal’s office. He put his department phone on the desk.

“You probably won’t be getting this back until we’re done with interviews,” Reagan said. She opened her desk drawer and placed his personal phone inside of it. He had figured this was going to happen, given the current situation and the political climate. It made logical sense, to keep him from being able to threaten or influence Victoria into complying. “Hopefully they won’t ask for message history.”

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in!” Reagan called out.

Lucas had met Richard Martin exactly once, when he was dealing with the racial discrimination lawsuit that had cost the previous chief his job. MArtin was a tall, stern, no nonsense lawyer, and he had been working for Seattle for sixteen years. He was dressed in a smart suit and his black hair was slicked back with gel.

“Afternoon Dr. Peterson, Chief Ripley,” Martin said.

Reagan rolled her eyes. “I’ve been telling you to call me Reagan for five years now,” she said with a huff.

“I have a rule,” Martin said with a chuckle.

“Do you have a recorder?” Reagan asked, effectively changing the subject.

“I’m a lawyer, Dr. Peterson,” Martin said. “I haven’t been anywhere without a recorder since graduation.” He laughed, obviously finding his joke to be quite humorous. 

Reagan didn’t even crack a smile. “We have an issue with Chief Ripley,” Reagan said. “It’s best that this is all said on record.”

Martin nodded and opened his briefcase. He pulled out a black recorder and flicked it on.

“I’m Richard Martin and today is March 23rd. I’ve been called in here to discuss a matter regarding Seattle’s Human Relations department. With me today are Fire Chief Lucas Ripley and Director of human relations, Dr. Reagan Peterson. Dr. Peterson, will you explain the problem.”

Reagan sighed. “The Fire Chief has informed me that he was in an intimate relationship with a firefighter and that aforementioned firefighter is now pregnant,” Reagan answered, her voice deceptively calm.

Martin grimaced. “Chief Ripley,” Martin said. “Do you wish to affirm this accusation?”

“Yes,” Lucas said.

“Can you provide the first and last name of this firefighter?” Martin asked.

“Victoria Hughes,” Lucas answered.

“Is the relationship with Ms. Hughes ongoing?” Martin asked.

“Yes, sir,” Lucas stuttered out, blushing a bit.

“Did this relationship, either the sexual or emotional components, begin while you were Ms. Hughes’s direct superior?” Reagan asked.

“No,” Lucas said, keeping his answers clipped.

“Did this relationship start when either of you were or were reasonable suspected to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol?”

“No,” Lucas said.

Reagan looked relieved at that.

“Is your relationship with Hughes consensual on your behalf?” Reagan asked.

“Yes,” Lucas replied.

“Were any of the rules of sexual harassment and interpersonal relationships violated during the course of your relationship with Ms. Hughes?”

“I didn’t report it,” Lucas said sheepishly.

“Were any other rules violated?”

There was one other, but Lucas wasn’t going to admit to having sex at Station 19. It didn’t add or detract from the situation at hand, and it would only serve to cause them more trouble.

“No,” Lucas said.

“Who else is aware of your relationship?” Reagan asked. “They will be asked to come into questioning.”

“Captain Sullivan and the team from Station 19,” Lucas answered.

Reagan sighed and scribbled something in her notebook.

“Do you have any additional questions for Chief Ripley, Dr. Peterson?” Martin asked.

“No,” Reagan said. “I believe that we are done here. I’m going to ask Ms. Hughes to come in and we will obtain her perspective. Chief Ripley will be on standby for any additional questioning. I have confiscated his personal cell phone to prevent any communication between him and Ms. Hughes until we can finish a preliminary interview.”

“Thank you, Chief,” Martin said. He clicked off the recorder.

“Let’s hope this doesn’t have to go to the mayoral board,” Reagan said with a sigh. “I don’t want to have to do that much paperwork.”

“Give the complexity of the situation and the current political climate, I would not be surprised if it did,” Martin said. “We’ll give you a phone call on your work phone when you’re able to retrieve your personal device.”

“Exit from the right hand door,” Reagan called as Lucas stood. “We’re not trying to add complex hand signals to this report. Got it?”

Lucas nodded. The easy part was over. He had no idea what was going to happen next, whether it was going to be probation or suspension or demotion or termination or (however unlikely) just a formal reprimand. Lucas cared about his job; he loved his job. But he cared more about Vic and Bean than he did about his position. Telling HR was the right thing to do. It was the only thing he could do in this situation, and Lucas had no regrets. He could deal with the consequences. He just hoped that said consequences didn’t also happen to Victoria. 

-X-

Vic couldn’t breathe. She entered the office slowly. Two people, a man and a woman, were sitting at the desk before her. The woman's hair was pulled into a tight bun, and she looked serious. The man was dressed in an expensive suit, and his black hair was slicked back with gel. If Vic had to guess from his look and demeanor, the man was a lawyer.

The woman smiled lightly. “Hello, Victoria, I’m Dr. Reagan Peterson and this is Richard Martin," she said. "I’m the director of human relations for Seattle’s government office and Mr. Martin is our senior lawyer for our department. We’d just like to ask you to answer some questions. You can sit down."

Vic settled in the chair. She clasped her fingers together and looked up.

"Do you mind if we record this conversation?" Dr. Peterson asked. "It's easier for us to use direct quotes for our report. The file will be encrypted and stored electronically, but no one will be able to access it without a passcode."

"That's fine," Vic said. She would agree at just about anything at this point to get this over with.

Martin turned on the recorder and placed it on the table.

"Do you understand that you are able to speak freely within this space, and that no repercussions will arise simply as a result of you speaking up?” Dr. Peterson asked.

Vic nodded.

“We need verbal affirmation, Hughes,” Martin spoke up.

“Yes,” Vic said, careful to keep her voice level and emotion free.

“Excellent,” Martin said. “We're going to ask you several questions regarding your relationship with Chief Ripley. We only ask that you answer these questions honestly."

Vic fidgeted a little at the mention of honesty, considering that they had agreed not to mention the time that they had violated SFD protocol which was the reason that Bean was conceived and that they were disclosing their relationship in the first place. The irony was not lost on Vic.

"Fire Chief Ripley informed us today that you and he were engaged in an ongoing sexual relationship." Dr. Peterson's words jolted Vic from her thoughts. "He also informed us that this sexual relationship that resulted in your pregnancy. Do you wish to confirm this assertion?”

“Yes,” Vic said. The first question wasn't so bad. Vic could do this. Being honest, or mostly honest, was the easy part. The hard part was going to be waiting for the results.

“Is this relationship consensual?” Dr. Peterson asked

“Yes,” Vic said.

“At any point in the relationship, did you feel pressured into engaging in physical or sexual activity with Chief Ripley?” This time it was Martin who asked the question.

“No,” Vic answered. "Everything was completely consensual."

“At any point in the relationship, did you feel pressured into maintaining an emotional relationship with Chief Ripley?" Dr. Peterson asked.

“No,” Vic said. Her heart twisted a little at that. Lucas had never pressured her to respond to anything, even when she completely ghosted him.

“Did this relationship begin while Chief Ripley was your direct supervisor?” Dr. Peterson asked.

“No,” Vic answered. "It happened after."

“Approximately when did this relationship start?”

“November 9th,” Vic answered. (She was probably never going to forget when Dean's birthday was.)

“Who initiated the physical relationship?” Dr. Peterson asked. "

“I did,” Vic said. "I kissed him first." Vic had had no idea what compelled her to kiss Ripley when he walked her home that night, but she was damned glad that she had.

“Were either of you under the influence of drugs or alcohol at any point while engaging in sexual activity?” Martin asked.

“No,” Vic answered. The night of their first one night stand. They had both had a drink each, but neither of them were even remotely buzzed at the bar and by the time that they left, any effects of the alcohol would have worn off.

“Barring the reporting clause, did Chief Ripley violate any of the rules regarding Seattle’s sexual harassment and interpersonal relationships policy?”

“No,” Vic fidgeted some at this, hoping that Dr. Peterson wouldn't notice. After all, she was technically lying about the rules that they broke.

“Who else is aware of your relationship?” Dr. Peterson asked, seemingly unphased.

“My team and Captain from Station 19,” Vic answered.

“We will most likely question them during their next shift if it is possible,” Martin piped up.

( _That_ was going to be interesting. If Vic could be a fly on that wall.)

“Okay,” Vic said. She clasped her fingers together again.

“Is there anything else you would like to add to our conversation?" Dr. Peterson asked.

“No,” Vic shook her head. "I don't have anything else to report."

“Alright then, we are done here," Dr. Peterson said. "Per department policy, you and Chief Ripley will not be allowed contact until an official report is fired with HR. However, given the current situation with your pregnancy, you may contact him via his work phone in case of emergency. All calls to that line are recorded. We will try to file this report as quickly and efficiently as possible. However, it will most likely take a minimum of 72 hours. We also ask that you not speak with your team regarding this matter so that their opinions remain uninfluenced. Again, you are allowed to speak freely, and if you would like to make amendments to your statement or retract it, call me and we can schedule something.” Dr. Peterson handed Reagan a business card.

Dr. Peterson turned off the recorder.

"Seattle Government offers free, confidential resources for individuals affected by workplace harassment if you would like to speak with anyone about this," Dr. Peterson said.

“Thank you,” Vic said. She had no intention of using the services, but it was nice to know that they existed.  
“If you don't have anything else to say, you are free to leave," Dr. Peterson said. "Just please remember our request regarding contact."

Vic nodded and stood.

"The report should be in your email inbox by Thursday afternoon," Dr. Peterson said. "You will also receive a physical copy via certified mail."

"Thank you, again," Vic said. She turned on her heel and walked out the door of the office.

The hard part was over. Now, all they had to do was wait for the results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did y'all like it? Hate it? Please comment. I'm about to enter one of the toughest semesters I've had so far and reviews make me smile.
> 
> Also: good news! Chapter nine is like 75% of the way done and I plan to finish on MLK day, so it should be on time. *bangs on wood*
> 
> Oh yeah! And, fun fact: the conversation with Nina was based off of a real interaction I observed from a kid talking to her older sister's boyfriend. The kid in question was 5 but was also ridiculously smart and she knew it. (See also: I have so many weird, interesting, and often hilarious conversations with kids given the populations(LGBT families, foster children, gifted and talented kids, disabled kids, etc.) I have worked with.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little bit late, but it's still Friday somewhere. Also, I'm going to ramble so feel free to skip this if you want.
> 
> Many apologies for the lateness. I have had a hell of a week that includes: having two back to back, three hour long meetings, for a total of spending 6 hours in two windowless room, forgetting that I had to go to open lab for neuroscience until literally the day it was due, having to spend $450 on textbooks only to learn that the textbook I ordered was incorrect, staying up until 2am to finish my ASL homework that was then subsequently graded on the honor system, and also forgetting to take my meds on the day of a quiz
> 
> On a brighter note, today was fucking amazing. I got 10/10 on my open neuro lab quiz. I found out the boss I hate is moving. My job (children's museum) is opening a new exhibit that is hella fucking cool. I didn't have to present in my English class. And I got a free chocolate mocha from starbucks for no apparent reason.
> 
> OKAY, for actual story related stuff.  
> 1\. I lowkey don't like how this chapter played out. But I've written in like three times so I went with the best version.  
> 2\. This is unedited, and also I hate this chapter  
> 2a. This chapter seems boring, and it kinda is, but there's some important stuff going on here. (hint, hint)  
> 3\. Um, that's it??

From: reagan.peterson@seattle.gov  
To: lucas.ripley@seattle.gov  
CC: deborah.frankel@seattlefd.gov, robert.sullivan@seattlefd.gov richard.martin@seattle.gov, carl.zeigler@iaff.net  
Re: Chief Lucas Ripley HR Report

Incident: On March 23rd, 2019, Chief Lucas Ripley informed us of an romantic and sexual relationship with firefighter. This relationship, according to Ripley, resulted in Hughes’s pregnancy.

Procedure: Interviews were conducted with Lucas Ripley, Victoria Hughes, Battalion Chief Deborah Frankel, Captain Robert Sullivan, Lieutenant Jack Gibson, Lieutenant Andrea Herrera, Lieutenant Maya Bishop, Travis Montgomery, Dean Miller, and Benjamin Warren.

The case was reviewed by Dr. Reagan Peterson, Allison Davis, Arthur Clarke from Seattle’s Human Relations department. Legal counsel was provided Richard Martin, JD, and Gabriel Hansen, JD.

Findings: As of March 25th, 2019, these are the findings of Seattle Human Relations:  
No laws regarding sexual harassment or sexual assault were found to have been violated. However, per Section B, of the Seattle Fire Department Handbook, interpersonal relationship between a non direct supervisor and subordinate should be reported immediately. This rule was found to have been violated.

Disciplinary Action: As of March 25th, 2019, Chief Lucas Ripley is placed on a temporary probation period lasting one year. During this period, Chief Ripley will be subject to bimonthly peer reviews starting the final week of April and continuing every other month until a final peer review is given in March of 2020. Any further allegations of sexual harassment or misconduct will result in immediate termination. In addition, it is recommended that Chief Ripley attend mandatory workplace harassment and EEOC training to ensure continued compliance with the EEOC guidelines as defined by the Department of Labor. Finally, as a condition of probation, Seattle Government reserves the right to terminate the employment of Lucas Ripley for any of the reasons outlined by Chief Ripley’s contract with IAFF. These reasons include but are not limited to: reckless endangerment of self or others, repeated CPAT failure, drug test failure, or violation of rules outlined in Chief Ripley’s contact with the Seattle Government or the International Association of Firefighters.

An appeal may be filed within 60 days of the receiving of this message. The full HR report, including transcriptions of interviews and a timeline, may be viewed via Human Relations.

-X-

Lucas sighed as he glanced over the budget for the next quarter. It was tight, but they had secured enough funding to begin a soft roll out of some new training gear as well as implement a few more safety courses for the firefighters. It would most definitely pay off. That was for sure, but budgeting was exhausting, and even though the budget was done, it didn’t mean that it would pass the quarterly budget meeting, leaving Lucas in a bind.

Budgets were boring, but crunching numbers was better than the alternative. He had received his HR report and he had read through it, but work was probably the worst place to process the information. He was on probation, which was terrifying. Probation was a huge threat, given that it was difficult to terminate a firefighter who was part of a union. Probation with peer review was usually the first step, and it meant that Lucas’s job was at risk.

It was why he was being diligent about crunching the numbers for their next quarter. He needed to be on top of his game. Numbers were objective. They didn’t lie or have ulterior motives. Numbers could be the difference between Lucas’s keeping his job and getting demoted.

Lucas’s door clicked. Lucas frowned. He had locked his door for a reason.

“You couldn’t keep your dick in your pants?” Deb said as she entered his office, seeming unbothered by the previously locked door.

“My door was locked,” Lucas said by way of response, intentionally avoiding the elephant in the room.

“Was it?” Deb said, innocuously placing a hairpin into her hair.

“You could’ve knocked,” Lucas suggested.

“And you could’ve kept your dick in your pants, but you didn’t and here we are,” Deb shot back. She looked angry, angrier than Lucas had seen her in years, maybe ever. [Ever was maybe an exaggeration. The angriest she had ever been was in 2007 after Wilson called her a bull dyke. (That may have been the most terrifying thing that Lucas had ever experienced.)]

“It was an accident,” Lucas said. He rubbed his beard, a nervous tick that had been steadily becoming more pronounced. At least the worst of the situation was over.

“Did you trip and fall into bed with Hughes?” Deb snarked. “No, seriously. Did you somehow manage to accidentally have unprotected sex and accidentally impregnate her? Because that’s a hell of a coincidence and I don’t think this is Jane the Virgin.”

“I didn’t know you watched that,” Lucas snickered. His sisters loved that show. Lucas didn’t get it.

Deb gave him a hard glare, and Lucas straightened under her gaze.

“We used condoms?” Lucas tried. “And the one time we didn’t, her birth control failed.”

Deb huffed. “The only reason I haven’t slapped you is because I know you, Lucas Ripley, and I know that you are a good man. So, I say this as a friend and not a colleague when I ask, what the hell were you thinking?”

Lucas stared at his desk. “I wasn’t thinking,” he answered honestly. “Victoria is just… so... She’s… uh… She’s increible and when I’m around it’s… uh… hard to think… and I… she… just”

“Okay.” Frankel rolled her eyes. “So, you’re in love… gross. You made a pretty stupid choice, but, I guess I can understand why.” Her face softened, just a little. “And you’re not leaving her or the kid, which is more than we can say for most men in this predicament.

Lucas made a point to ignore Deb’s comment about being in love. He could file that away for later consideration. “That’s my kid,” Lucas said sharply. “I could never. I would never.”

“I know,” Deb said. “You’re a good man, Lucas. I would hate to see you go down over this, especially given who’s slated to replace you. I can’t deal with Wilson’s racist, sexist, homophobic ass, so if you get terminated, I will murder you.”

Lucas stared at Deb, noticing that the fire remained in her eyes. “That’s not all you’re angry about, is it?”

Deb sighed. “I’m not angry with you, more the situation.”

Lucas tilted his head curiously.

“Hughes is smart; she’s got a good head on her shoulders, and she’s one of the few women of color in this department,” Deb began. “And when, not if, this becomes public knowledge in the department, it’s going to change everything for Hughes. Sure, you’re on probation, but beyond peer reviews, your work will be allowed to speak for itself. Hughes will be picked apart, everything she does will be open for people to analyze and make comments on.”

“Like you did with Herrera?” Lucas bit out, because he wasn’t going to sit there and have Deb berate him as if he had never considered what this would do to Vic’s career. It was something that angered him and the guilt he felt about it was something he figured wouldn’t go away for quite some time. “I know what this is going to do to Hughes’s career, and you think I don’t feel like shit over it?” 

Deb looked sheepish at that. “I admit I was out of line with Herrera, and I was directing my anger at her when I shouldn’t have, especially in front of her peers. And I have since apologized to her for it.”

That was news to Lucas.

“It just goes to show that even I’m not immune to the misogyny that’s rampant within this department,” Deb continued. “But I guess it’s unfair of me to assume that you don’t know how it works in this department.” 

A silence fell between them.

Deb sighed. “Congratulations, by the way.”

Lucas raised an eyebrow.

“On the kid,” Deb clarified. “I know you like kids, for whatever god awful reason.”

Lucas chuckled. “You’re pretty good with them yourself.”

Deb laughed at that. “I might be good with kids, but I’m not their biggest fan,” she said. “But I prefer my children to walk on four legs and be covered in fur.”

(Frankel’s dogs were potentially the only proof that Frankel didn’t hate everything in existence. She had three rescue mutts who were the ugliest things that Lucas had ever seen, but Deb treated them like they were her kids and spoiled the hell out of them.)

“Seriously, though,” Deb said. “Congratulations. And I’m sorry about the probation.” 

“It could’ve been worse,” Lucas said, and it could’ve been, so much worse. He had been given a slap on the wrist. A year of probation was nothing. Vic was the one that had to deal with the long term consequences, and, in the face of that, Lucas’s problem seemed trivial. 

Telling Vic about his probation would only add to her stress levels, and that wasn’t fair to her. He could deal with this, and he was going to keep it to himself. 

Vic had enough on her plate as it was. 

-X-

From: reagan.peterson@seattle.gov  
To: victoria.hughes@seattle.gov  
CC: deborah.frankel@seattlefd.gov, robert.sullivan@seattlefd.gov, andrea.herrera@seattlefd.gov, jack.gibson@seattlefd.gov, maya.bishop@seattlefd.gov, madison.gomez@iaff.org  
Re: Victoria Hughes HR Report

Incident: On March 23rd, 2019, Chief Lucas Ripley informed us of an romantic and sexual relationship with firefighter, Victoria Hughes. This relationship, according to Ripley, resulted in Hughes’s pregnancy.

Procedure: Interviews were conducted with Lucas Ripley, Victoria Hughes, Battalion Chief Deborah Frankel, Captain Robert Sullivan, Lieutenant Jack Gibson, Lieutenant Andrea Herrera, Lieutenant Maya Bishop, Travis Montgomery, Dean Miller, and Benjamin Warren.

The case was reviewed by Dr. Reagan Peterson, Allison Davis, Arthur Clarke from Seattle’s Human Relations department. Legal counsel was provided Richard Martin, JD, and Gabriel Hansen, JD.

Findings:As of March 25th, 2019, these are the findings of Seattle Human Relations:  
No laws regarding sexual harassment or sexual assault were found to have been violated. However, per Section B, of the Seattle Fire Department Handbook, interpersonal relationship between a non direct supervisor and subordinate should be reported immediately. This rule was found to have been violated.

Disciplinary Action: This report serves as a formal reprimand for failing to report an interpersonal relationship between a superior and a sub no consequences are recommended for Victoria Hughes. Hughes may return to active duty when she completes the maternity leave as outlined via her union contract.

Additional Actions: Deborah Frankel, Hughes’s Battalion Chief, Deborah Frankel, will assume formal command over Hughes when she returns to active duty. Any action, either promotional or disciplinary, that requires approval from the Chief will instead be deferred to a council comprised of two Battalion Chiefs, one of whom must be Deborah Frankel. The Chiefs must come to a consensus regarding this action. Effectively immediately, Chief Lucas Ripley is removed from Hughes’s direct chain-of-command. This order can be revisited at a later date provided that there are circumstance to warrant a change in this command structure.

An appeal may be filed within 60 days of the receiving of this message. The full HR report, including transcriptions of interviews and a timeline, may be viewed via Human Relations.

-X-

Travis, Maya, and Andy were staring at her when she entered the living area.

"Shut the door behind you, would you?" Travis suggested.

Vic arched an eyebrow as she closed the door. "Why do I feel like you are staging an intervention or something?" She asked.

"We're not," Andy said.

"Well, not really," Maya clarified.

"This isn't an intervention," Travis said, rolling his eyes. "We just wanted to check on you. I know you got the results from HR today."

"I did," Vic said. "I know Maya and Andy received a copy, but basically I'm being formally reprimanded for not reporting to HR. That's it. For all I stressed about it, I almost wish there was more to it than that."

"The real trial by fire is what everyone else is going to say," Maya said solemnly. "Which is why we called you in here. We've got your back, and, like Gibson, I'm not afraid to punch anyone who hurts you." Maya made a face. "That might be the only time I've agreed with Gibson on anything. Gross."

"What Maya said," Andy continued. "We've got your back."

"Exactly," Travis said. "Anybody says a single world, and I won't hesitate to knock them out."

"Thanks, guys," Vic said. "I really appreciate it."

The klaxons sounded:

"Station 19, respond. Structure fire at Glenrose Apartments: 236 Freestone Street."

"The station is really inconvenient when it comes to having long conversations," Maya said as she and the others stood. “We probably need to work on that.”

"I'll see you when you get back," Vic said.

-X-

The door of the station chimed.

Vic looked up from the computer. “Gibson?” She said, surprised. Despite having known each other for two years, Vic rarely saw Gibson outside of work, and seeing him in civilian clothes felt a bit too much like seeing your doctor outside of the doctor’s office.

“Hey,” Gibson said with a wave. He was carrying a brown gift bag. “I just wanted to stop by for a visit.”

Vic smiled. “Everyone’s out right now, and, from the looks of it-” Vic motioned for Gibson to join her behind the computer screen. “They’ll be there awhile longer.”

“That looks nasty,” Gibson said with a longing look. “Man, I wish I was out there.”

Vic glared at him. “I love Bean, but he’s taking me out of commission for at least a year, so six weeks isn’t that bad.”

Gibson gave Vic a sympathetic smile. “It could be worse, but at least you’re here. I’m completely restless at home and I have no idea what to do with my hands. Which reminds me…” Gibson handed Vic the bag.

Vic opened it and peered inside. Inside was a light green ball of yarn? Vic grabbed the ball of yarn and lifted it up. The yarn was clearly knitted, but it was difficult to tell what it resembled. “Thank you,” Vic said. “I love the…” she trailed off unsure what it was.

“It’s a hat!” Gibson said. He gently grabbed the yarn from her and placed his hand in the middle of it.

Vic tilted her head. “When you do that, from a certain angle, it almost looks like a hat,” she said.

“I followed the instructions!” Gibson said defensively. “It’s not my fault it came out like this.”

“So…” Vic said. “You knit now?”

“Crochet, actually,” Gibson answered. “I tried knitting, didn’t like it. My therapist says I need new hobbies that don’t involve work or exercise. I figured crocheting could be pretty productive because I could make cool things.” Gibson flushed a bit, and Vic felt a little bit guilty over her teasing.

“It’s a nice hat,” Vic said. “And it’s the first thing I’ve gotten for Bean so far, which means you even beat my mom.” It was sweet, Gibson making a hat for Bean. It meant a lot that her family at the station was rallying around her.

“The book says it’ll fit most babies,” Gibson said.

Vic squinted. “It’s a little bit small,” she replied. “Maybe premature newborns, but not full term ones. They usually have pretty nice sized heads.”

Gibson stared at the hat, and then suddenly his eyes went wide open . “This might be for a doll,” he said. “Come to think of it, I thought it was weird that they kept mentioning that you could sew the hat to the head to keep it secure. Suddenly, the directions make a lot more sense.” Gibson huffed. “Well, I guess I’ll have to make him a new one. Or maybe I’ll just buy one. This hobby is kind of awful.”

Vic just grinned.

-X- 

Lucas hummed as he wiped down the counters from their meal. They were at his house this time, and lately it seemed that they had just been altering whose house they stayed at each evening. 

“Holy shit,” Vic said, from where she was washing dishes. 

Lucas dropped his rag and spun around rapidly. “Are you okay?” He asked. 

“Bean just kicked me,” she said. 

“Wait, really?” Lucas asked. 

Vic had told him that she could feel Bean moving, but all the books and websites said that it would be longer before Lucas could feel Bean moving as well. 

Vic nodded. “He’s probably going to be a soccer player at this rate, because that hurt.” 

“Football,” Lucas corrected automatically. It was a habit. 

Vic rolled her eyes. 

Then, she grabbed Lucas’s hand and placed in on the lower part of her abdomen. “Right, there,” she said. 

It took a minute, but Lucas felt a soft, barely noticeable tap against his hand. He could barely speak, that was his son, their son, and he was moving and kicking and Lucas could feel it. 

It was incredible. 

Bean gave a few more kicks. 

“He’s amazing,” Lucas said breathlessly. 

He looked at Vic. She was grinning and she looked more relaxed than he had seen her in weeks. 

Lucas felt more relaxed and less pensive than he had in weeks. His son had just kicked, and that feeling alone was better than any outcome of an HR report. It was more incredible than anything Lucas had felt, and probation or not, Lucas felt like he was on cloud 9. 

-X-

Lucas sighed as he watched Vic sleep. She looked so peaceful, her hair splayed across the pillow. Lately, she and been wearing her stress on her face, but she had seemed so relaxed earlier, now that the hard part was over. She would still have to deal with the rest of the department finding out, they both would. But neither Lucas nor Vic interacted with any of them on a daily basis, and although rumors traveled fast, it would be quite some time before the word made it out of their close knit circle.

Vic looked relaxed and she looked happy and relieved.

Not very many people knew about his probation, just the people who handled the case at HR, the mayoral board, and his Battalion Chiefs.

And in all reality, it was likely that the situation was going to pass. It wasn’t fair to burden Vic with worry about his job, not when things were finally starting to go well.

Lucas breathed deeply. His job didn’t matter as much as Vic and his child did, and if

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loved it? Hated it? Please leave a comment. Also, I love constructive feedback and criticism and am totally open to hearing what you have to say.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! I double posted, so if you haven’t read chapter 9 please go back and do so. 
> 
> So this chapter was originally one chapter, but I changed it because there’s a month long time skip that I didn’t want in one chapter. 
> 
> Therefore, it’s two smaller, split chapters. 
> 
> So, um, yeah. If that makes sense. 
> 
> So, as always, this is unbeta’d and also writing this chapter was like yanking teeth. It was difficult to write and absolutely frustrating for me. That said. I hope you enjoy this chapter installment. 
> 
> Also, I had some fun with POV this chapter, so we get an outlook from another character as to what Vicley looks like.

“It’s been so long since we’ve had girls night,” Maya said, taking a long sip of her beer.

“We haven’t had one since what, January?” Andy agreed. 

Vic shrugged and took a long swig of her water. “It’s been awhile, probably since before I found out I was pregnant.” That has been literal months ago. Vic was nearing 24 weeks, and they hadn’t been out for at least 16 of those. 

“We need to do this more often,” Andy said. “Before your little one get here.”

Vic smiled.

“Hold on, speaking of your baby,” Maya said, and while she wasn’t completely drunk per se, she was certainly tipsy enough to have lost the filter that she didn’t have in place to begin with. “Does it ever like freak you out that there’s a whole other human being growing inside of your uterus? It’s inside of you, but it only has 50% of your DNA. And it has a brain and a skeleton and organs and everything. And it just, it’s getting bigger, like right now.”

Vic made a face. When Bishop put it that way, it sounded almost creepy. “I never thought of it that way,” Vic said. 

Maya sat back in her chair. “Hmm,” She said.

“On another note,” Vic said, suddenly slightly unsettled about the fact that there was another skeleton inside of her. “How was your date?”

Maya rolled her eyes. “Clingy,” she answered. “I know it’s a stereotype, but I was terrified if I agreed to a second date, she would bring a U-Haul. She was already talking about how I absolutely had to meet her mom. This is why I don’t date, ladies. Back to treating myself on Wednesdays.”

“I guess I’ll get back to hiding in my room on Thursday mornings,” Andy returned. “She really wanted you to meet her mom, on the second date?”

Maya nodded enthusiastically. “Cling-y,” she enunciated.

“Lucas hasn’t even met my parents,” Vic said.

Both Maya and Andy turned to her. “What?” They said in unison.

“They live in Puyallup,” It’s quite the drive down there.”

“That’s only forty-five minutes,” Maya said. “You’re having a kid with him and you still haven’t introduced him to your parents?”

“I will,” Vic said. “On my birthday.”

“Because nothing can go wrong with that,” came Maya’s sarcastic response.

“My parents can’t be mean on my birthday,” Vic said. “I’m pretty sure it’s like a rule that people have to be nice to you on your birthday.”

Maya pulled a face. “That’s not really a rule, but it might work.”

“The worst my dad will do is show him his gun collection, which is absurdly massive, by the way. He likes to hunt. I’m more concerned about meeting his mom the following week.”

“Ooh,” Maya said. “Meeting the moms are the worst. I mean, what are the chances that Lucas has two ex-wives because his mom is difficult to deal with. I mean, there are monster-in-laws.”

“Thanks, Maya,” Vic said sarcastically. “That really makes me feel better.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Maya said. “And if it isn’t, well that’s not really your problem. You don’t have to see her everyday or anything.”

“Touche,” Andy said. “Maybe that’s the secret to relationships.”

“Not seeing each other everyday?” Vic questioned.

“No, no,” Andy said, waving her hand casually and spilling beer onto the floor. "Don't date people that your parents already know. I mean, there was Jack and then there was Ryan and maybe, the common thread here is that they know my dad."

"Y'know," Maya said. Her words were a bit more slurred, and it was clear that she had crossed the line past tipsy and into drunk area. "That's definitely not the problem. What about handsome Brad?"

"My dad talked to him," Andy said, eyes wide. "For hours. Well, I know what I have to do now. Meet someone my dad doesn't know."

"Sounds great," Vic said, smirking and nodding.

"You guys are terrible," Maya said.

"But you love us!" Andy sang.

So, Andy was a little drunk too.

"Yes," Maya said seriously. "I love you, Andy, and I love you too, Vic, even if you do have two skeletons inside of you."

Vic laughed. "Okay, but about meeting the parents, what do I do?" She asked.

"I can't help you there," Andy said. "I met Ryan's mom when I was baptized. So, I've literally known her my whole life. She still invites me over for coffee."

"Maya?" Vic pressed.

"Well, I had this one ex-girlfriend," Maya said. "I met her mom and her stepdad. I think I brought flowers or something for the table. I asked Marley what topics to stay away from, and I avoided them like the plague . We ate, laughed, played board games afterward, and it went really well. Of course, the next day I found out that Marley was cheating on me with my best friend, so, to-may-to, to-mah-to."

"That was really helpful," Vic said sarcastically. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Maya said very seriously. 

"I say, avoid weird topics and if anything comes up, just revert to talking about the baby," Andy announced. "Whenever I go over Ryan's mom's house for coffee-"

Maya coughed.

"What? I don't go when Ryan's there," Andy said defensively. "Mrs. Tanner is really nice. Anyway, when I go over to Ryan's mom's house, all she does is talk about Ryan's niece and nephew. Grandmas love talking about babies. It's science."

"That's not bad advice, actually," Vic said. 

Andy grinned and waved her hands. "I'm a fountain of wisdom," she said. The beer is her hand sloshed down her shirt.

"Well, fountain of wisdom," Vic said, yawning. "I think it's time for you and Maya to get some rest and for me to go home.

"You sound like a mom," Maya said, grinning.

Vic laughed. "No, this sounds like a mom: kids, if you're not in bed in the next fifteen minutes, I'm revoking drinking privileges for our next ladies night."

Maya and Andy shared a look.

"She's probably kidding," Andy said. "But on the off chance she's not, we should go to bed."

Maya nodded, then stood. She swayed a little, but ultimately regained her balance.

"You good to let yourself out?" Maya asked. "I need to shower."

Vic nodded. "I'll be fine," she said.

"Goodnight, mom," Andy said, yawning as she shuffled to her room.

"Good night," Vic called after her. "Sweet dreams."

"See?" Maya said as she walked into her own room. "You're a mom already. Bean's lucky to have you."

Vic grinned. "Thanks, Maya. Sleep tight."

"Good night, Mom," Maya said, turning to face Vic. "I'm going to slam the door because I was a cute kid, but now I'm a moody teenager." Maya entered the bathroom and did, indeed, slam the door.

Vic laughed.

-X-

Lucas looked more like a sixteen year old boy about to pick up his date for prom and less like the adult that he was. Vic notes that he seemed to be shaking in his slacks and polo shirt. 

“Calm down,” Vic said. 

“What if your parents hate me?” Lucas asked. He even sounded nervous. It was unsettling almost, and so far from the Lucas that Vic knew. 

Vic smiled. “Just be yourself. They’ll like you just fine.”

The two of them stepped out of the car and walked up the front porch.

The door swung open before Vic could even knock

A moment later Zachary was in her arms. She hugged him tight.

“I missed you!” He signed as they pulled away.

“Missed you too!” Vic replied. She gestured to Lucas. “This is my boyfriend, L-U-C-A-S,” she signed.

“Nice to meet you,” Zach signed with a smile.

Lucas nodded, and then he turned back to Zach and carefully signed, “Nice to meet you.” 

Zach grinned and then stuck out his hand for Lucas to shake. Lucas took it. 

Zach stared at Lucas for a long moment, his judgement written all over his face. “Your boyfriend is old,” Zach signed.

Vic snorted.

“What’d he say?” Lucas asked.

Zach snickered.

Vic didn’t get a chance to answer before she heard the familiar squeal of wheelchair wheels.

“Victoria!” Cassandra shouted.

Vic squatted so that her younger sister could hug her.

“This is my sister, Cassie,” Vic said.

“Hi,” Cassandra said.

“Hello,” Lucas said, sticking out his hand for Cassandra to shake.

Cassandra obliged, and then the four of them moved into the living room.

Dad was sitting on the couch and mom was standing next to him.

“Hi,” Victoria said.

“Mom, Dad,” Vic said. “This is my boyfriend, Lucas. Lucas, this is my mom, Rose, and my Dad, Matthew.”

Lucas waved. “I’m glad to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”

Dad stood and walked over to shake Lucas’s hand. “Nice to meet you too,” he said.

If Dad was cutting off circulation, Lucas hid it well.

Vic turned to her mom.

“Can you come help me in the kitchen?” Mom asked.

Vic froze. Lucas was going to get the shovel talk. Of course he was.

“Yes,” Vic said . “I can come help out if the kitchen.” She gave Lucas a sympathetic glance. He was on his own for this. 

Lucas grimaced ever so slightly, and Vic didn’t blame him. Her dad was intimidating.

Vic inhaled softly, chuckling to herself. “Don’t kill him,” she signed to him. “My baby needs a dad.”

-X-

Lucas was unsure how to take in the man sitting before him. It was just the two of them in the living room.

“Y’know,” Matthew Hughes began. “I’m not one for Shovel Talks. Me threatening you isn’t going to change your behavior if you’re already a jackass. Will it intimidate you? Maybe, but probably not. You’re a grown ass man who could probably take me in a fight any day. And beyond that, Vicky is an adult. She’s perfectly capable of making her owns decisions. We’ve talked about everything with her, and we support her.But don’t get me wrong. I’m furious that you’re her boss and the effect this has had on her career. She loves being a firefighter, and it kills me that she’s being shunned by her fellow firefighters at this moment. I know misogyny is rampant in the force, but it doesn’t make me any less angry when I see you. Look, Lucas, I’m sure that you are a great man. I mean, obviously, if you’re willing to run into burning buildings to save lives or climb trees for cats. But I do have questions.”

Lucas let out a small sigh of relief. At least Matthew hadn’t decided to show him a gun collection or mention that he was special forces for 30 years or something equally terrifying. “Ask away sir,” Lucas said, carefully lifting his jaw.

“At the risk of being a cliche, what are your intentions with Vicky? I’m not old fashioned and could care less when or if you get married, but what plans do you have for the future, beyond having a child together.”

Lucas furrowed his brows thoughtfully. “I am going to provide for her and for my son, regardless of the outcome of our relationship. I’m letting her take the lead on the speed and setting of our relationship because I’m aware of the issues with our power dynamic. But I, um, I” Lucas froze. He had just realized it and his eyes went wide. He loved her. He loved Vic.

Matthew was waiting him to respond.

Lucas tried to figure out how to finish the sentence without saying ‘I love you’ for the first time to Vic’s dad.

Lucas floundered for a moment and Matthew smiled sympathetically.

He lowered his voice, even though the only other person in the room was Zachary and he was completely and totally engrossed in his tablet.

“You love her, don’t you?” Matthew asked.

Lucas could only nod.

“And you haven’t told her?” Matthew pressed.

Lucas shook his head.

“You should,” Matthew said. “Vic is, she worries, and she would like that.”

“I will,” Lucas said, and he swallowed, willing the lump in his throat to go down.

Matthew smiled at Lucas, and it was warm and genuine. The two of them sat for a long moment.

“Oh!” Matthew said suddenly. “You might be able to kick my old ass, but I’m warning you now if you hurt her, Vicky’s sister’s will probably beat the shit out of you and Hannah has a 1st degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. I’d be careful if I were you, just a heads up.” Matthew stood up from the couch and smirked.

-X-

Lucas Ripley didn't suck, which wasn't actually saying much. In fact, Cassandra Hughes was well aware of the fact that 'not sucking' was pretty much putting the "bar" on the ground. But they had yet to start dinner, so Cassandra couldn't really make a formal analysis beyond a first impression, and he had done shockingly well with first impressions. 

Dad didn't hate him, which was slightly surprising given how pissed he was when he initially found out that Vic was sleeping with the Fire Chief, which made sense given the power dynamics that the situation procured.

And really, if Cassie was honest. It was Mom that Lucas had to impress. Dad wasn't the one to witness Vic crying over Lucas, and Mom took her kids crying very seriously.

"So, Lucas," Mom said. And Cassie recognized the tone. Lucas was going to be cross examined.

"Yes," Lucas said sheepishly.

"How long have you been a firefighter?"

It was mom's not so subtle way of trying to ask Lucas how old he was under the pretense of curiosity. Vic had kept her lips sealed on the exact age gap, and Mom was curious.

"It'll be twenty-one years next month," Lucas answered. The answer was vague enough that it really only lowered his age category to a ten year range. He could be as young as 39 or possibly in his late forties if he went to college and worked before he joined the fire department.

Mom nodded. "Were they all in Seattle?"

"Yes ma'am," Lucas answered.

"Did you go to school here?" Mom asked.

Vic shot Mom a desperate glare. 

"I did actually," Lucas answered. "I graduated from the University of Seattle with a degree in civil engineering, but I got recruited to join the fire academy during my senior year. And, um, I'm 44 years old."

Zach actually choked on his pasta, and Vic made a big show of firmly patting his back.

Dad hid his smirk by shoving a large piece of garlic bread into his mouth.

Cassie took a long sip of water to hide her own smile.

Lucas Ripley had balls.

"Guess I wasn't exactly subtle there," Mom said.

"You weren't," Zach agreed, his voice still recovering from the swallowed pasta.

"I'm willing to answer any questions you have," Lucas said.

Mom eyed him curiously, and Cassie wondered if the interrogation was going to continue. Instead, Mom simply hummed and took a bite of her pasta.

An awkward silence fell across the table.

After an excruciatingly long minute, Cassie couldn't handle it.

"So, Lucas," she said. "Vic says you're from Australia. What's the deal with vegemite?"

Lucas grinned. "It's good with breakfast," he said. "It's delicious."

"As someone with tastebuds," Zach piped up. "I respectfully disagree."

"You've tried some?" Lucas asked.

Zach nodded. "Cassie has an internet friend from Australia. She sent us a care package with Australian food. The vegemite was weird."

"It's not for everyone," Lucas acquiesced. "It's an acquired taste. It's definitely better on toast than avocado?"

Zach made a face. "You don't like avocado?" Zach asked. "But you live in Seattle. It's basically a requirement?"

Cassie grinned as Zach and Lucas began a debate about the merits of popular food items. Vic offered running commentary on Lucas's absurd eating habits, and both Mom and Dad sometimes piped up their opinions.

Lucas was funny. Cassie had to give Vic that, and he was charming, and not in the smarmy way that people in power sometimes are. He was genuinely charming. Cassie could see why Vic was in love with him.

And Vic was most definitely in love with Lucas, even if she refused to use that word in the group chat. It was clear, just watching the way that Vic looked at him. She was completely in love with Lucas, and from the looks of it, Lucas was absolutely smitten with Vic too.

He had definitely gone above and beyond the low bar of not sucking, and he was almost in the 'kinda cool' territory.

The conversation shifted from food to the newest Captain America movie, and Vic and Zach ended up in a heated argument about who was right and why. Both of the resorted to signing, and their fingers were flying as they argued.

Cassie turned to Lucas. "Imagine this, but with seven of us, and at every family dinner," she said. "Perks of having lawyers for parents."

Lucas grinned.

"So," Mom said, ignoring Zach and Vic. "Vic told me that you go hiking sometimes."

Lucas nodded. "I haven't had much time lately, and I don't have anyone to hike with, but I do enjoy hiking. We used to go a lot when I was a teenager, and I stuck with it."

"Well, if you do ever get free time, there's a conversation group that goes once a month during early fall and late spring," Mom said. "We also do some clean up around the mountains."

It was Mom's proverbial olive branch, her sign of acceptance. Obviously, she had decided that Lucas was okay. (Not that she was going to do anything if Lucas wasn't okay. Vic was having a kid with him, which meant Mom was going to try to get along with Lucas.) And Cassie knew what had made Mom offer it.

Cassie looked up, catching Mom's eye.

"You saw that?" Cassie signed, so that Lucas wouldn't know what they were saying.

Mom nodded, then quickly signed back: "He loves her.”

-X-

“She’s going to love you,” Lucas reassured Vic as the two of them sat outside of Lucas’s mom’s house. 

“What if she doesn’t?” Vic asked. 

“You don’t have to worry about that because she’s going to you,” Lucas repeated.

“I am pretty loveable,” Vic said with a laugh. 

“That you are,” Lucas said. 

Vic’s breath hitched and she could see the exact moment where Lucas processed what he just said.

“We can talk about this later,” Vic said, unbuckling her seatbelt, suddenly eager to get out of the car. 

“That we can,” Lucas agreed, unbuckling his own seatbelt. 

The two of them stepped out of the car. 

Vic breathed in deeply. She could do this.

-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t a cliffhanger. I just could t figure out how to write the scene with Ripley’s mom and it was stressing me out, so I'll rework it and post it next week. 
> 
> Loved it? Hated it? I will freely admit that this isn’t the best thing I’ve ever written. But hey, you gotta our toieself out there sometimes.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all. So, as y'all can see, I have officially given up on a Friday posting schedule. This semester is already beating my ass and this week was no different. I had to study for a quiz over neuroanatomy and it took every part of me not to cry. I literally had no free time this week and what little time I had was taken up my meetings and studying. I would've finished yesterday, but i had a Quidditch tournament from 0800-1800 and then a formal immediately after that. (Like I said, free is a foreign concept.) 
> 
> I have mixed feelings about this chapter, but it was fun to write. 
> 
> My lack of free time yields to this being barely edited, so if you catch a mistake, please don't hesitate to tell me. I won't take offense. 
> 
> This chapter was brought to you by Gatorade, dark chocolate brownies, questionable takeout, and an average of 4.5 hours of sleep a night! Yay me!
> 
> Enjoy!

If Julie Ripley was honest with herself, she would admit that when she first heard about Lucas’s relationship with a twenty-seven year old, she assumed that he was having some sort of mid-life crisis. And well, if Lucas had been any of Julie’s other children, she would have continued to assume that the relationship was indeed the result of a midlife crisis.

But Lucas was her Boy Scout, her Type 1 wing 9 child. He was, by far, the most rational of her four children. Lucas was the type of child who, upon asking to go to a party, would create an extensively detailed list of pros and cons to the proposed event. He was honest, fair, and logical.

Which meant, that he wasn’t going to enter a relationship without solid reason. 

Furthermore, Lucas loved his job, a lot, and he wasn’t the type to risk his job for just anyone. He had weighed out the pros and cons and had decided that this woman, this Victoria, was worth it to risk everything for, and for that, well, Julie Ripley had already decided that she liked Victoria. 

Aaliyah, arguably Lucas’s favorite niece, seemed to be on the same page.

“I bet she’s really nice,” Aaliyah announced. “And super pretty. I asked mom to ask Uncle Luke for pictures, but mom didn’t want to. She said I could wait.” Aaliyah huffed. “I hate waiting.”

She collapsed onto the couch in a dramatic heap.

Julie had to laugh at her granddaughter’s antics. Aaliyah was certainly a bit of a drama queen, but she was also incredibly sweet.

“You’ll see Uncle Luke’s girlfriend soon enough,” Olivia reassured Aaliyah as she stepped out of the kitchen. “Go wash your hands and you can help me set the table.”

Aaliyah pulled a face, but she stood and walked toward the bathroom.

“She’s so dramatic,” Julie said with a chuckle.

Olivia smiled. “There’s certainly never a dull moment in my house,” she replied.

“Dinner will be interesting,” Julie said.

“I should really just duct tape Liyah’s mouth shut,” Olivia said with a laugh. “I really tried not to bring her tonight, but Naomi was supposed to watch her tonight, but she got caught up at work, and Jayden has an away soccer game. Not that I would leave Jayden and Aaliyah home alone together. I like having a house that isn’t destroyed.”

Julie didn’t have a chance to respond because the doorbell rang.

“They’re here!” Aaliyah called in an excited, sing-songy voice.

“Help me finish the table,” Olivia responded as Julie walked toward the door.

She opened it and found her son standing there next to whom Julie knew was Victoria. Victoria was gorgeous, and she was beaming, even if she was fidgeting to hide how nervous she was.

“Come in, come in,” Julie said. “How are you?”

“Good,” Lucas replied as Julie wrapped him into a hug and squeezed tightly.

Julie pulled back and then turned to Victoria. “May I hug you?” Julie asked. 

Victoria looked taken aback for a moment and she looked almost like a deer in headlights.

“You can say no,” Julie reassured her gently. “But I promise I don’t bite.”

“I’m okay with hugs,” Victoria said quickly. “I was just a little surprised, that’s all.”

Julie gave Victoria a quick hug so as not to make her uncomfortable. Then she took a small step back.

“Told you my mom was a hugger,” Lucas whispered loudly, eyeing Julie as he did so. 

Victoria grinned back at Lucas, and Julie knew immediately what Lucas saw in her. Her smile was simply radiant.

“Dinner is ready, and I think that they just finished set-”

Julie didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence before she was cut off by a yell of, “Uncle Luke!”

Lucas barely had a moment to prepare himself before Aaliyah had launched herself into his arms.

“Give a guy warning, eh?” Lucas said with a laugh as he lifted Aaliyah into the air. “You’re getting bigger by the day, I swear. Must be because you eat all your vegetables?”

Aaliyah wrapped her arms around Lucas’s neck . “Yup!” She said cheerfully. “And grandma made asparagus today, which is my favorite.”

“That’s great,” Lucas said. He shifted Aaliyah in his arms and Aaliyah turned to face Victoria. 

“Are you my uncle’s girlfriend?” Aaliyah asked.

“Yes,” Victoria said, a blush rising in her cheeks.

“You’re very pretty,” Aaliyah announced.

Victoria’s cheeks went a little redder.

“I’m Aaliyah,” she continued. “But some people call me Liyah.”

“I’m Julie,” Julie said, realizing that she had failed to introduce herself given all the earlier excitement.

“Mum hugging before she even introduced herself?” Olivia said as she entered the living room. “I think that’s a new record, mum.” Olivia smiled and turned to Victoria. “I’m Olivia,” she said, sticking her hand out. “But most people call be Libby or Liv. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Victoria replied.

"The food is done and the table is ready," Olivia said. "Let's eat!"

-X-

Victoria's fears were unfounded. Julie Ripley basically tied with Mother Teresa for the sweetest human being on the planet. (Although, Julie Ripley certainly had a filthier mouth than Mother Teresa ever did.) And it wasn't fake or a condescending sweet, Vic had dealt with that. Julie Ripley was genuine.

And she was an incredible cook. Vic didn’t like asparagus, but Julie Ripley’s asparagus tasted divine. 

Dinner went by quickly, and Vic sat back and enjoyed the banter between Lucas and his younger sister. Olivia had no shortage of embarrassing stories about Lucas, and Vic enjoyed hearing about Lucas's childhood antics. Apparently, he had been a perfectionist even in childhood, and he had always been very particular about things.

Dessert almost arrived too quickly, but Vic was glad for the break in conversation as Julie, Olivia, and Lucas stood to get the chocolate cake from the kitchen.

Aaliyah was staring at her over the table.

"Hi," Vic said, waving.

"Hi," Aaliyah said cheerfully. She scrunched her eyebrows, looking at Vic with a look that Vic could only describe as scrutinizing.

"Do you love my uncle?" Aaliyah blurted, and Vic had not been expecting that.

"What makes you say that?" Vic asked, avoiding the question. She wasn't, after all, going to let a six year old make her panic about her love life.

"Well," Aaliyah said. She lowered her voice to a dramatic whisper. "My brother Jayden is fourteen, so he's old enough to have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, if he wants. But he has a girlfriend. She's pretty, and nice . But two days ago, I was supposed to be sleeping, but I had to use the bathroom so I got up, Jayden was talking to Mama about being in love. And Mama says, when someone is in love, they get a special look in their eyes and they smile a lot more and they laugh when something the other person says isn't even funny. There were other things too, but I don't know them because Mom found me and said it's not good to eavesdrop. Anyway, you smile a lot at Uncle Luke, and you look really happy at him. And Uncle Luke tells really weird jokes, but you laugh anyway. And Mom and Grandma didn't laugh, so that means it wasn't just a grown up joke." Aaliyah took a deep breath, and Vic wondered if Aaliyah had done any actually breathing during her impassioned speech. "So..." Aaliyah finished. "Are you in love with Uncle Luke?"

Vic didn't get a chance to finish because Lucas, Olivia, and Julie had returned to the dining room.

"Are you bothering Miss Vic?" Olivia asked.

Aaliyah shook her head.

"She and I were just talking," Vic said. She smiled warmly at Aaliyah, who beamed right back.

Olivia gave Aaliyah a skeptic look, and Aaliyah just grinned a little bit wider.

Vic bit into her cake. It tasted incredible, and the conversation around the table filtered around her. Vic didn't focus much on the conversation. She was too absorbed in her own thoughts.She was in love with Lucas, and it was so obvious that even a six year old was able to point it out.

-X-

 **Jace:** You awake?

 **Vic:** Yes, actually

 **Jace:** Can I call you?

Vic didn’t have a chance to respond before her laptop was ringing with a video call.

Vic clicked answer and then she grinned as her brother’s face filled screen.

“Jace!” She yelled.

“Hey,” Jace said. He sounded tired. It was after midnight in Seattle, but Vic had had a long nap earlier and she hadn’t been able to sleep.

“What time is it there?” Vic asked.

Jace sighed. “It’s 2:37 in the morning”, he replied.

“Homework that bad?” Vic pressed.

“I procrastinated too much on Saturday and I regret it,” Jace affirmed. He yawned. “But I’m taking my mandated twenty minute break and I need to talk to someone or I will sleep.” He reached for something off screen and Vic watched as he took a long sip of coffee.

“Coffee?” Vic said arching an eyebrow. “This late?”

“I need something to keep me stimulated,” Jace replied. “My meds wore off hours ago and I’m not taking another dose because I actually want to sleep when I finish this.”

“What are you working on?” Vic asked.

“I’m trying to take notes on this case for class tomorrow,” Jace said with a huff.

“What’s the case about?” Vic asked.

“It’s nothing interesting, really. It’s boring.” Jace’s eyes shifted to left, then to the right, a clear sign that he was hiding something. When Jace was tired, he was really bad at lying and keeping secrets. It was an entirely different matter when he was wide awake, but when they were kids, all it took for Vic to figure out secrets was to keep him past midnight.

“Really now?” Vic said. She fixed him with a hard stare.

Jace squirmed under her gaze. It was satisfying to know that she could still intimate her younger brother, even from 2,000 miles away.

“You really don’t want to hear about my cases,” Jace reiterated. “It’s so many pages of legal debriefs and it’s unbearable.”

“Try me,” Vic said. “I don’t believe for one second this is about you not wanting to vote be, given that you talked to me for an hour about a case for your Torts class that I didn’t understand.”

Jace huffed again. “Fine,” He said. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He glanced at something off to the side of his computer. “The case I’m working on involves a pregnant woman who was in labor at the hospital. She was accompanied by her partner at the time, to whom she was not married. She experienced complications during labor, which lead to her being rushed to the OR. The doctor who did her surgery asked the child’s father, the woman’s partner, who should be saved in case of emergency. The father said the child. Apparently, he and his girlfriend had had conversations about this prior to delivery. She wanted her child to live. The baby lived and the mother died from complications. However, given that the couple wasn’t married, the child’s dad didn’t have legal power of attorney. Thus, he should have never been asked to make that decision, so the baby’s grandparents sued the doctor and the hospital for medical malpractice. However, the doctor maintains that his professional decision would have been the same without the input of the child’s father, but that can’t necessarily be proven.”

Vic shifted uncomfortably. She could see now, why Jace didn’t want to tell her about the case he was working on. 

“And that’s why I didn’t want to tell you,” Jace said. He rolled his eyes and took a long swig from his mug of coffee.

“I’m fine,” Vic said. “It’s something I need to be thinking about. Prepare for the worst; hope for the best.” She paused. “So, did the parents have a case when they sued?”

Jace sighed. “My dude, if I could answer that, I’d be in bed right now. Honestly, at this point, I’m considering giving up and just hoping my professor doesn’t call on me for this case.”

“You should go to bed,” Vic suggested. Jace looked exhausted.

“Can’t,” Jace replied. “Even if I put away health law, I still have Evidence to read. Like, I said: I procrastinated. I drove to Dallas on Saturday and I wasn’t planning on spending the night with Eli, so I didn’t bring my stuff. But then I spent the night and went to church with Eli in the morning, so now I’m back with nine hours of homework. Enough about me and my trouble. How’s my future Instagram capital-” Jace paused for effect. “I mean nephew.”

Vic rolled her eyes. “Good,” she said. “He’s kicking up a storm.” As if to prove Vic's point, Bean placed a well targeted kick near Vic's bladder. At the rate, Bean was going to be a first rate soccer player.

"I'm glad to hear that," Jace said, relieved. "And you're okay too?" He asked.

"I'm fine," Vic said seriously, and she knew now why Jace called. Like Vic, Jace was prone to anxiety, and his stress over hypothetical situations was far worse than Vic's was. The case must have unnerved something in him. "I'm good, Jace," Vic repeated. "Me and Bean are in my room trying to find something on Netflix."

"I've heard Lion is pretty good," Jace suggested, trying to change the subject, but the relief in his voice was readily evident.

"Will it make me cry?" Vic asked.

"Definitely," Jace replied.

"That's a no then," Vic said. "I'm sick of crying so much because of hormones, and I'm not going to watch a movie that's going to leave me in tears."

"Carmen Sandiego is actually really good," Jace responded.

Vic arched an eyebrow at him.

"What?" Jace said. "One hundred percent of my mental power goes into school. I don’t like to watch tv shows that require complex thought. They make me sleepy. Plus, blame Eli for making me watch it."

"You are..."

Vic didn't get to finish her statement because she heard a beeping from her laptop.

Jace glanced at something offscreen.

"My break is over," he said with a wistful sigh. "I'm going to do some more reading and hopefully catch a nap sometime." He yawned. "It's going to be a long ass day."

"Good luck," Vic said.

"I'm gonna need it," Jace replied. "I love you, talk later?"

"Love you too," Vic replied. "And you can call whenever, just give me a heads up."

"Will do," Jace replied. He waved, and then he clicked out of the video chat.

Vic's breath hitched in her throat. She and Lucas needed to talk, about their future, about their relationship, about their medical decisions, about the accidental 'I love you,' about everything.

They needed to talk, even if the very idea of talking about hypotheticals made it hard for Vic to breathe.

-X-

"If there was a complication during labor and the doctor asked you to choose between me and Bean, who would you choose?"

Lucas was taken aback.

He hadn't exactly been expecting to hear this question when he had gotten up to use the bathroom at 4am. Of course, his bathroom trip had derailed because he was craving Frosted Mini Wheats, but again, Lucas wasn't expecting to be hit with an existential hypothetical first thing in the morning, especially on his day off. 

"Is there a right way to answer that?" Lucas tried for light humor, even if the thought of losing either Bean or Vic chilled him to his very core.

"I'm serious," Vic said.

She sat down at Lucas's table. "Me or Bean?"

"What would you want me to say?" Lucas asked. He didn't know how to respond.

"Bean," she answered. "I would want you to ask the doctors to save Bean."

Lucas breath hitched in his throat. "I don't think I have that authority. It would be up to your parents."

"Not if I transfer my Power of Attorney to you, until Bean is born at least," Vic replied. "I know my parents would do what I want, but in that situation, I don't want to risk them not being there and having to drive an hour or whatever to get here in time. They don't always give people a choice, but if they do, I want them to ask you, and I want you to tell them to save Bean."

"Save Bean," Lucas whispered. "You want them to save the baby." He tested the words out on his tongue. They felt heavy, like lead . It was almost painful to say it out loud.

Vic nodded.

"I love you," Lucas blurted, surprising even himself with how easily it spilt from his lips. He loved Victoria, and Lucas had known this for almost three weeks at this point, from the moment that Matthew Hughes had pointed it out. Lucas loved Vic, and the thought of losing her terrified him more than he thought possible.

"I am pretty lovable," Vic replied. She laughed a little. "I love you, too."

"You don't have to say it just because I did," Lucas said quickly.

Vic stood and walked over to him. She gently grabbed his chin and stroked his beard. Lucas looked down at Victoria.

"I know," she said. "But I do love you, and I've known it for almost a month now."

Lucas laughed lightly."I've known for three weeks, but I didn't want to say anything, because I didn't want to mess anything up. We make quite a pair, don't we?"

Vic chuckled. "We do," she said. She kissed the corner of Lucas's mouth. "I'm serious though, Lucas. If there's any choice, any option at all, I want you to pick Bean."

"Okay," Lucas replied. He didn't trust himself to say anything else.

"This is purely hypothetical," Vic said. "Statistically, Bean and me will be fine, but..."

"Hope for the best, prepare for the worst," Lucas finished. It was the motto of every first responder. It hurt, to consider the possibility of losing Vic or Bean, but it was better this way, to know now, just in case, to save himself from the agony of having to make a decision. Here, now, it was Vic's choice.

"I love you," Lucas said. He pressed a hand to Vic's stomach. "And I love you, Bean. I can't wait to meet you."

Vic smiled at Lucas and then she placed his hand over his. "I love you both," she said. "I have another question, however."

"Yes?" Lucas said, suddenly a little more terrified.

"What are we going to do when Bean is born," Vic said.

Lucas blinked.

"About housing," Vic clarified. "I mean, we've either been spending the night at your place or my place, but what are we going to do when he's born? Where should we set up the nursery? And how will sleeping arrangements work for that?"

Lucas would be lying if he said that he hadn't thought about what was going to happen when Bean was born.

Lucas had more space. He had two spare bedrooms, one was close to the master bedroom and perfect for a nursery. "When does your lease end?" Lucas asked, by way of avoiding the question.

"December 31st," Vic replied. "The baby will be here long before my lease is up."

Lucas scratched his beard. "You could move here," he suggested. "We don't even have to _move in,_ move in together. I can sleep in the spare bedroom and you can have the master, if that's what you prefer. I just, I think it will be easier if we're all in one place. That way, we don't have to worry about leaving things at one place or the other. But it's up to you," Lucas finished awkwardly.

"It wouldn't make any sense to have two nurseries," Vic said. "Financially, it's a nightmare, and you're the one that has a mortgage and not a lease. But, I wouldn't mind sleeping in the same bedroom, if that's okay with you."

Lucas nodded. "That's good. It's good."

"Good," Vic said.

"Good," Lucas replied.

"Good," Vic repeated.

"Good," Lucas affirmed.

They both stared at each other for a long moment before they dissolved into laughter.

"So, we're moving in together," Lucas said when he caught his breath.

"We are moving in together," Victoria agreed.

Lucas breathed slowly. He and Vic were moving in together, and the thought terrified him as much as it excited him.

-X-

Maya was halfway through replying to an email from Frankel when her laptop pinged. 

It was a Facebook notification.

_You’ve been added to a group with Gabriela Hughes, Andrea Herrera, and Hannah Hughes._

Huh. Interesting.

Maya clicked on the notification.

 **Gabriela** : Hi, I’m Gabby. I know this all seems super random, but I found you on Vicky’s friend list and I know that you work with her.

 **Gabriela** : I was planning on hosting a (surprise) baby shower for Vicky and was wondering if you wanted to help plan. Vicky mentioned that she is super close to her work family, and I think that Vicky would love it if her two families came together to celebrate her baby. I was planning on doing a co-ed shower, so feel free to let the rest of the team know, and they can help with planning and stuff. I just wanted to message you and ask about what dates work for you. I'm traveling for the first three weeks of June, but any Saturday or Sunday afternoon after that would be absolutely great. Just lemme know! I look forward to planning with you!

 **Gabriela** : This is Vicky's older sister by the way. I also added, Hannah, who's the oldest.

 **Andy** : Maya and I were just talking about planning a shower. We would love to work with you.

Maya wouldn't exactly say that they were planning anything. They had mainly just had a discussion on whether or not it was appropriate to have booze at a baby shower. But... they were planning on hosting a shower for Vic at sometime in July. It made sense to combine the two, and hopefully Vic would appreciate having a surprise shower. For someone who sucked at keeping secrets, she really enjoyed surprises.

 **Maya** : Sounds great! I'm in!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be basically only fluff. (I'm terrible with fluff, so send prayers.)
> 
> Loved this chapter? Hated it? Please comment. ~~I crave external validation~~. 
> 
> As always, hit me up on tumblr @cyrus-breeze if you want to talk anything Station 19. I'm dying for more S19 and I would love to talk fandom with literally anyone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this chapter took so long. I spent like 99% of my weekend studying for my neuroscience exam. Which, by the way, I failed the everloving _fuck_ out of. But it's fine, I'm fine. _cries_
> 
> This chapter got away from me and got long. I tried to do some outsider PoV to describe the baby shower because every time I tried to write the bulk of the event from either Vic or Lucas's PoV, it somehow managed to fall apart. I don't _hate_ this chapter, but it's not my favorite. It's a little bit of a mess. 
> 
> Anyway, as always, this shit is unbeta'd so feel free to point out any glaring mistakes. 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter was brought to you by my hatred of neuroanatomy, very berry gummy worms, random acts of kindness, and one (1) philly cheese steak sandwich.

Vic noticed something different about Lucas that she couldn’t quite place. He seemed more, melancholy today, than he did usually. It was almost as if he was both happy and sad, and Vic couldn’t figure out why. They both had the day off, and, while Lucas was on call, it had been a relatively slow day. 

“Are you okay?” Vic finally asked as she watched Lucas solemnly clean the kitchen, his face caught in the weird place of trying to decide whether to smile or to cry.

“I’m… fine,” Lucas announced as he placed the rag in the sink. 

Vic eyed him skeptically. “You seem off today,” she said. 

Lucas sighed, then, he rubbed his beard. “Today is the fourteenth anniversary of my divorce from Eva,” he said. “It just, makes me feel weird, I guess. I’m not sad about it,” Lucas clarified quickly. “I just don’t know how to feel.” 

“You can talk to me about it,” Vic said, and she meant it. “I’m not going to get jealous over a relationship that ended more than a decade ago.” 

“I know,” Lucas said. “It’s just, I didn’t really talk about it with anyone, not even my Mum. It felt weird: two failed marriages in less than a decade’s time. That’s a bad track record for anyone to have, and it isn’t like I had bad role models. My parents were together for nineteen years before my dad died. They loved each other and I felt like a failure because of my relationships.” 

Vic paused thoughtfully. “My parents have been married for thirty-two years, and none of us really have the best track record with relationships. My oldest sister broke up with her fiance a week before their wedding. Gabby has been having an on-again, off-again relationship with her daughter’s dad for the better part of a decade. And, I’ve well, I haven’t had the greatest luck with relationships. I don’t think it’s because any of us failed, per se. I just think it’s because we weren’t with the right people.”

“Come to think of it,” Lucas said. “I don’t think the Ripleys have had the greatest luck with relationships either. I mean, my brother is divorced, but he was married for fifteen years, and Sophie and her ex split before her boys were even born. I think Olivia’s doing the best out of all of us. She and Naomi have been together for 11 years, and she never even witnessed my parents together, so…” Lucas trailed off. 

There was a lengthy pause, in which both of them seemed prepared to say something. 

“I thought that Laura was the one,” Lucas finally spoke. “She was one of my first friends after I moved to the States. We started dating during our sophomore year of high school. We were really good together, and it was my idea to get married after we graduated. My mum tried to talk me out of it, but Laura’s parents were high school sweethearts and they had been married for 27 years. It seemed like a good thing to do. We lasted until we graduated college, and Laura wanted to go out of state for her Master’s degree, and I didn’t want to leave Seattle, and that kinda revealed a rift in our marriage that had been growing. I’m honestly surprised it lasted that long. We’re still friends, now, Facebook friends mostly, but we talk sometimes. She lives in Portland and she’s got two kids. Eva was, she was different…” 

Lucas trailed off, and Vic looked at him softly. It seemed painful for him, even thirteen years removed from the divorce. 

Lucas inhaled slowly. “I proposed to Eva after six months of dating, which, in hindsight, wasn’t the greatest idea. But I was in love, and there was nothing that could change that. So, we got married, and I quickly realized that things weren’t working out. I was married to my job, and I neglected Eva because of it. Eva and I got married because it was what we were supposed to do. All of our friends were getting married at the time. I don’t think either of our hearts were in it. I had just gotten promoted to lieutenant before we got married, and I cared a lot more about my work than I like to admit. Sullivan and I used to be good friends, but something happened. It’s his story to tell, but it drove a wedge between us, and I lost the only person I could talk to about the hazards of the job. I ended up with PTSD from a close call with death, and I didn’t know what to do. My marriage was already falling apart, and the fact that I wasn’t sleeping or eating or talking to Eva deepened the rift between us. I wasn’t surprised to find out one day that she had cheated on me. We tried again, for six months, but I was still dealing with my PTSD, and I knew that I was neglecting Eva. When she cheated again, it was the last straw, and we decided to split. It was messy, and it put me in a pretty bad place afterward, which was why I helped form peer group, so that firefighters could have somewhere to talk openly about their feelings and emotions, because it isn’t something we can usually talk to our spouses about. That was what helped me through my divorce with Eva. We don’t talk, but we’re friends on Facebook, and she’s doing well, I guess. But I don’t get why people tend to celebrate their divorce. I don’t want to still be married. We were both miserable, but I can’t bring myself to celebrate something that brought me so much pain.” 

“You don’t have to celebrate the anniversary,” Vic said. “God knows I don’t.” Vic paused. “I know I mentioned, awhile ago, that I haven’t really done the serious relationship thing. I have done it, once, and it didn’t go well. His name was Gabe, and he was probably one of my best friends. I met him at orientation before I started college. He just sat down next to me and started talking, and we were essentially instant friends after that. It seemed like the logical next step, after a year, to start dating, and I wish we hadn’t. It was good for the first two years, and then everything went downhill from there. Gabe was dealing with depression and other mental health issues, and my own anxiety problems had started to flare up. It was a really bad time for both of us, and we ended up taking out or problems on each other. Our relationship didn’t end so much as it imploded.” Vic paused. She hated talking about Gabe to other people. The failed relationship still weighed heavily on her, and it was difficult to talk about even now.

“Gabe had a really shitty day one day, and he came home and wrecked our apartment,” Vic continued evenly. “It was after a year of constant arguing and yelling on both of our parts. He had _destroyed_ a lot of things, and I knew that this was the end. I told him, ‘I think you need to leave,’ and he said, ‘Yeah, I do.’” Vic felt a tight lump in her throat as she continued to speak. “And so I drove him to an inpatient care center, and we had this unspoken realization that this was the end of our relationship. I hugged him goodbye, and two weeks later, he came by and picked up his stuff when I wasn’t there. He got better; I got better, and we both realized that we never should have dated each other. Our friendship never went back to the way it was, but he and I talk occasionally. He lives in Sacramento.” 

It still hurt, thinking about Gabe. Vic had loved him, but ultimately, they weren’t right for each other and it had torn them apart. It had hurt, but Vic would go through it all over again if the end result meant being here, in Lucas’s kitchen, eleven weeks away from the being able to hold their son in her arms. 

“I was just thinking,” Lucas began. 

“That’s dangerous,” Vic couldn’t help respond, trying to lighten the mood. 

Lucas laughed. “I was thinking about today and how, even though my divorces, both of them, were extremely painful, I learned from them. I learned about myself and also about what _not_ to do in the future. But I also, uh, realized that without them, I wouldn’t be here with you, and with Bean.” 

Vic smiled at Lucas. “It’s like that Rascal Flatts song.” 

Lucas arched an eyebrow. 

“You know,” Vic said. “God Bless the Broken Road.” 

At Lucas’s perplexed stare, Vic chuckled. “Do you live under a rock?” She asked. “I feel like everyone knows that song. The one that goes like, ‘God blessed the broken road- that led me straight to you.” Vic sang softly. 

Lucas smiled. “It sounds familiar,” he said. “Maybe I’ve heard it on the radio.” 

Vic rolled her eyes. “You live under a rock,” she said. “I swear.” 

Lucas grinned at her. “I like it,” he said. “You’ll have to sing the entire thing for me one day.”

“I just might,” Vic said. “Or you can look it up on YouTube.” 

Lucas smirked. “I’d prefer it if you sang it.” He paused, looking into her eyes. “But the song is right.” 

Vic cocked her head. 

Lucas grinned at her. Then, he pressed a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. “God bless the road that led me to you.”

-X-

Vic could sense that something was off moment that Travis picked her up under the guise of “hanging out.” It made sense, given that Vic and Travis had hung out a less often now that the bar was no longer an option. They were supposed to go to the park for snow cones before they went to one of Grant’s catering events. 

It wouldn’t have been suspicious had Travis not been not-so-subtly checking his phone every five minutes. 

Still, Vic decided not to question him on it. 

“So,” Travis said, taking a sip of his snow cone. They were sitting on a park bench, which, at 29 weeks, Vic had to admit was not the most comfortable place to be. “How are things going with you and Ripley.” 

“I’ve moved most of my clothes to his house,” Vic said vaguely. “I’m kinda nervous to move everything else. It feels so… permanent.” 

“You don’t have to move,” Travis said matter-of-factly. “I’m a child of divorce; I lived in two homes before I was in preschool, and look how I turned out.” 

“It’s not that I don’t want to move,” Vic said slowly. “It’s just that my last relationship that involved cohabitation didn’t end well.” 

“Ripley isn’t Gabe,” Travis said. “And you’re different than you were six years ago.” 

“I know that,” Vic said. “It’s still hard to just… I don’t know. Lucas and I talked, and we don’t have the best track records with relationships. He’s been married twice, y’know. And I’ve only had one serious relationship that ended up crashing and burning.” 

“I get that,” Travis said. “It was hard, after Michael, to start a relationship with Grant because it felt like history was going to repeat itself and I was going to lose Grant in some way. But then I realized that I really liked Grant, and I wanted to give it my best shot.” Travis paused. “I mean, you do actually like Ripley, right?” He asked. 

Vic chuckled as she nodded. “I love him, actually,” Vic said. “I think that’s what makes everything so complicated.” 

“Do you see a future with him?” Travis asked. “I mean, you’re tied to him for eighteen years regardless, but do you want to be with him long term, I mean, marriage and all that.” 

Vic rubbed her stomach gently. “Marriage still seems like a long way off,” Vic said honestly. “I mean, Bean aside, we barely know each other and I don’t think I’m ready for marriage yet, and I’m not sure that Lucas wants to walk down the aisle a third time.” 

“I would honestly just take it one step at a time then,” Travis said. “I mean, you guys already have Bean, but it doesn’t mean you have to live at Lucas’s house all the time. If you want or need a break, then you can keep the lease on your apartment for a little while longer.” 

“I think that’s what I need to do,” Vic said. “Just to make myself feel better. Thanks, Trav.” 

Travis smiled at her. Then, Travis’s phone pinged. “We need to get going,” he said, glancing at the screen. “Grant’s event starts in about fifteen minutes.” 

“And your text message just reminded you of that?” Vic said skeptically. She really had no idea what was going on. 

“I forget things,” Travis said defensively. “It was a calendar alert.” 

Vic knew that it wasn’t a calendar alert. She had been around Travis long enough to know what his ringtones sounded like, but she wasn’t going to push the envelope. Travis stood, and Vic reached out her arm so that Travis could help her up. 

“Thanks,” she said as she stood onto her two feet. 

“No problem,” Travis said. 

Vic sighed. “I love Bean, but I’m so ready for him to be outside of me. I can’t even sleep most nights because apparently, when you sleep, your body releases a chemical that causes the baby to become more active. It’s nature’s worse catch-22.” 

“I’m sure it will be worth it when your little guy gets here,” Travis said as they walked to his car. 

“Of course it will be,” Vic said, rubbing her stomach. “I’m just saying that I wish Bean didn’t make me so uncomfortable.”

He opened the door for her and Vic climbed in. 

The event venue, as it turned out, was eight minutes away, and Travis made small talk on the ride there, chattering nervously in a way that made Vic wonder if something was actually up. 

“Let me text Grant and let him know that we’re here,” Travis said. He fired off a text. 

The two of them waited for several minutes until Grant poked his head out of the door and waved to them. Travis killed the engine of his car and then the two of them stepped out of the vehicle. 

“Hey,” Travis said when they got closer. 

“Hey, Trav; hi Vic,” Grant replied. He and Travis shared a brief kiss. Grant didn’t look like Vic expected a head chef to look before an event, but Grant was also surprising like that. Vic shrugged it off. 

“You ready?” Grant asked, turning to Vic. 

Vic nodded. “I’m excited,” she said. “What are you serving?” 

Grant froze. Then, he turned and glanced helplessly at Travis, who smiled. “H’or d'oeuvres mostly,” Travis replied with a tight smile. He elbowed Grant softly in the ribs and Grant grunted. 

“It’s sort of an appetizer thing, I guess,” Grant said, sounding unsure of himself. “We should probably just go in; it’ll be easier to explain once we’re in there.”

Travis and Grant shared a look, but Vic missed the context of it. She sighed, Her friends were weird.

Vic followed Grant and Travis down a hallway until they reached a set of doors. 

Travis was grinning. 

He opened the doors and then gently nudged Vic inside the mostly dark? room. 

“Surprise!” 

The lights went up, and Vic was suddenly surrounded by several people. Vic took a moment to absorb her surroundings. The room was large and was intricately decorated with soft greens and blues (probably Gabby’s doing if Vic hd to guess.) There were gifts on the far table and a large cake near the stage. More importantly, however, were the people who were there. Almost all of Vic’s siblings were there, sans Jace, who lived more than 2000 miles away. Vic’s mom was there. In addition, all of 19, even Sullivan were there. Lucas’s family was there as well. Frankel was also there, which Vic supposed was because of the fact that she counted in Lucas’s relatively few friends. There were a few people she didn’t recognize, but Vic figured she would meet them all eventually. 

The next several minutes were a flurry of activity as Vic got hugged my several people. As suspected, it was Gabby who had planned the baby shower, but Maya and Andy had helped, and they had roped Travis in to help keep Vic occupied and to make sure that she got to the venue. 

Vic was close to tears as she caughts sight of Lucas in all of the comotion. 

“You knew?” Vic asked. 

Lucas hung his head guiltily. “Only for the past week,” he replied. “Aaliyah told me.” He pointed as his niece, who was grinning mischievously. 

“It was an accident,” Aaliyah said defensively. 

The adults laughed, and Aaliyah let out an exasperated sigh, prompting more laughter. 

“We do have one more surprise before the party starts,” Gabby said. “I know that almost all of the Hughes kids are here and that Jace is your favorite _brother_. And I know that Jace lives in Texas, but…” Gabby paused for effect and then a door on the other side of the room opened. 

It was then that Vic started crying in earnest, because, standing ten feet away from Vic was Jace. 

“Hey, sis,” Jace said as he wrapped her into a hug. 

“Hey, little bro,” Vic said, hugging him tightly. 

“Told you I was the favorite,” Jace said out loud, and Vic did not have to turn around to know that, at the very least, Gabby, Hannah, and Santiago were subtly flipping Jace off. It was what siblings did. 

“You’re going to make my makeup run,” Vic said as she pulled away and dabbed at her eyes, grateful, now, that Travis had encouraged her to apply waterproof mascara, which, given the amount of hormones coursing through her body, was probably what she should be doing whenever she wore makeup. “I thought you had work.” 

“I got a three day weekend,” Jace said with a shrug. “I fly out late Sunday night and I’ll be back in time for work on Monday. But now that the cat’s out of the bag, I can finally open Snapchat. Gabby wouldn’t let me open it or turn off my location because she didn’t want you to get suspicious.” Jace rolled his eyes.

“I don’t even care about Snapchat that much and I probably wouldn’t have noticed,” Vic said. 

“Told ya,” Jace said triumphantly. 

“Anyway,” Gabby said. “Now that everyone’s here, we can do our ice breaker game.” 

There was a collective grumble from multiple people. 

“I know,” Gabby said. “Most people hate baby shower games, but I promise, these aren’t all horrible, and I will actually let you guys talk and get to know each other. Now, let’s begin!”

-X- 

Cassie Hughes genuinely enjoyed people-watching. It was a habit she picked up from years of not being an active participant in the majority of social activities. Even now, when the majority of social interactions took place online, Cassie still preferred to lurk and watch, and her sister’ baby shower was the perfect place to lurk and observe.

For one thing, it was a very crowded event. Gabby had done an excellent job of picking a venue that could host everyone, and the decorations were subtle enough not to be overbearing. Gabby was shockingly good at party planning, but Cassie supposed that anyone who had to spend at least an hour on Pinterest, per day, as part of their _job_ would be pretty good at planning parties. And Gabby knew that almost everyone hated baby shower games, so she kept the games to a limit. 

The first games wa the one that would give Cassie the biggest opportunity to learn about the other party guests. It was like Bingo, but you had to find the party guest who matched a certain description. Some of them were pretty easy. Find the guest who… knows four languages (Gabby), can play the cello and ukulele (Jace) , whose dog has more Instagram followers than him (Santiago) and so on and so forth. Cassie had learned enough about Vic’s coworkers to infer some of their answers. For example, who has run 3 ultra marathons (Maya Bishop) but dealing with Lucas’s family seemed the most difficult. 

It had become increasingly noisy in the venue hall, as everyone walked around, trying to discover someone’s fun fact. Cassie did, indeed, learn some interesting facts about other people. For example, one of Lucas’s sisters, Olivia, had been to every single continent, and one of Vic’s coworkers, Travis Montgomery, was allergic to kiwi and grapes. 

“Is it wrong of me to assume that you’re the one who has broken 3 bones this year?” A voice asked. 

Cassie turned her head to see a boy standing behind her. He was cute and he was tall, easily just under six foot. He seemed about Cassie’s age, and he had mahogany colored skin and curls that were cut close to his head.

“Guilty,” Cassie said, a bit of a flush covering her cheeks. He held up her casted right arm. 

The boy laughed. “Well, I guess since I figured out yours, you have to guess mine.” 

Cassie stared at her paper. “Lemme guess,” she said. “You’ve played soccer in every state on the West Coast.” 

“That obvious?” The boy asked. 

Cassie shook her head. “I’ve only got like four people left, and I don’t think you’ve ever been called for jury duty three times in the same month.

“I’m Jayden,” he said. He reached for her paper and they traded, scribbling their name down. 

Cassie tried, extremely hard, mind you, not to focus on how pretty his hazel eyes were. 

“I’m done,” someone shouted out.

It was one of Lucas’ sisters, Sophie, if Cassie remembered correctly. 

Sophie had indeed managed to figure out everyone’s name and fun fact, and she received her prize, which was a gift card to Trader Joe’s. 

“Time for a break while we set up the next game,” Gabby said. 

Jayden settled in a chair next to Gabby. Great, so the guy wasn’t going to leave. (Not that Cassie minded. He was, indeed, relatively attractive.) 

Gabby watched as everyone awkwardly mingled for a moment but then ultimately segregated themselves to their tables, awkwardly sitting in groups that were clearly separated by how well they knew each other. Cassie was sitting at the ‘kids’ table, even if it wasn’t designated the kid’s table. Her only other companions were Jayden, her niece, and one of Lucas’s younger nieces, whose name she couldn’t remember. 

Nina and Lucas’s niece however, had disappeared under the table (plotting and scheming in the way only a six and eight year old could do), and Jayden had stood to use the restroom, leaving Cassie to observe. 

Everyone at the party had received a basket when they arrived, with a plain white onesie, a block, and a diaper. Apparently, they were supposed to decorate each of them as they wished, so Cassie pulled out the onesie and reached for one of the marker’s on the table. 

Cassie still looked up every so often, eager to observe the situation before her. 

It was interesting, to say the least, to watch Vic with her boyfriend. They both looked exceedingly happy as they sat on the couch that Gabby had placed at the front of the room for them. 

Lucas had his hand on Vic’s belly, and he seemed to be very focused on it. 

Vic obviously said something funny, because Lucas laughed out loud. 

Cassie turned and looked around the room. Baby showers were not a new invention. As early as Ancient Egypt, families rallied around newly married couples and gave gifts in hopes that it would encourage fertility. Of course, today, it had evolved until waiting until said couple was actually pregnant, but nonetheless, baby showers provided the unique opportunity to observe. 

Without Bean, and by extension Vic and Lucas, Cassie would have never had the opportunity to meet most of the people, so it was interesting, watching the blending of Vic and Lucas’s lives together.

As the baby shower continued, Cassie noticed that people tended to migrate to other tables as they slowly became more comfortable with one another. Cassie observed, tickled, as Frankel and Hannah ended up engaged in a heated discussion, about, if Cassie had to guess from the words that drifted her way, what is was like being the boss in a field that was mostly men. 

Zach, it seemed, was engaged in a conversation with Grant about meditation. Santiago was entertaining Aaliyah and Nina with stories and pictures of his dog Mingo. And Jace was animatedly explaining Muggle Quidditch to several people, a sport that Cassie had still yet to completely understand. It was interesting, to say the least, to watch the way that everyone mixed and mingled. 

True to her word, Gabby strayed from the cheesy, corny baby shower games and instead opted for a game of The Price is Right using popular baby items. 

Beyond that, there was little structure to the evening, which allowed Cassie ample time to work on a onesie and to observe. 

“You like people-watching, don’t you?” Jayden asked when he returned to the table after conversing with his mom. 

“Something like that,” Cassie said nonchalantly. “It’s kinda a habit I picked up. Sometimes, it’s more fun that participating, and you learn a lot.” 

“I can see that,” Jayden said. “So, what’d you learn from watching just now?” 

“Well,” Cassie said thoughtfully. “My sister is very much in love with Lucas, and vice versa. My older sister Hannah should never be left alone in a room with Frankel, otherwise they will have a detailed plan for world domination within hours. My older brother, Santi, really misses his dog, and my niece really wants a dog. And no one is ever going to understand how Muggle Quidditch is played unless they actually go to a tournament.” 

“Wow,” Jayden said, looking impressed. “You’re actually pretty good at this people-watching thing.” 

Cassie shrugged again. “Like I said, sometimes, it’s more than participating, and I’ve been doing it for several years. It’s how you figure out secrets.” 

“I might have to try that,” Jayden said. He grinned. 

“Alright, everyone!” Gabby called out. “It’s time for presents!”

Cassie turned her attention to the stage, where Vic and Lucas were preparing to open presents. Cassie observed the two of them for a long moment, carefully noting the way that Lucas stared at Vic. The look on his face was one of complete and total affection, and Vic returned that look wholeheartedly. 

Cassie beamed. She hoped that one day, she would have a love like that. 

-X-

Vic had to admit that she wasn’t the biggest fan of baby showers. They usually lended themselves to awkward games and even more awkward socialization with people that she barely knew. 

But Gabby had planned an awesome shower, with more activities than there were actual games. The one game that she had decided on had been fun and sweet. 

The rest of the party consisted mainly of mingling until it was time for gifts, and Vic usually hated opening gifts in front of people, but Gabby had reminded her that most of the time, people gave gifts because they wanted to see someone’s response to them. 

Apparently, Gabby had requested that people bring and sign books in lieu of bringing a card, since most people ending up throwing away the holiday cards the received after a few years. Books, however, were more practical and they tended to last longer. 

They started with some of the smaller things first. The first gift that Vic was handed was from Frankel. (And, again, it was extremely weird to have your boss and your boss’s boss at the baby shower, but apparently Lucas didn’t have very many friends outside of work.) 

She was surprised to find a onesie that read. “My Mommy is my hero” in orange and red lettering. It was accompanied by a fire truck beneath it.

Lucas turned to Frankel and quirked an eyebrow, and Vic could understand why. Frankel seemed like the type to stray away from anything sentimental or cliche, in favor of things that were practical. 

Frankel shrugged. “I know,” she said, rolling her eyes. “It’s cliche, and I wouldn’t have gotten it. But Grace kept showing me firefighter themed onesies and pretty much all of them said something along the lines of, “My _Daddy_ is my hero and ‘Future firefighter, just like my _Daddy_ , so I had to find one that said mom.” 

And that explanation was so Frankel that it made sense. Frankel had also gotten them a simple, soft alphabet book that the tag said was useful for teething. 

Lucas opened the next gift, which was from his Mom. It was a large, knit green blanket. 

“I went with green because it’s pretty neutral and you guys haven’t decided on a nursery theme,” Julie said, giving both of them a pointed stare. Julie’s book was a copy of Love You, Stinky Face, which was apparently a favorite of all of her grandchildren. 

Vic opened the next one, from Santiago. It was a baby butt fan Vic couldn’t bring herself to actually be surprised, but included was a card with an offer of a free newborn photography session. The book, however, was essentially useless, as it was a copy of P is for Pterodactyl, an alphabet book that highlighted words that started with silent first letters. 

Lucas opened the gift from Hannah, which turned out to be an incredibly expensive baby monitor set. Vic had seen it on a few of the baby sites that she had been on. It was well over $500. 

“I got an employee discount,” Hannah explained. “My company makes these, and they’re the best on the market. It monitor vital signs like heart rate, oxygen, and sleep.” 

Hannah also easily made more than what even Lucas did, and she had only been with her company for three years, so her pocketbook probably wasn’t hurting too much. The book she had brought to accompany it was called the “A B C’s of Engineering.”

Vic cried when she opened what had been identified as, ‘ _A joint gift from everyone at the station, including Sullivan._ ’ It was an expensive, convertible, steel framed car seat, one that had consistently been ranked as the best on the market. Given their job, Vic and the other firefighters knew that a good car seat, installed correctly, was the difference between life and death for a baby or toddler in a car accident, and so Vic cried, because the gift was as meaningful as it was practical.

Gabby’s gift was also incredibly practical. It was a gift card to a Seattle based cleaning service and a gift card to a meal prep service. 

“I promise,” Gabby said. “When you’re under a mountain of laundry and you’ve ordered Uber Eats for the fourth time in a week, having someone to come in and cook and clean the house will be a lifesaver.” 

Gabby’s book was a hardback copy of “The Very Hungry Caterpillar.” She also included a copy of “Go the F**k to Sleep.” 

Which, Gabby added, “Is not for you to read to the baby.”

Lucas opened his gift from his sister, which was a gift card to Ikea, accompanied by an Honest Company gift set. The book she had picked was, “Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.” 

Vic opened the next gift, which was from Jace. It was a Hamilton onesie with the phrase, “Young, Scrappy, and Hungry.” The book that accompanied it was, “Before John Was a Jazz Giant.” 

Lucas opened the next gift, which was Sullivan’s book: a copy of “Oh! The Places You’ll Go!” 

Vic opened the next gift, which was from Andy. It was a book called, “Only One You.”

Lucas opened Travis’s book, which was “Not Your Typical Dragon.”

Vic opened the book from Maya, which ended up being “Where the Wild Things Are.” 

Lucas opened Dean’s book, which was “Everywhere, Babies.” 

Jack had made the baby, a (properly) crocheted baby blue hat and matching socks. 

“You do _not_ want to know how many tries that took,” Jack said with a laugh. 

Jack’s book was called Flashing Fire Engines, and was, as the title implied, about firefighters. Frankly, Vic was surprised that they had opened so many gifts and had only received two references to the fact that they were both firefighters. 

Lucas’s sister Sophie had gotten the two of them a gift card to an infant massage parlor and a coupon for free babysitting on a date of their choice. 

Zach and Cassie had done a joint gift: several packs of onesies, pants, and a cute size 3 month suit. Cassie had gotten her a book called “Molly, By Golly”, and Zach had gotten a copy of “No, David!” which had been his favorite book as a child. 

Finally, Vic ended with her parents. 

She unwrapped the gift, which was medium sized and flat. It was a beautiful canvas that read, ‘You Can Do Hard Things.’ Vic didn’t even realize that she had started to cry until Lucas handed her a tissue. She loved those words, and it was something that Vic was glad to put up in her son’s room as a reminder that he too could do hard things. 

She cried harder when she opened the book from her mom, which was Vic’s worn but well loved copy of, “Love You Forever.” 

Lucas gently rubbed Vic’s back as she cried. She placed her head onto his chest and quietly cried into her shirt. 

Ordinarily, Vic would feel awkward about this public display of vulnerability, especially in front of her Captain, her Battalion Chief, and Lucas’s family, most of whom she barely knew. Yet, Vic didn’t feel awkward about crying, nor about feeling vulnerable. These people were her friends, her mentors, her family. They had all come together to celebrate Vic’s son. 

They all already loved her baby, and Bean hadn’t even been born yet, and because of that, Vic didn’t feel awkward or even vulnerable, she felt like she belonged.

-X-

“What about,” Lucas squinted as he stared at the name he had pulled from the jar. “Pilot Inspektor?” Lucas paused. “Didn’t some actor name his kid that or something?”

“I’m convinced some of these are just fucking with us,” Vic said as she pulled out a name from the jar. “Dean Isaiah,” Vic read with a laugh. 

“Isaiah isn’t half bad,” Lucas said thoughtfully. 

“I know,” Vic said. “But if I name my child after Dean, I am never going to hear the end of it from Travis.” 

Lucas chuckled. “Most of these are useless,” he said. 

“I liked Peter,” Vic said. “But then I remembered this guy I went to the academy with, and it doesn’t sit well with me.” 

“Sophie said that you don’t realize how many people you hate until it’s time to name a baby,” Lucas said with a chuckle.

“That’s so true,” Vic said. “There’s just so many names out there, it’s hard to pick one.” 

“At least your mum got us a baby name book,” Lucas said. “Maybe that will come in handy.” 

“THey’ve got meanings of names,” Vic agreed. “I liked Cameron until I found out it means crooked nose. That’s just asking for a child to be bullied.” 

“I’m sure no one researches the meaning of someone’s name before they’re an asshole,” Lucas said reassuringly. “But,” he added. “If it’s important, I’ll try to only find names that don’t have awful definitions.” 

“This one’s not half bad,” Vic said. “Simon.” 

“Nope,” Lucas said, almost automatically. “That was my ex father-in-law’s name, and he was a misogynistic asshole.” 

“So that’s out,” Vic said. She sighed and then placed the jar on the coffee table. Then, Vic shifted so that she was curled up against Lucas’s side. 

“In ten weeks,” she said softly. “We’re going to be parents.” 

Lucas placed a gentle hand on Vic’s belly. Bean moved pretty often these days, which made Vic uncomfortable whenever she tried to sleep. She was getting bigger, and the body pillow that Lucas had ordered for her off of Amazon seemed to help tremendously.

“We’re going to be parents,” Lucas agreed, rubbing his hand gently on Vic’s belly. Bean gave him a soft kick in response. “Does it hurt?” Lucas asked curiously. 

Lucas felt Vic nod against his chest. “Only sometimes,” she said. “Like when he decides to use my bladder or my ribs as a punching bag, and it doesn’t hurt as badly as it did at first. It’s less weird, now.” 

“Sometimes I forget that there’s a human being in there,” Lucas said. “It’s just, he’s going to be here so soon.” 

“Not too soon,” Vic said. “He’s still got two months more baking to do before he can be considered full term.” 

“That’s not long,” Lucas said. “He’ll be here before we know it.” 

“And I should probably finish moving my stuff in,” Vic added. 

The moving process had been tedious. Vic had moved in most of her stuff, including her clothes and shoes, but there was a lot of things still ather apartment. All of the baby’s stuff was in the room they had designated for the nursery. They needed to get the area decorated pretty soon, or they would be rushing to do so in a few weeks. 

“Do you have nursery ideas?” Lucas asked. 

Vic shrugged. “I’m willing to do anything except firefighter,” she said. “I don’t want to force a career on him before he can talk, y’know?” 

Lucas nodded. He could understand that. “I was thinking we could do an outdoors theme?” Lucas said. “Like a soft, foresty type thing.” Lucas’s cheeks went hot as. he continued. “I saw some things on Pinterest.” 

“Pinterest?” Vic said, her tone betraying her shock. “I never pegged you for the pinterest type. Instagram, maybe, but Pinterest?”

Lucas laughed. “Liv kept sending me things, so I decided to get an account. It’s nice.” 

“It’s cute,” Vic agreed. “Share the board with me?” She asked. 

Lucas nodded. Then, he grabbed his phone, opened the app, and quickly added Vic to the board. 

“I like it,” Vic said after a moment of scrolling through. “I think it’s really nice.” 

“We’ll have to take him camping early,” Lucas said. “I know some spots that are really nice in the early October-”

Vic cut Lucas off. “You want us to take a newborn camping?” She asked. 

“Why not?” Lucas said. “It’s better when they’re young and actually gets more difficult once they start walking. We don’t have to go far, and we can stay at a nice campground. My mum and dad took me for the first time when I was two weeks old.” At Vic’s look of horror, Lucas added: “And obviously, we won’t go right after you give birth. That would be way too soon. But I think camping might be a good getaway for when he’s a little older. And we don’t have to rough it. We could find a cabin or something if that’s what you prefer.” 

Vic chuckled. “You really want to do this camping thing?” she said. “I can compromise. We can do a cabin. It’ll be way easier with the baby, and we can try using a tent in the spring.” 

Lucas beamed. 

“We should probably start decorating the nursery pretty soon,” Victoria said, returning back to the topic of the nursery. “I can ask Santi if he’s willing to design us a few decals so we don’t have to worry about trying to paint anything except the walls.” 

“I’m off on Tuesday. We can go to Home Depot after your appointment to look at paint samples.” 

“That could work,” Vic said. “The sooner we get this started, the quicker it will be finished, and maybe it will propel me to move the rest of my stuff over here.” 

“There’s no rush for that,” Lucas said. “You brought over most of what you needed, and we can wait to move the rest until even after Bean is born if you want.” 

Vic shook her head. “We can do some of the heavy lifting next weekend. We’re both off, and I can probably bribe the rest of 19 with promises of pizza.” 

Lucas smiled. “Sounds like a plan,” he said. 

Vic rubbed her stomach softly. Then, she leaned forward and grabbed a slip of paper from the jar. “I actually really like this one,” Vic said. She showed it to Lucas. 

It was a nice name, one Lucas had heard of, but he had never learned the meaning of. It seemed fitting. “I like it,” he said. 

“We should put it on the short list,” Vic replied. “I don’t think we should name Bean until he actually gets here. That way, we’ll know if it fits.”

“So, we have one name on the short list,” Lucas said. “Let’s try another.” He leaned forward and grabbed his own strip of paper. He chuckled as he read the name. He could only assume that this suggestion was courtesy of Frankel. It was something that Frankel would absolutely do but would never admit to. “Franklin Arnold,” Lucas announced. 

Vic groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to post sometime this weekend because very suddenly don't have studying consuming my time. (hmmm.... a mystery.)
> 
> We are chapters away from gettin to meet Bean. And, uh, without spoiling anything, lemme just say that this rollercoaster might be getting a little crazy sometime soon. (teehee) 
> 
> Did y'all love this chapter? Hate it? Please comment and validate my soul.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this took forever but it has been a hell of a week in a half. In the last week in a half, I got sick, my best friend unexpectedly had his child while visiting family 3 hours away, I had to deal with some institutional racist shit from a professor. (Lemme tell you, the paperwork for that is about as much fun as it sounds, and it took about 6 hours to file, and that's before I go in the the MCA office to get interviewed and then get another interview by someone else, and I'm starting to think it's not worth it to report racist professors, because holy hell the amount of emotional labor I've had to put into this.) Oh! And I had to interview first-year students to be placed on teams for the next school year because's I'm on the student executive team for a living-learning community. So... free time? What free time? 
> 
> **Anyway, housekeeping.**
> 
> This chapter might be a little confusing to read. There are flashbacks. To give context: the flashbacks times (I.e _Two Hours Earlier_ ) refer to that amount of time before the start of the chapter. If that makes sense. You should get used to it as it goes along. Hopefully. 
> 
> There are a couple triggers in this chapter. These are things I've already referenced in my story, but I want to put a trigger warning for a specific part. It involves a spoiler, so if you want more information of the specific trigger (related to racism) click below to view notes at the end.

Gabriela Hughes woke to the buzzing of her watch. It took her a moment to orient herself and open her eyes, carefully rolling herself from under the heavy arm of Nick. The lamp in her room was flashing. 

Gabby checked her watch. It was an alert from her doorbell. _Someone is at your door._ The notification helpfully read. 

Gabby sighed and stood, yawning. She could hear the doorbell ringing, vaguely. It wasn’t at the right frequency and Gabby rarely heard it without actively listening for it. Of course, Nick slept like the dead, so the doorbell hadn’t even so much as woke him up. 

Gabby sighed, put on a shirt and a pair of pajama pants and walked to the front door. 

She opened it and was surprised to find that Vic was standing there. 

“Oh my god,” Gabby signed. “Are you okay?” 

At that, Vic promptly burst into tears. 

“Come in,” Gabby signed. 

Vic nodded and entered the house. 

“Hey, could you give me one second? I have to do something really quickly, okay?” Gabby asked. She needed to kick Nick out before Vic broke down in her kitchen. 

“Okay,” Vic signed. 

Gabby returned to her room and gave Nick a gentle shove. He didn’t move. Much like their daughter, Nick was a pain to wake up. Gabby shoved him again. Nick groaned and rolled over. Gabby sighed and then pulled the covers back and gently pinched the skin of his back. 

Nick shifted and opened his eyes. 

“Hey,” Gabby signed. “You need to go.” 

“What?” Nick signed in reply. “What time is it?” 

“Just before midnight,” Gabby returned. 

Nick nodded and Gabby’s watched as he stood and collected his clothes. Nick dressed quickly and silently. 

While she waited, Gabby grabbed her hearing aids from her desk and placed both of them in her ears. 

She looked up to see Nick fully dressed. 

“I’ll see you later,” he signed, and then he turned towards the window. 

Gabby tapped on Nick’s shoulder. “Nina isn’t here,” she signed. “You can leave from the front door if you want.” 

Nick chuckled and then turned around and the two of them walked to her front door. Nick waved awkwardly to Vic, who had thankfully stopped crying, as he passed. Vic waved back equally awkwardly, and Gabby knew that Vic was going to have something to say about that. 

“See you later?” Nick signed. 

“I’ll drop Nina off at yours on Tuesday,” Gabby replied. 

“Okay,” Nick signed. “Bye.” He winked, and Gabby chuckled as he shut the door.

“What was that about?” Vic signed when Gabby returned to her kitchen table. “I thought you stopped sleeping with him.” 

Gabby shrugged. “He’s good in bed, and I don’t have the time to date or the energy to go out and find a one night stand. We don’t even fuck that often, just when one of us drops of Nina and decides to stay in town. So, once, maybe twice a month.” 

“He usually spends the night?” Vic asked. 

“Sometimes,” Gabby replied. “But I don’t like it because he tends to sleep in and then I have to make him climb out the window so that Nina doesn’t see him.” 

“But not tonight?” Vic asked. 

Gabby shook her head. “Nina’s actually at Mom and Dad’s house. She really wanted to watch some superhero movies with Cassie and Zach.” 

“I thought you only slept with Nick on days you or he dropped of Nina,” Vic returned. 

“He was in town picking up some paperwork and he texted.” 

“So, like a booty call?” Vic asked. 

“Yes, exactly like that. But it’s a two way street. And you know what?” Gabby replied. “And you’re obviously not here to judge me on my relationship choices, so… spill.” 

-X- 

_Three Weeks Earlier_

“Everything looks great,” Dr. Deluca said. “Your little one is already starting to get into position to be born, which is excellent. We’ll check again at his next appointment, but he shouldn’t turn himself around. As I’m sure you can tell, he’s starting to run out of room.” 

“Just a little bit,” Vic said. At 34 weeks, her stomach was huge, and it felt like she was carrying around a bowling ball at this point. Still, she noticed that Bean seemed to have wedged himself more tightly than he had before. 

“Well, if you do feel him trying to turn or if you have any concerns please don’t hesitate to let me know You should be clear for a vaginal birth barring any extenuating circumstances,” Dr. Deluca continued. 

“Is there anything we should be looking out for?” Lucas asked. 

“Nothing in particular,” Dr. Deluca said. “I know you mentioned that you were having Braxton Hicks, so keep an eye on those to ensure that they’re not actually labor contractions. I’m going to test your vaginal and rectal swabs to ensure that you’re not positive for Group B strep. Other than that, it’s just important to keep an eye out for any changes in blood sugar or swelling of hands and feet. Victoria, I want you monitor the baby’s movement, and if you have concerns about whether or not your baby is moving, I want you to call the hospital and ask to speak with either myself, another OB-GYN, or a labor and delivery nurse. Ideally, you should feel ten unique movements within the span of two hours.” 

Vic nodded. 

“Other than that,” Dr. Deluca said. “I will let you guys get going. I’m sure you have work to do or something.” 

“Actually, we’re both off today,” Lucas said proudly. “We’re headed to IKEA after this.” 

“IKEA,” Dr. Deluca said with a smile as she stood. “I’ve heard that that is always an adventure. I wish you two the best of luck. Enjoy your shopping.” 

-X- 

As it turned out, luck was incredibly necessary as the two of them navigated IKEA. Although they had only come for baby furniture, Vic ended up distracted by the many kitchen supplies that IKEA possesed. Lucas rarely cooked at home, so his array of supplies was extremely limited, and most of Vic’s old stuff would be better serviced by being thrown out. 

Eventually, they did make it to the nursery area, where Lucas was immediately overwhelmed by the wide array of choices.

“I’m just saying that a dark brown crib goes better with the rustic theme,” Vic was saying. “Black is too dark and white gets dirty too…” Vic abruptly paused mid sentence. 

Lucas turned to face her, shocked to find that her face had changed from excitement to one of horror. 

“Are you okay?” Lucas asked. “Is something wrong with the baby?” 

Vic didn’t respond, and for a moment, Luke panicked, until he turned and followed Vic’s line of sight. 

It took Lucas a long moment to place who Vic was staring at and why she looked so terrified, but it clicked a moment later. 

Lucas had only met Scott Jenkins approximately four times, and one of those times was when Jenkins had to face the disciplinary board for making sexist comments toward his coworkers on repeated occasions. Jenkins was new, and if Lucas remembered correctly, he had graduated with Vic’s firefighting class, which made things all the more concerning. 

He clearly recognized Vic, eyebrows furrowed with curiosity. There was a woman standing next to him, staring at a rocking chair, her hand resting on her belly. 

Jenkins and Vic had established eye contact, and, despite this, Lucas removed his hand from the small of Vic’s back. It’s was too little, too late, but Lucas had no idea what else to do. 

Jenkins ended up making the first move, leaving the woman next to him and taking long, easy strides toward the two of them. Lucas wanted to wipe the easy smirk off the man’s face, but Lucas knew that remaining professional, even now, might help them to save face. 

“Hughes,” Jenkins said brightly. “Chief. Well, what are you up to?” 

Vic rubbed her stomach slowly. “We’re just shopping for some baby furniture,” Vic said curtly. “I’m sure that’s what you’re doing as well.” 

Jenkins grinned, and then he gestured to the woman who had walked up behind him. “That’s correct. This is my wife, Abigail. Abigail, this is Victoria Hughes; we were in the Academy together, and this is Lucas Ripley, he’s the chief of the Seattle Fire Department.” Jenkins sounded so smug as he said it, beaming haughtily. 

“Pleasure to meet you,” Abigail said, either actually oblivious or feigning oblivion to the tension in the air. 

Lucas just smiled and nodded his head in greeting. 

“Do you guys know what you’re having?” Abigail asked excitedly. “Scott and I are having a little girl, and I honestly can’t wait to meet her.” So she was _actually_ oblivious to the tension in the air. It was somehow worse.

“We’re having a boy,” Vic answered carefully. 

“Have you picked a name?” Abigail asked. “Scott and I just can’t decide. He vetoed my favorite: Mackenleigh Reign, but I think it’s unique and sweet. He wants something more traditional, but what’s the fun in that?” 

“We haven’t decided,” Vic replied politely. “We’ll probably choose something when he actually gets here.”

“And I’m sure you’re excited too, right, dad?” Abigail asked, turning to Lucas. 

Lucas froze for a moment. Their secret was out. That was for sure. Even if Lucas hadn’t say anything in this moment, word was going to get out that Jenkins saw the fire chief with a heavily pregnant and unranked firefighter. 

“I’m excited,” Lucas said carefully. 

“And you two are lucky,” Abigail added. “I’ve heard that boys are easy, less emotional and stuff, y’know? Have you heard that too?” 

“Yeah,” Vic said awkwardly. “I have heard that. Although I’m not sure it’s healthy to raise boys to repress their emotions in favor of them being ‘easy’ kids.” 

There was a long, awkward, and unnatural pause. 

“Ooh!” Abigail said. “I see the cabinet I’ve had my eye on since I saw it on Pinterest. I’ll let you three talk about your firefighter things.” Abigail moved quickly, seemingly undeterred by Vic’s harsh comment.

“I didn’t know you two were _together_ ,” Jenkins said suddenly. “Although I guess I can’t say that I’m surprised.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Vic demanded in a low voice. 

“I mean,” Jenkins paused. “You _did_ have excellent scores on all of your subjective measures and, well, no one could figure out why. I mean, some of us thought it was because they were weighted or something because of…” Jenkins trailed off, but he had made his point loud and clear. 

“Anyway,” Jenkins said loudly. “I should probably go look at that cabinet with the ole ball and chain. You know how that is.” Jenkins chuckled at his own joke. “I’ll see you around. Congrats on your pregnancy.” He stalked away. 

“Are you okay?” Lucas asked. 

Vic’s face was stoic, unrevealing of any emotion. 

“I’m fine,” she said. “I just… God, if it were anyone but Jenkins, I would be fine with whatever rumors they spread. But it is Jenkins, and Jenkins, just.. he…” Vic paused. “Jenkins loves spreading rumors. He started one that me and a few other female and POC firefighters in our class got weighted scores due to affirmative action, which isn’t true.” Vic huffed, clearly trying not to get worked up over this in the middle of IKEA. “Now is not the place to discuss this. Let’s finish shopping.” 

They returned to shopping, but the playful air of earlier was lost. Vic’s mood had obviously soured, and Lucas would have suggested leaving the store were it not for the fact that this would likely be their only joint full day off for the next few weeks, and Bean could feasibly come at any time within the next month and a half. They needed to finish the nursery, or, at the very least, get a bassinet for Bean to sleep in. 

Lucas rubbed Vic’s back comfortingly. 

Everything had changed, and Lucas knew there was going to be fall out. 

-X- 

_Three Hours Earlier_

Vic couldn’t breathe. Every time she thought about this, about Lucas’s probation, about everything, her levels of stress heightened.

Vic heard Lucas’s key jiggling in the door and she braced herself for the conversation. She wondered, briefly, if she was being irrational. However, in the same vein, this was bigger than simply not mentioning the fact that he was on probation. It was... 

The door opened, and Lucas stepped inside. 

Vic simply observed Lucas for a moment, her eyes traveling his body up and down. Her eyes caught on his hand, neatly bandaged across the knuckles. 

“Lucas,” Vic said slowly. “What the hell happened?”

-X- 

_Nine Hours Earlier_

Lucas was halfway through answering his emails when there was a knock on his door. 

“Come in!” He called out. 

It was Wilson, which was somehow both shocking and unsurprising. What was more shocking was that it had taken Wilson this long to stop by. 

“Chief,” Wilson said smoothly.

Wilson smirked, something that he tended to do an awful lot. Lucas wished that he could say that he had no idea how someone like Wilson, a sexist, racist, homophobic asshole got promoted in a city like Seattle, where its diversity and tolerance was seen as a strength, but frankly, Lucas knew exactly why Wilson had been promoted. His numbers were impeccable. His sexually charged comments against female firefighters didn't matter when he had the best rescue scores in the entire district, bested only by Lucas himself, and by Frankel on a good day. Regardless, the department was going to be hard pressed to find a good replacement if they terminated him. And Wilson knew this. He also knew that very few people were willing to report him. If the rumors were to be believed (and let it be known that Lucas didn't traditionally believe rumors) then Wilson had family that was pretty deep in the mayor's pocket, which meant that Wilson wasn’t going to face consequences like everyone else did. Lucas hated this part of the job, how, despite the fact that they were saving lives, everything boiled down to political affiliation once you got up this high. 

Wilson was gunning for the chief job, Lucas knew, and the only reason he didn't have it was because terminating Lucas to promote Wilson would be a clear violation of Lucas's contract. 

"Morning, Wilson," Lucas said cooly. "I can't say I was expecting to see you in my office." 

"I guess we weren't expecting a lot of things," Wilson returned. "I have to say," Wilson added. "I had thought that you, of all people, would be the least likely to sleep with a firefighter. I mean, with all of your liberal, SJW-bullshit." Wilson laughed to himself. 

Lucas huffed. Then, he turned to his computer and clicked on his voice memos app. He had a feeling that this wasn’t going to go well. 

"Could I help you with something, Wilson?" Lucas asked. 

Wilson shook his head. "I'm doing pretty well, actually, thanks for asking. I just thought I would drop by." 

"Well," Lucas said, standing as he did so. "If you don't have anything to say, I have somewhere I need to go." Lucas walked around the edge of the desk. 

"That's weird," Wilson said. "Because your secretary said you were free for the rest of the day." 

Lucas shrugged. "She must have gotten things mixed up. Y'know how that is." 

"I don't," Wilson replied. "I'm sure that, as Chief, you're way busier than I will ever be." It sounded almost like a thinly veiled threat. 

"Probably," Lucas agreed. "I remember being Battalion Chief. It wasn't easy, but this is a lot more paperwork." 

"I should let you get to your 'thing.'” Wilson took the time to painstakingly add air quotes to the word thing. 

Lucas rolled his eyes. 

Wilson turned to leave. However, instead of opening the door, he paused with his hand on the doorknob. 

"You know," Wilson said, turning around. "I mean, there's not very many women in this department, but the ones that are here, minus a few of the lesbians, are pretty gorgeous. You have the cream of the crop as far as firefighters go. I've known you for twelve years Lucas Ripley. You've surprised me a lot, but I can definitely say that you're still full of surprises. I mean, even with your dedication to 'social justice and equality,' I never pegged you to be an oil driller." He chuckled airily and then turned to leave. 

And that, was how Lucas ended up with bruised knuckles and how Battalion Chief Wilson ended up with a broken nose. 

-X- 

_Two Hours and Fifty-Three Minutes Earlier_

“What the hell, Lucas?” Vic responded when Lucas finished his story. “You punched one of your colleagues?” 

“But he.. He..” Lucas inhaled sharply, struggling to find words. 

Vic cut him off. “It doesn’t matter, Lucas, especially because you’re on probation. I mean, did you even think about that before you punched Wilson?” 

Lucas looked sheepish. “No,” he said. “But HR says that they’re going to review the incident. Reagan thinks it will end in my favor, especially because I had the wherewithal to record it.” 

“Of course,” Vic said, her tone borderline sarcastic. “You totally thought that part through.”

Lucas paused, eyebrows furrowed tightly. “Wait, Vic,” he said. “How did you know about me being on probation?” 

-X- 

_Twelve Hours Earlier_

“Vic!” A voice shouted when Vic entered the workout room. “You’re here!” 

Vic nodded and smiled awkwardly. 

Carissa Stewart was probably one of the kindest people that Vic had met during her time in the SFD. She was a lieutenant and a single mom of two, now three, children, and she was flourishing. 

They were in separate Battalions, so Vic hadn’t met Carissa until she started the pregnancy training class, which met biweekly. Carissa had been halfway there when Vic started attending PT, and she had delivered her daughter eight weeks ago. Per SFD policy and Vic’s union contract, new moms were allowed to attend the pregnancy training class when they were between 6 and 16 weeks postpartum, in order to ensure that they were prepared to retake their CPAT exams. 

At 37 weeks, Vic’s sessions had been regulated to once weekly, and she had skipped her two prior sessions in favor of remaining at work and not having to face her fellow firefighters. 

Predictably, the news of her pregnancy and subsequent relationship with Ripley had spread like wildfire.

“How is Zoey doing?” Vic asked, avoiding the elephant in the room.

“She’s incredible,” Carissa said with a grin. “I forgot how amazing they are when they’re little.” 

“Where is she now?” Vic asked. 

“With my mom,” Carissa replied sadly. “I miss her so much already. God, I don’t want to go back to work. Well, I do, but I don’t.” 

“Has her dad been by yet?” Marie asked. She was the only other firefighter currently in pregnancy physical training, and she was due 5 weeks after Vic was. 

Carissa shook her head. “He claims he’ll fly in sometime this month, but I’ll believe it when he asks me to pick him up from the airport.” 

“This is why I don’t deal with men,” piped up Anna. She was a lesbian and had been married to her wife for four years. (Apparently, when she told her police captain that she was knocked up, the captain’s response had been a resounding, “On purpose?” So, they all had to deal with their fair share of sexism in their respective departments.)

“Why hasn’t he been by?” Marie asked

“Something about San Diego doing captain’s testing and he didn’t want to miss it,” Carissa said with an annoyed sigh. “Protip: Don’t have sex with guys you meet while attending wildfire training conferences. It doesn’t end well.” 

“Or just don’t date firefighter’s period,” Marie offered drily. 

“Marie!” Carissa reprimanded Marie. “Shh…” 

“It’s fine,” Vic said. “I’m sure you guys are dying to know about me and the Chief.” 

“But we weren’t going to mention anything,” Carissa said pointedly. 

“Alright ladies,” the instructor, Dodson, called out. “You guys need to do four laps around the track before you engage in your physician approved exercise.” 

The four of them stood, with both Vic, Anna, and Marie struggling to get up off the floor. 

“I can’t wait until this kid is out of me and I have balance,” Anna said with a long sigh. “September 20th cannot come here quickly enough.” 

“Same here,” Vic said. “I’m thirty-seven weeks and I can’t get comfortable, at all. Bean’s killing me.” 

“I’ll tell you now that labor isn’t that much more comfortable,” Carissa said with a sigh. 

“Anything is better than this,” Anna replied. “I just want to meet my baby girl, and it’ll all be worth it.” 

The four of them took to strolling the track. 

“So,” Marie said. “Are we allowed to ask questions or…?” 

“Marie!” Carissa admonished. 

Vic laughed. “If you want, you can, but I might not respond to some of them.” 

“How are you feeling about all of this?” Marie asked gently. “I know it can’t be easy, given that the gossip is everywhere.” 

“I’m mostly ignoring it,” Vic answered. “I’m too close to the birth of my son to care about what other people have to say. Listening to the negative comments is only going to make things more stressful for me, and I have enough to worry about.” 

“I’d imagine,” Carissa agreed. “With Lucas’s probation and every thing, I’m sure it’s pretty stressful in your household.” 

Vic froze. Probation? Lucas was on probation? 

“I was surprised when Vedders told me that the Chief had only ended up on probation after all of this,” Marie added. “I mean, given the political climate, you would think that the city of Seattle would have done something more drastic. Not that I want them to, because Ripley is a good Chief and consent was given, but still, you know what I mean?” 

“I think consent is the keyword here,” Carissa said. “I mean, it’s not against SFD rules to date your superiors as long as it’s reported to human relations in a timely manner. It’s also not suggested, but as long as you follow protocol it’s not a fireable offense, but I’m also surprised it was only probation.” Carissa turned to Vic. “Were you surprised that they only gave Lucas probation?” 

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Vic said quickly. “It was super shocking.” She couldn’t keep the sarcasm from her voice. 

Anna gave Vic a sympathetic look and Vic smiled awkwardly. 

“Well, I just want you to know that no matter what, we’ve got your back,” Marie said cheerfully. “Lord knows it’s hard enough being a woman in the fire force, add in parenting, and things get so much more complicated.” 

“If I had a dollar for every time a _coworker_ asked if I felt guilty about leaving my kids for 24 hours, I would have enough to retire,” Carissa siad with an annoyed huff. “Sure, Tyler and Caleb’s dad hasn’t seen them in three years, but I’m the one that’s supposed to feel bad for leaving them alone overnight.” 

“And, just statistically speaking,” Anna added. “You have more time home each month than people who work 9-5 jobs, not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Marie paused. “Point is, if you ever need anything, know that you’ve got us.” 

Vic smiled. “Thank you, guys,” she said. “I really appreciate that someone has my back.” 

-X- 

“But does it matter how I know?” Vic demanded after she finished her story. 

Lucas said nothing, eyes averted from Vic’s gaze.

“Lucas, you hid this from me,” Vic said. 

“It’s not even that big of a deal.” Lucas said after a long moment. “It’s _just_ probation. I’ve been on it before.” 

“You also punched somebody, Lucas, while on probation,” Vic retorted. “You could have lost your job, and then where would that have left us?” 

“I had money saved up,” Lucas said smoothly. “It wouldn’t matter.” 

“This isn’t about money, Lucas!” Vic said, surprised to hear that her voice was rising. She didn’t care if it was hormones at this point. Lucas didn’t get it. “I could care less about how much money you make or what you saved up. I’m asking what would happen to _us_ if you lost your job?” 

Lucas was quiet for a long moment, and Vic could see his thoughts crossing his mind. “I didn’t think about-“ 

“Exactly, Lucas,” Vic cut him off, feeling vindicated. “You didn’t think about what this would do to us. I’m sure it would be fine at first, what, with us having a newborn and all, but eventually, once all that emotion fades away. What’s left? How long before you start resenting me, resenting us, because we took your job away from you.” 

“I would never, Victoria, please-” Lucas began. Then, he stopped. Vic could tell that he was considering his next words very carefully. “My job doesn’t matter; it really doesn’t. I can work anywhere, okay? You and Bean are more important to me than my job could ever be.” 

“If we,” Vic stopped. This wasn’t so much about Bean as it was about the relationship between her and Lucas, and she needed to reflect why she was upset. “If I’m so important to you, then why didn’t you tell me about this. Probation isn’t something you hide from your partner.” 

“I didn’t want to stress you out,” Lucas said carefully/. “You already seemed so upset about everything else. Probation seemed minute in comparison.” 

“But this isn’t minute,” Vic replied firmly. “This is bigger than that, Lucas. It’s not about the job. It’s about the fact that you’re willing to lie about something this big. That’s why I’m upset.” 

“I wasn’t trying to lie about this,” Lucas tried. 

“But you did,” Vic said. “Lying by omission is still lying.” 

“I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill, Victoria,” Lucas replied. “Yes, I should have told you about the fact that I was on probation, but if you look at this rationally…” 

“I am looking at this rationally, Lucas,” Vic cut him off. Even barring his comment insinuating that she was overreacting, Vic was not going to let Lucas dig himself deeper into a hole. “That’s why I’m upset. Looking at this rationally means that I’m trying to figure out what this means. If you’re willing to lie about something as big as your job, something that inevitably affects both of us, then what’s next?” 

“You’re jumping to conclusions, Vic, okay? I was trying to protect you because you’ve already been through so much with your pregnancy with Bean, and i didn’t want to make things worse for you.” 

“So first I’m irrational,” Vic said, and now she was feeling angry. “And now, things were understandably hard for me so you didn’t want to tell me. Which one is it?” 

““That’s not what I meant, dammit, Victoria,” Lucas tried. “What I’m trying to say is that you always…” 

“I always… what?” Vic cut him off again, and maybe she was being unfair but Vic was tired and hormonal and upset, and she also really did not want Lucas to finish that sentence.

“Can we just not talk about this?” Lucas said. “We’re both tired, and this really isn’t that big of a deal.”

“We need to talk about this, Lucas,” Vic responded. “Avoiding this is going to get us absolutely nowhere. This is something that I should’ve known.” 

“If I remember correctly, you have no trouble with not talking about things that other people need to know,” Lucas retorted cooly.

Vic didn’t know how to respond to that. The blood in her veins ran hot. Of all of the things that Lucas could’ve said, he chose that one: the one thing that she still felt guilty about, even now. Vic inhaled sharply.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” Lucas said, and he sounded genuinely apologetic. “Victoria, I-“ 

“But it’s the truth,” Vic said, feeling almost vindictive. “I guess I don’t like talking about hard things. Maybe we should just stop talking about this.” 

“That’s not what I meant-“ 

“It’s exactly what you meant, Lucas,” Vic said as she pushed past Lucas and headed inside of thei-his bedroom. “Or you wouldn’t have said it.”

“What are you doing?” Lucas asked, and Vic could hear the note of desperation in his voice as he followed her into the room. 

“Packing clothes,” Vic said as she grabbed her duffel bag from her side of the closet. “What does it look like I’m doing?” 

“Vic, please, I didn’t mean it,” Lucas said, and now he was actually sounding desperate. 

“Okay,” Vic said, her tone softening as she placed a few pairs of underwear and a two pairs of maternity pants as well as a couple a old t-shirts. “I still need time to think and cool off.” 

“Where are you going?” Lucas asked. 

“I don’t know,” Vic said, shaking her head. “My old apartment, my sister’s house, Andy and Maya’s place; I haven’t figured it out yet. I just need time to think, and you obviously don’t want to talk about this.” 

“Victoria,” Lucas began.

“Don’t-” Vic said, because she knew if he kept at it, her resolve would slip.

“Please don’t leave,” Lucas said desperately.”

“I’m not leaving; I need to think, okay?” Vic clarified. “We both need time to think We’re three weeks away from the birth of _our_ son, and we don’t need to be fighting like this. We need to cool down and come back when we’re ready to talk like adults, without yelling, without accusations, without bringing up what’s in the past, okay?” 

“Okay,” Lucas said.

“I love you,” Vic said, and she wrapped her arms tightly around Luke. 

“I love you too, Victoria,” Lucas said as he wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could manage. “Please, I just…”

“We need to cool down,” Vic said. 

“Okay,” Lucas said softly. 

“Okay,” Vic replied. 

-X- 

“Well, shit,” Gabby said, outloud, as Vic finished her story. “That’s a lot.” 

“I need your help,” Vic said honestly. “Did I do something wrong?” 

“I’m no expert here-” Gabby began. 

“Aren’t you though?” Vic asked, half joking. “I mean, you literally research relationships and marriage.” 

“And I also have my daughter’s father and my ex-boyfriend on speed dial as a booty call,” Gabby chuckled. “And my research focuses more on relationships and social media. So, I’m barely an expert and certainly not a therapist. But I will gladly give you advice as your sister who occasionally makes bad relationship decisions.”

“Fine, then,” Vic said. “As my sister, I need your advice. What do I do?” 

“We need to think about this all carefully, but what’s more important than solutions right now is how you’re feeling. How are you, Victoria, seriously?”

“I’m angry and a little sad, right now,” Vic said. 

“Well, as I tell Nina all the time,” Gabby began. “You’re not sad and angry; you’re Victoria. You _feel_ sad and angry.” 

“Well, I hope you don’t tell your daughter that’s she’s Victoria,” Vic responded, deadpan. 

Gabby snorted. “You know what I meant. It’s important to not let your feelings consume you, but it’s also equally important and valid to feel these things, which is why we should label them, but understand that they are temporary feelings and not who we are.” 

“You could be a therapist,” Vic suggested. 

“I’m not going back to school,” Gabby responded. “Nine years is more than enough. But what do you want to talk about right now.”

Vic nodded. “I just need to talk to someone about this.” Vic buried her head in her hands. “God, I don’t want us to end like this.” 

“No one is talking about ending things,” Gabby said quickly. “Vic, take a deep breath. Slow and steady. Slow and steady. Let’s think about this, and then let’s talk.” 

“Okay,” Vic agreed. “Let’s talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Information: When Battalion Chief Wilson conversed with Chief Ripley, he refers to Lucas as an oil driller. 
> 
> Okay. I know. I’m evil. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for this chapter. All of it. 
> 
> Some additional information: 
> 
> The slur that Wilson used “oil-driller” is a reference to white men who date, marry, have sex, and/or have children with non-white women. It’s used almost exclusively in white supremacist circles (please don’t ask me how I know. Or do, cuz it’s a funny story.) I’m not going to explain why it’s called what it’s called, I’m sure you can use your imagination.
> 
> The characterization and story of Wilson was inspired by my current experience with this prof, but that’s a long ass story that I’d rather not get into. 
> 
> Anyway, I am so so so so sorry for this chapter. Many apologies. All of the apologies for this chapter and the angst. I did promise a rollercoaster ride. See you soon!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all know the drill. My life is falling apart. College sucks. Studying sucks. Neuroscience is killing my soul, and I honestly just need to bite the bullet and move into the library. 
> 
> Um... this chapter was brought to you by going to church (outside) in 17 degree (-8 Celcius), crescent roll pie, way too much Mt. Dew, and procrastination. 
> 
> **Trigger Warning: The trigger warnings in this chapter involve spoilers, so please click below if you have the potential to be triggered by medical things related to pregnancy.**

“Be honest,” Vic asked her sister. “Did I overreact?” 

“A little bit,” Gabby signed in reply. “But I also think that your feelings are valid. I kicked Nick out of the house when I was pregnant with Nina because of something arbitrary.” 

“And then what happened?” Vic asked. 

“He mansplained my anger to me by saying that I was just having a more intense reaction because I was pregnant and the surge of hormones made me more protective of my environment because I needed to protect my baby,” Gabby signed. “Don’t date evolutionary psychologists.” 

“I wasn’t planning on it,” Vic signed with a laugh. 

Gabby smiled warmly. “Let’s get to the bottom of this.” 

“Okay,” Vic replied. She tried to smile response, but it felt so emotionally draining. 

“I can see both of your sides. Him hiding this from you wasn’t a great decision on his part, but he also had reasoning behind it. He didn’t want to further stress you out, and I’, assuming that he would’ve told you had he actually lost his job,” Gabby signed. 

“That’s true,” Vic replied. Gabby had a point. Lucas wasn’t hiding this to be secretive. He had wanted to alleviate the stress on her, and that was understandable. But probation was a big deal, especially given that they were going to be having a child together, and said child was at least part of the reason for the aforementioned probation. “That’s not all I’m upset about.”

“I’m assuming that you’re more angry about him throwing the fact that you didn’t tell him back in your face than you are about him not telling you,” Gabby prodded. 

“I’m mad about both,” Vic signed. “But I’m more angry about him throwing that back in face. He knows I feel guilty about that.” 

“Is that why you walked away?” Gabby asked. 

“We were both upset at that point, and I knew I was going to say something that I regretted if I didn’t stop arguing with him.” Vic sighed. 

“That was a mature choice,” Gabby said. “I think it’s good that you guys both have time to cool off and think before you talk about the situation.”

“I know,” Vic responded. “This is such a mess.” She placed her head in her hands. 

“It’s not a mess,” Gabby signed when Vic looked up. “Trust me; I’ve seen worse. You guys had a fight, and you decided to leave before things got out of hand.”

“I know, I just-“ Vic huffed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have left, but I just, I got stressed about it and I didn’t want to fight with him. I love Lucas, and I don’t want something as trivial as this to be the end. I needed time to process, and now I feel bad for leaving.”

“And you were able to process,” Gabby replied. “That’s good right now. So when you two actually talk about it, you can explain why you were upset and why you left. And you can work things out.”

“It’s just so overwhelming…” Vic signed. 

“You’re tired and hormonal and cranky,” Gabby signed. “It’s understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed. Maybe you’ll feel better if you get some sleep. You can use my bed.” Gabby paused. “I’ll change the sheets.” 

“No, no,” Vic said. “I don’t want to interrupt your night and then put you out of your bed.” 

“Are you sure? You’re nine months pregnant.”

“I’ll be fine,” Vic said. “I can sleep on your couch. I’ll live.” 

“Take Nina’s bed at least,” Gabby conceded. “It’s smaller but at least it’s more comfortable.”

Vic smiles at her sister. “Thank you,” She signed. “You’re the best.”

Gabby smiled back. “That’s what sisters are for.”

-X-

Lucas grunted as he placed the weights on the floor. Three reps of thirty, and he still felt unexplainably restless, well, there was an explanation, but Lucas didn’t want to dwell on it. He sighed and walked over to the jump ropes. The office turned gym that the city had put in for top brass was tiny, but apparently, the city had decided that it was important for them to have somewhere to exercise. (Lucas didn’t disagree; he knew the statistics on firefighters and heart attacks and similar conditions while on duty, and he knew that cardiovascular exercise and endurance training could reduce the risk of having a sudden cardiac event while on duty.) Still, the tiny gym helped; he had infinite amounts of energy to burn off, it felt. 

The door to the gym opened. Lucas looked up; it was Frankel. 

Frankel cocked her head curiously. “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen you in here,” Frankel said. 

Lucas shrugged. 

“I heard you punched Wilson,” Frankel continued when Lucas didn’t actually say anything. “And, frankly, I’m surprised that no one did it sooner; that’ll probably stop him from running his mouth.” 

“But not from having those opinions,” Lucas said glumly. 

Frankel sighed. “But what can we actually do? He’ll retire soon, and we can figure out where to go from there. I know Wilson is sick of being stuck as Batt Chief with absolutely no movement. Give it a few years. Plus, from what I’ve heard, HR will be giving him a talking to.” 

“Sensitivity training,” Lucas said grimly. He slammed his weights on the ground. “That’s what Reagan told me. He has to go through sensitivity and bias training.” 

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Frankel said. 

Lucas stared glumly at the floor. He hated this, all of this. 

Frankel cocked her head and stared at she lifted up a medicine ball. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked, hefting the ball toward him. 

“Besides everything?” Came Lucas’s response as he caught the ball

Frankel eyed him for a long moment, not breaking his gaze, even as lucas tossed the medicine ball back and Frankel caught it.

“Vic and I had a fight,” Lucas said. “I didn’t tell her about probation and she was not very happy to hear that.” 

“You’re an idiot,” Frankel said. She threw the ball back to him. 

“I’m a-what?” Lucas asked. 

“An idiot,” Frankel replied, drawing the word out. 

“You haven’t even heard the whole story,” Lucas tried, tossing the ball back. 

“You hid the fact that you were in danger of losing your job from your partner,” Frankel said. “And, now, you’re confused because she’s upset. You’re an idiot.” 

“I’m not an idiot,” Lucas said. “I didn’t want to tell her because I didn’t want to stress her out.” 

“So you hid pertinent information from her until she was 37 weeks pregnant and she found out on her own?” Frankel asked. “And then what happened?” 

Frankel was perceptive; she could tell that there was more to the equation than what Lucas was saying. 

“I may have thrown the fact that she didn’t tell me in her face,” Lucas said sheepishly. “And then I felt bad about it and I apologized.” 

“Hold on,” Frankel placed the medicine ball down. “Let me get this straight: First, you don’t tell your partner and mother of your child that you’re at risk for losing your job. She has to find this out from a third party. Second: instead of apologizing and admitting your mistake, you apologize and try to justify not discussing pertinent information with her by Third: blaming it on her _own stress_ levels. And then, you top it all by reminding her that she hid her pregnancy from you, which, to bring things back to point one, might make her feel like maybe she was justified in not telling you about the entire situation because it ended up screwing up your work life so badly that you felt like you couldn’t even tell her about it.” 

“That’s not what happened, I-“ Lucas paused, processing. Frankel had a point, a really, really good point. “Shit,” he said. 

“You are an idiot,” Frankel said again. “A real, bonafide idiot. It’s probably not even about the fact that you’re on probation. It’s about the fact that you hid pertinent information from her, related to your job, which, whether you like it or not, affects the both of you.” 

“Shit,” Lucas said again. 

“You should probably apologize,” Frankel said. “Like genuinely, now that you actually know what you did wrong.” 

“How did you come to that conclusion?” Lucas asked. “That me not telling VIc probably made it feel like it was her fault.”

“I’ve been in a similar situation,” Frankel sighed. She wasn’t one to divulge personal information. “Back in ’05, Grace lost her job at the middle school because we were outed.We had originally decided against it because of her job, but it happened accidentally because of one my colleagues. They terminated her contract, and Grace told me that she quit because she didn’t like the work environment and she wanted to try out grad school. I found out she got fired like 6 months later, and I was pissed because she didn’t tell me, and then I felt guilty because I had wanted to come out and she didn’t, even though the situation was so much more complicated. So, I get a little bit of what Hughes is going through, not everything, but enough to know that you acted like a complete idiot about this whole situation.” 

“Oh,” Lucas said. 

Frankel nodded. Her phone rang. “Well,” Frankel said, glancing at her phone. “I guess Grace’s ears must’ve been burning. Let me take this.” 

Lucas nodded. He sat down on the bench in the workout room. He had fucked up, and royally so. 

He needed to apologize, to make things right. He was going to be a father in less than three weeks, and the thought alone was terrifying, but the thought of not making up with Vic before their son was born was even moreso. 

Lucas grabbed his phone. He had a phone call to make. 

-X-

**Voicemail Transcript:**

_Hey, Vic… uh… it’s Lucas. But you know that because… caller ID… uh, I just wanted to say that I was sorry for everything last night. I didn’t look at things from your perspective and I said some things that I definitely shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry for that. We, uh, should probably talk more when you get off shift today, so that it can be face-to-face. I hope you and Bean are doing okay. Uh, love you both, um… uh… bye._

-X-

 **GABBY:** Hey, sis, I totally forgot to mention this last night and I didn’t want to wake you. We’re taking the summer research interns to Portland for a leadership conference. I’ll be back later tonight, but we had to leave at 5 because the conference starts at 8 o’clock. There’s some Greek yogurt and fruit in the fridge, but not a whole lot for breakfast because I need to go grocery shopping. :/ Sorry I had to leave. Text me if you need anything. 

-X-

Vic woke to her phone alarm going off. She had intentionally set it to go off earlier so that she could wake up in time to drive back to Seattle. In hindsight, driving to her sister’s house an hour away wasn’t the best idea.

It took Vic a moment to remember where she was, as she peered around the room and spotted multiple Spider-Gwen and Miles Morales posters. She was in Nina’s room, in Nina’s twin sized bed. 

Her back hurt like hell, probably due to aforementioned twin sized bed. Vic sighed. A shower sounded nice, especially given that it would probably help alleviate some to the pressure in her back. 

She huffed, sat up, and walked out of Nina’s room. 

She showered quickly. Even though the water felt incredible, Vic was anxious to get on the road and get to work. Her conversation with Lucas would have to wait until she finished her shift, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least call or text him and let him know that she was okay. 

Vic took a deep breath in. This was absolutely going to be the last time she slept on a child’s bed. It hurt more than she had expected, mostly in her lower back area, which probably also had something to do with the fact that she no longer had her memory foam body pillow that had helped tremendously. 

Vic kneaded her back gently and walked into Gabby’s kitchen. She opened the fridge. True to Gabby’s word, there was some Greek yogurt and fruit, but not a ton of choices for breakfast. There was a shelf in the fridge that was most likely Nina’s, given the excessive amounts of bright colors on it. She spotted a tube of strawberry yogurt, which honestly sounded far better than Greek yogurt did at the moment, dyes and preservatives be damned. 

Vic grabbed a tube of Gogurt from Gabby’s fridge and scrolled mindlessly through Facebook as she ate. Everything was a little bit overwhelming. 

Lucas had left a voicemail, and Vic listened to it as she tossed her Gogurt in the trashcan and wiped off the counter.

He was right, they needed to talk, and Vic was extremely thankful that Lucas had apologized. Vic knew that she needed to apologize too. It would make their conversation so much easier. 

She glanced at her watch, it was 6:30. Without traffic, she should be on time to work with a little time left to spare. 

She sighed. It was going to be a long day, and Vic knew that she should wait until Lucas’s lunch break to call him. That way, they actually had time to talk and sort things out. 

Vic pulled out her phone and shot him a quick text. 

**Vic** : _Hey, thank you for calling and apologizing. Me and Bean are doing good this morning, although my back hurts from sleeping wrong on Nina’s bed. I’m driving into work from Tacoma, but could you give me a call when you’re on your lunch break? We should probably wait until we get home to actually talk, but I do want to at least clear up some things. I love you too._

Vic placed her phone back into her pocket. 

Then, she turned and grabbed her keys from Gabby’s bowl. 

She sent a text to her sister. 

_Leaving now._

Gabby replied almost immediately with a thumbs up emoji.

Vic opened the door and quickly stepped out. She heard the door click shut behind her and then a moment later she heard the electronic lock sliding into place. Gabby had done it remotely from her phone. 

_Thanks again for everything, and I stole one of Nina’s Gogurt. She attached a face with its tongue sticking out._

_Nina will live. She eats too many of those anyway.  
And like I said, that’s what sisters are for._

-X- 

Vic clutched the wheel tightly as a Braxton Hicks hit her. They were more frequent, Vic noticed, as she got closer to her due date. But, as of earlier this morning, they felt more painful, which probably was the result of sleeping on a child’s hard, uncomfortable bed. 

She was almost into town, about fifteen minutes from the station. Hopefully she could spend some time on one of the comfy couches at work. At this point, anything would be more comfortable than Nina’s bed. 

Vic peered around the road, sighing with relief as she passed by the little bakery shop that was fifteen minutes from the station. They had the best kolaches. 

As she passed, Vic peered curiously into the parking lot, maybe she should stop and get some kolaches. The team would appreciate it. 

She pulled into the parking lot and parked. 

There was a car parked when Vic stepped out of her vehicle. The hood was open and it was smoking. 

“Thank you,” Vic could hear a voice saying. It sounded familiar. Come to think of it, the car looked familiar. 

Vic walked closer to the car, and she was surprised to see Sullivan leaning against the passenger side door. “I won’t be able to be here for two more hours. Yes, I cna leave the car here.” Sullivan sighed. “Thank you,” he said again. “Okay, that’s fine.” 

“Hey,” Vic said, walking up to Sullivan’s car.

“Sullivan,” She said easily. 

Sullivan looked up. 

“Hughes,” Sullivan said. “I can’t say I was expecting to see this far out of town.” 

“I was visiting my sister,” Vic explained. “She lives in Tacoma. What’s wrong?” 

“I stopped to get some kolaches for the team, and when I got back in the car it wouldn’t start. My car’s a piece of shit.” Sullivan tapped the hood. “But she’s sentimental and…” 

“You don’t want to get rid of her,” Vic finished for him. 

Sullivan nodded. “The tow truck guys said they’ll be here in two hours. I talked to the bakery owners and they said they won’t tow unless it’s here overnight, and frankly, I was about to call an Uber to get to work.” 

“I guess today’s your lucky day. I was actually about to pick up some kolaches, but I guess you’ve got that covered,” Vic said. “I can give you a ride.” 

“You sure?” Sullivan asked. 

“We’re headed to the same place,” Vic replied easily, flinching as another Braxton Hick hit. Dr. Deluca mentioned that the Braxton Hicks were going to increase in intensity as Vic got further along, but Vic hadn’t been expecting them to actually hurt. The websites seemed to mention more discomfort than anything. 

Vic huffed. Maybe she should get things checked out later today.

Sullivan grabbed his duffel bag from his car and then climbed into the passenger side. “Thank you, Hughes,”’he said. 

“It’s no problem,” Vic answered. “Really. We’re going to the same place anyway.” 

Sullivan smiled. 

Vic pulled out of the parking lot and back onto the road. 

She flinched as another Braxton Hicks hit her. This one stronger and more intense. God, this was painful. Vic fiddled with the radio and glanced at the clock. She adjusted the music until it filled the car, eliminating the increasingly awkward silence. 

She was stopped at a red light when the next one hit her. Vic glanced at the clock on the dashboard. Almost a minute apart from the previous one. 

_Shit._ Vic clutched the steering wheel tightly as the Braxton Hick, no- the contraction intensified. 

“You okay?” Sullivan asked. 

Vic shook her head and turned on her blinker. “I’m in labor,” she said calmly. 

“Are you okay? Should we call Ripley?” Sullivan asked quickly. He suddenly looked more nervous. 

“I need you to drive,” Vic said. “We can call Luke when we’re closer to the hospital. He’s at work right now, and if he gets to the hospital before us, he’s just going to worry himself sick.” 

Vic pulled over and unbuckled her seatbelt. 

The two of them switched seats relatively quickly, with Sullivan slipping into the driver’s side. 

“Do you need me to speed?” Sullivan asked. 

Vic shook her head. “We’re maybe fifteen minutes from Grey Sloan and the last thing we need is to get pulled over.” 

They rode in silence for a moment. Then, Vic felt it. The pregnancy books had described the desire to push vaguely, as it was different for every person in labor. But Vic felt it. She knew exactly what this was, what it meant. 

She also knew that there was no way they were going to make it to the hospital on time. Not with the current progression of her labor. 

Vic was definitely having a precipitous labor. There was no doubt about that. 

There was no other way for her to have woken up feeling fine only to be ready to push less than two hours later. 

“Sullivan,” Vic said. She gasped, and then she gripped the passenger handle tightly as a contraction tore through her. The books weren’t kidding. It hurt like hell. “Pull over and call 911. This baby is coming right now.” 

“You sure?” Sullivan said, turning to face Vic. “We’re not too far out from the hospital.” 

“He’s not going to wait and I would rather not give birth while in a moving vehicle,” Vic said sharply. She glanced at her knuckles. They were pale from gripping the handle with such intensity. 

Sullivan pulled over. 

“Call an aid car,” Vic said. 

She unbuckled herself and stood, barely trusting herself to make it to the back seat, where she at least had room to lie down.

“There’s towels in the trunk and a first-aid kit in the glove compartment,” Vic heaved. She was incredibly grateful that Lucas had had the foresight to pack both of their cars with towels, heat blankets, and first aid supplies. Vic was also glad that she had seat covers on her back seat, usually for when she transported Nina, who was prone to spilling like… everything, or when Vic was designated driver and she didn’t want Maya or Andy puking on her seat. 

Vic drew in a long breath as another contraction overwhelmed her. 

She laid back on the seat, trying to get comfortable, which was nearly impossible in this damned car. At least she had a pillow to put under her head. Vic quickly removed her pants and underwear, not caring that she was on side of the road. Her baby clearly wanted to come out, and he wanted to come _now_. He was determined to be early, like his father. 

“This is Robert Sullivan from Station 19. We need an Aid Car near 502 Webster Ave,” Sullivan was saying as he grabbed supplies from the glove compartment. “We have a woman in precipitous labor and she is about to give birth.” 

Sullivan paused for a moment. 

“I can deliver the baby without assistance if need be,” he said. 

There was another pause. “Okay, yes, thank you,” Sullivan said. 

He hung up the phone. “Aid Car is 9 minutes out,” he said to Vic. 

“Dammit Station 23!” Vic said as another contraction hit. Her nails dug into her palm.

“Hand me the stress ball in the glove compartment,” Vic said as the contraction passed. 

Sullivan nodded and handed her the stress ball the she kept in the glove compartment. Vic squeezed it tightly. The baby moved, and Vic could feel some (of what she presumed was) amniotic fluid flow out. That explained why her water hadn't broken. The baby's head had most likely been plugging her cervix, preventing the amniotic fluid from escaping.

Sullivan walked around to the back of the car. Then, he paused, awkwardly avoiding looking at Vic’s vagina. 

“For fuck’s sake, Sullivan,” Vic said, rolling her eyes. “Get over it. You’ve probably delivered multiple babies on the job.” 

“I know,” Sullivan said. His face was unreadable. “It just feels weird.” 

“There’s not really time to feel weird,” Vic said. She gasped and bared down. 

Sullivan got over whatever was holding him back and instead focused on the fact that Vic was in labor. 

“Shit,” Sullivan swore. “I can see his head.” Sullivan was quiet for a moment. Vic tried to sit up and move her head to see better. She was hit by another contraction. “What’s wrong?” Vic asked. 

She saw Sullivan visibly swallow. “I think his umbilical cord might compressed but I can’t tell.” Sullivan took a deep breath. “I don’t know if it’s compressed, but if it is then we need to make sure that he gets out now.” 

Vic couldn’t breathe. Something was wrong. Something was wrong. Something felt wrong. She was scared for Bean. “What if?” Vic swallowed. “What if he’s not okay? What if something happens? What if he…” Vic couldn’t bring herself to finish. Her breath felt shallow, like she was trapped in a smoky building. 

“Easy, easy, Hughes,” Sullivan said. “You need to focus on breathing and getting him out. That’s the best thing you can do for him. You’ve got to calm down, take some deep breaths. What stress relievers did you learn about in Lamaze class?” 

“Sometimes,” Vic breathed out. “When I’m stressed, I sing the teapot song. I read it like, tricks your brain or something.”

“Okay then,” Sullivan said. “I’m a little teapot short and stout,” he began. 

Vic almost laughed at the way that Sullivan sounded but then another contraction hit. “Here is my handle, here is my spout,” she joined through gritted teeth. 

“When I get all steamed up, hear me shout:” 

“Head’s out,” Sullivan said calmly. “His cords wrapped around his neck but I think I can get it without pulling on the cord.” 

Vic couldn’t see anything, but the moment that she waited felt like the longest moment of her life. 

“I’ve got it,” Sullivan said. Vic could hear the suction bulb going as he spoke. “Let’s get little guy’s shoulders out,” Sullivan said. 

His shoulders somehow hurt both more and less than his head did. But, two pushes later and he was out. 

The baby’s cry started out as a low whine, but it was there, soft and perfect and the most beautiful sound that Vic had ever heard. Sullivan placed the baby on Vic’s stomach and Vic lifted her head slightly so that she could get a better view of the baby. 

He was tiny, and his hair was a soft brown color. It was already starting to curl, and Vic knew that he was going to have the curliest locks. 

“Hey, little guy,” Vic said softly. “Hi,” she said, and she felt overwhelmed by emotion. She was holding her son, a perfect creation of her and Lucas. A tiny, incredible little thing. It was a lot to take in. 

“Hughes,” Sullivan said, his voice was soft, but Vic could hear the undertone of concern accompanying it. “You feel okay?” He asked. 

“Yeah, I feel,” Vic turned to look at Sullivan. He was staring at the towel beneath her, looking incredibly concerned. Vic had only delivered a handful of babies on the job, and most of the time it was a messy experience. There was usually blood, lots of it, but looking down at the puddle, at the soaked towel, Vic felt nothing but dread. She had _never_ seen this much blood during a delivery, at least, not before the placenta was delivered, and it was a lot of blood, enough to drench the towel. 

“Oh my god,” Vic whispered. “Take the baby,” Vic heard herself say. 

“What?” Sullivan said, and he sounded far away.

“Take the baby,” Vic repeated firmly. She didn’t have time to explain, and thankfully, Sullivan listened and carefully grabbed the baby from her. 

Vic could hear the sirens in the distance.

“Finally,” Vic said out loud, or at least she tried to. _Station 23 is so slow_ , her brain unhelpfully reminded her, and it was the last thought she had before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **In-depth Warning: Vic goes into precipitous labor, gives birth in her car, and it's heavily implied that she begins hemorrhaging blood. Please tread with caution if something like this can trigger you.**
> 
> Um... oops. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Please don't kill me. 
> 
> Fun facts related to this chapter: I know what you're thinking, as a medical technician, how did Vic not realize she was in labor. And I bring to you, one of, what I think, is the greatest examples of how stupidly wonderful my friends are. Fun fact, one of my friends/mentors (who is also a trans dude) worked as a Labor and Delivery nurse for 2.5 years (then switched to Peds, but that's not important.) He did not realize he was in labor until literally a half hour before his daughter was born. She was literally five minutes from being born in the car, and our friend group has collectively decided to never let him live that down. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not a healthcare worker. I a fully aware that some situations might seem medically inaccurate, and lbr, they probably are. There's no amount of research that can replace being an actual healthcare worker in the field. I did my share of research (and asking my Maternal and Infant Development Profs awkward questions because I have no filter) but again, I'm not a healthcare professional. I apologize for any inaccuracies and feel free to call me out. I won't cry (that much.)
> 
> Anyway, I'm so sorry to end this chapter this way, but it had to be done.
> 
> Please don't kill me (or do, I really don't care either way.) Or you could leave comments and just murder me emotionally.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. This is how it ends. 
> 
> Sorry this took so long. I realized I was dragging my feet because I don’t want it to end. Because when it ends, then what now? What do I do? I have a few projects in mind, but this fic has been my baby for almost four months. It has largely been a labor of love. And it hurts me to finish. 
> 
> As always, you know the drill. This chapter was brought to you by spring break, juice boxes, Marble Slab, still not having my neuroscience test graded, ice cream, and tortilla chips. 
> 
> Trigger warnings: Discussions of medical procedures related to uterine hemorrhaging.

Lucas couldn’t breathe. Sullivan had called him to tell him that Vic had gone into labor, they had delivered the baby breech on the side of the road, and then Vic began hemorrhaging.

She was in an aid car and they were on their way to Grey Sloan Memorial.

He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

It was by some miracle that he happened to be having a meeting downtown because he grabbed his jacket and sprinted the three blocks to the hospital. And now, he waited in the ambulance bay for a vehicle with Vic and their child.

He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t function beyond needing to know if they were okay. It was the only thought in his mind.

He could hear the sirens blaring as they entered the ambulance bay, and seconds later doctors were running full speed at the Aid Car.

They swung the doors open, and there she was.

Vic, more pale than he had ever seen her, covered with a heat blanket.

“Patient is a 27 year old female who just gave birth. She began hemorrhaging and we believe it’s the result of an intrauterine tear,” the EMT, who Lucas recognized as Watson said.

“Take her to trauma 2 for an assessment,” one of the doctor’s called out. 

“Vic,” Lucas called out, because seeing her there, near lifeless, was the most horrifying thing that he had ever seen. “Vic!” He yelled, willing her to respond.

He barely heard the other Aid Car enter the bay. His sole focus was on Vic. He tried to reach her and get closer.

“Sir,” one of the doctors said. “Sir, you need to take a step back.”

Lucas could barely hear the doctor’s warning as he lunged for the gurney carrying Vic. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. He needed to see her.

“Sir!” Another doctor yelled, louder this time as they entered the automatic doors.

“Please,” he said as he touched Vic’s hand. It felt lifeless. She felt lifeless. He tried to get closer.

“Sir,” someone said, placing their hand on his shoulder.

He bucked it off violently, struggling to get closer to Vic, to see her, to hold her.

He didn’t want to lose her.

He was almost there when someone, not one of the doctors, yanked him back and shoved him against a wall.

Lucas flailed blindly, fighting against the person that was keeping him from Vic.

The person pushed back, and Lucas shifted his focus to see who it was. It was Sullivan. Sullivan who had delivered his baby on the side of the road and then called him and said that Vic was dying.

Lucas peered around Sullivan, to see that they were wheeling Vic into the trauma room. He needed to see her, needed to hold her.

He fought, hard, and Sullivan pushed back again. “Luke!” Sullivan yelled, applying a small amount pressure. 

The pain forced Lucas back to reality.

“Look at me,” Sullivan said, and Lucas stared at him, his blue eyes on his best friend’s brown ones. “They need to work on her, and you need to let them. They need to take care of her.”

“I need. I need...” he gasped out, struggling for wards and for air. “She’s my...”

“I know,” Sullivan said. “I know. I know.”

He wanted to yell at Sullivan, to scream that he didn’t know, he didn’t know that he was going to lose the woman he loved. “You, you,” He stuttered out, and then the thought struck him.

Sullivan knew exactly what he was going through. He had experienced it fifteen years prior, and the roles had been almost exactly reversed. 

The fight left Lucas, and he slumped into Sullivan’s arms.

It was like a dam had been broken, and Lucas began to sob, loud heavy sobs. He was soaking Sullivan’s shirt, but Lucas couldn’t bring himself to care.

The two of them settled onto the floor. Lucas sobbed and Sullivan rubbed soothing circles onto his back.

He sobbed, and he sobbed. 

Then, it hit him, like a ton of bricks. His son. 

In the turmoil and stress of not knowing whether Vic was going to live, he had had tunnel vision. He loved Vic, more than he had ever loved anyone else, and yet, there was someone who needed him.

“My baby,” he whispered. “Where’s my baby?”

As if his question had summoned him, a doctor approached.

“Mr. Ripley,” he said. The doctor was wearing the navy attending scrubs and he was smiling softly. 

“Yes,” Lucas said, looking up.

“I’m Dr. Karev,” he said. “Your son is stable if you’d like to follow me,”

Lucas nodded, and then he slowly stood up. Sullivan helped him up.

He followed the nurse wordlessly to the NICU.

“He’s extremely healthy,” Dr. Karev noted as they walked. “We brought him into the NICU for observation because his pulse ox dipped to 87 when he was in the ambulance. For healthy babies, we like to see that number above 95. We put him on oxygen for a few minutes, but otherwise, he’s incredibly healthy. Excellent respiratory statistics, his pulse oc is at 96 right now, he has a good heart rate, and he’s pinked up.”

They took the elevator and a moment later they arrived in the NICU.

“Go ahead and wash your hands with warm water and soap for at least sixty seconds. We just want to be sure that you don’t spread any germs,”

Lucas obliged, and he thoroughly washed his hands.

“Alright,” Dr. Karev said. He smiled warmly.

Lucas followed him through the doors of the NICU. Many is the babies inside were tiny, fragile, and Lucas’s heart broke.

They arrived at an incubator near the back.

Lucas peered inside, and his heart stopped.

“He’s doing extremely well,” Dr. Karev said. “He’s on room air, and we’ll probably move him to the regular nursery in a few hours. We just wanted to keep an eye on him.”

The baby was easily the most beautiful baby that Lucas had ever seen. He was tiny and pale, lighter than even Lucas had expected. He still had vernix on his skin, Lucas noted. But he was still absolutely beautiful. His tiny eyes were opened, and Lucas noticed that they were a light blue, which was typical for newborns, and they would probably change color when he got older.

“Would you like to hold him?” Dr. Karev asked.

Lucas nodded, unable to trust himself to speak.

Dr. Karev carefully lifted the baby up and then he gently placed him in Lucas’s outstretched arms.

Lucas stared down at his son. He was so beautiful. He looked like most newborns did, his features too scrunched up to tell which of them they belonged to. Lucas wondered who the baby would look like. He hoped that the baby would look like Vic. Although, perhaps, it would be easier if the baby looked like him if… if… Lucas’s mind trailed off. He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. They’d cross that bridge when, if, they came to it.

“Hello, little guy,” Lucas said softly. “I know things are messy right now, and a little bit scary. Honestly, I’m a little scared myself. But I know the doctors; I’ve met a lot of them. They’re going to do the best job they can.” The baby gurgled, as if perhaps he understood. “You’re, hands down, the cutest baby I’ve ever seen, and I might be a little biased, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a baby cuter than you. And I already love you so much, little one. I’ve loved you since I found out about you, and that love has only gotten stronger. And I can’t believe that you’re already here. It seems like just yesterday you were in your mom’s uterus.” Lucas chuckled to himself. “That was my first dad joke,” he said. “Was it good?”

He drew in a shaky breath, and it took him a moment to realize that he was crying. Tears of joy, he realized. He was holding his son, after all.

“I’ve waited so long to meet you,” Lucas whispered. “And I’m sorry that the circumstances aren’t better. I love you, little man.”

“Sir,” a voice said softly.

Lucas turned around.

“My name is Xiomara,” the woman said. “I’m the nurse assigned to your son.” Xiomara held up a bottle. “It’s about time for your little one to have a bottle. You can feed him if you prefer. We encourage it, to promote bonding. And I can show you how.”

Lucas smiled softly and nodded.

Xiomara pointed him toward a brown rocking chair. He sat down in the rocking chair, careful not to jostle his son. 

Xiomara handed him the bottle.

Lucas gently guided the bottle into the baby’s mouth. It took the baby a moment to adjust, and Lucas had to try a couple of times for the baby to get used to it, but after a moment, his son wrapped his lips gently around the bottle. Then, he began to suck softly, making tiny grunting noises as he did so.

Xiomara observed. “His suck-swallow-breathe mechanism looks good,” she said lightly. She smiled.

Lucas watched, in awe, as the baby slowly drank his bottle. He was only two hours old, and already, this baby was the most incredible human being that Lucas had ever met.

He heard the shutter of a phone camera and he looked up. Sully was standing there with his iPhone.

“You’ll want some photos,” Sullivan said. “For later.”

Lucas nodded. “Thank you,” he said. And he meant it. “Not just for the photos, for everything, for taking care of her and…” Lucas trailed off as his voice broke.

“It’s what you would've done,” Sullivan said, and his own voice was heavy with emotion. “It’s what you tried to do.”

Lucas knew immediately what Sully was referencing, and Lucas couldn’t help but wonder what emotions Sullivan was feeling right now. It had to hurt, Lucas realized.

He didn’t get a moment to respond before someone was calling out his name.

“Lucas!” The voice said a second time. It was shockingly loud for them being in the NICU. Lucas looked up to the sound of the voice.

It was Matthew Hughes. He look stressed, and his eyes were clearly red rimmed behind his glasses. He was wearing a three piece suit and it looked like he had just returned from work.

“Sir,” Lucas said softly.

The baby had finished his bottle, and now his eyes had drifted closed.

“They said Vicky is still in surgery, but that the baby was down here,” Matthew began. “Rose is on her way with the kids but there’s traffic apparently, going through Tukwila, so they have to drive through Renton, and…” Matthew trailed off as he observed the bundle in Lucas’s arms.

“He’s so little,” Matthew said, in awe. “I forget how little babies are.”

And Lucas has to agree, because he’d seen and held so many babies, but seeing his son felt like he had never actually seen a baby before. He was so little, despite being just under 7 pounds.

Lucas would’ve offered to let Matthew hold the baby, but he didn’t want to let go just yet.

“I should probably go,” Sullivan said. “The team is waiting for me, and we still have a shift to cover.”

Lucas nodded. “Keep me posted,” He said. “Frankel and the the Bat Chiefs knows I’m not on call, so reach out to them in case of emergency.”

“What should I tell them about Hughes?” Sullivan asked. His voice was soft.

“You’re their captain,” Lucas said. “Tell then what you think they can handle. We can’t afford to have an entire shift running to Grey Sloan Memorial. I know they’re close, but right now, the last thing the department needs, that I need, is all of 19 here.”

Sullivan nodded. “I’ll keep you updated,” he said. “Let me know if something changes or if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Lucas said.

Sullivan left and Matthew settled in the other chair next to the incubator.

The baby had drifted to sleep, so the only sounds that were there were the sound of the other monitors going on.

Lucas glanced at Matthew. His head was bowed, and his lips were moving. He was praying. Lucas realized. He knew that Vic wasn’t particularly religious, but her family definitely was. Matthew was scared, Lucas realized. And Lucas felt that fear too, even now, as he stared at his son, who was, for all intents and purposes, a miracle, he felt nothing but fear and terror.

He could lose Vic, and then where would that leave him, him and their baby, the precious little one in his arms.

Lucas was crying again before he could stop himself. God, everything was so damned terrifying, and Lucas had no idea how or if he could continue to breathe if he lost her. But he had to keep breathing, for the baby, if for nothing else.

Lucas didn’t know how long he cried for, but when he looked up, a different doctor was staring sympathetically at him.

“Hello, Mr. Ripley,” the doctor said gently. “I’m Dr. Lewis. I just wanted to give your little one a check up before we moved him to the regular nursery. We can give you guys a more private room if you prefer.”

Lucas nodded, and he grudgingly let go of the baby.

The doctor was gentle, and he carefully began checking the baby’s vitals.

He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Lucas turned and looked up to see Matthew.

“I know you’re terrified right now, but both of them are in the best hands possible,” Matthew said. “We’ll get an update on Victoria soon.”

Lucas nodded glumly. “I’m scared,” he said.

“Me too,” Matthew replied.

“It never goes away, does it?” Lucas asked. “The fear, when you’re a parent?”

Matthew shook his head. “It’s like having parts of heart running around outside of your body. If anything, the fear gets worse when they grow up and move away. But you’ve got a while before you need to think about that. Right now, focus on the present.” Matthew rubbed Lucas’s back.

“He looks good,” Dr. Lewis said. “We will go ahead and move him to a more private room in the nursery, and we’ll keep a pulse oximeter on him to ensure he’s getting enough oxygen.”

“Thank you,” Lucas said. “Do you know if there are any updates on my…” Lucas trailed off. “Are there any updates on Victoria?” His voice broke at the end.

“I’m not sure, but I can go and ask the doctors who are operating,” Dr. Lewis said. He turned toward the nurse. “Xiomara, can you take Baby Hughes to a more private nursery room and I’ll go get an update on his wife.”

Lucas didn’t correct him, too shocked and nervous at the prospect of finding out about Victoria’s condition.

Xiomara moved the baby toward a different part of the children’s level, and Lucas and Matthew followed dutifully.  
The room was smaller, and there was a curtain separating was Lucas could assume was them and another family.

Matthew’s phone pinged.

“Rose and the kids are here,” Matthew said. “I’ll go get them from the waiting area.”

Lucas nodded and watched has Xiomara attaches the pulse oximeter to the baby’s foot.

“This is just to monitor his blood oxygenation levels and to ensure he’s getting enough air,” Xiomara said. “If his pulse ox drops below 93, then we’ll come give him a look and we might have to put him on oxygen. But things are looking good for him.” She smiled warmly. “You can hold him some more if you want. I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes so that you can do some kangaroo care with him.”

Lucas stared at his son. He was so beautiful, and Lucas was still in awe of the tiny human.

The door to the room opened, and then Rose walked in, followed by Zach, who was completely engrossed in a game on his Nintendo Switch, and Cassie who was using two crutches instead of her usual wheelchair.

“Hi, Lucas,” Rose said, and then she enveloped him into a hug.

Lucas hugged Rose back tightly.

Rose was crying.

“Any news?” She asked as she pulled away.

Lucas shook his head. “The doctor said he’d have an update soon.”

Rose nodded solemnly.

Cassie awkwardly maneuvered herself and gave Lucas a gentle side hug.

“No casts,” Lucas said lightly, trying desperately to lighten the somber mood.

“I mean, I technically have a broken toe,” Cassie returned softly. “But baby steps.”

Zach barely looked up from his game, but he waved awkwardly.

“Zach really hates hospitals,” Cassie explained in a low voice. 

Lucas stared at Zach for a moment. Zach’s jaw was clenched tightly, and his hands were shaking even as he held on to his Switch tightly.

“You wanna meet the baby?” Lucas asked the two of them.

Cassie nodded. Zach said nothing but he carefully placed his Switch in his pocket. His hands were shaking now. 

The three of them walked over to the baby’s bed. Rose was already standing there, peering carefully at the baby.

“He’s so beautiful,” Rose said.

“He’s so little,” Cassie added, staring at him in awe.

“He looks weird,” Zach said quietly.

“You look weird,” Cassie retorted.

“Well, all babies look weird when they’re first born,” Zach said.

“You were once a baby,” Cassie admonished. “And you probably looked worse.”

“Given that there’s no photographic evidence of my purported infancy, I maintain that I am actually an alien beamed here from another planet,” Zach paused. “Besides, I said he looked weird not ugly. He’s a cute weird.”

“Does he have a name?” Cassie asked.

“Not yet,” Lucas replied. “We were going to wait-“ Lucas’s voice broke, and he inhaled sharply as he tried to continue.

Fortunately, he didn’t have to finish because Dr. Lewis stepped inside the room.

“I have an update for you,” Dr. Lewis said.

Lucas’s back straightened automatically as he turned to face the doctor. “How is she?”

“We transfused two units of blood,” Dr. lewis began. We did an emergency laparotomy and we were able to identify the source of the bleeding. Now we’re working on stopping the blood flow. If all goes well, Victoria should be out of surgery within the hour."

"Thank you," Lucas said. He drew in a long, steady breath. He knew the doctors at Grey Sloan were very good at their job, and their surgeons were brilliant. Vic was going to be okay. She had to be.

Dr. Lewis smiled sympathetically. "Please let me or a nurse know if you have any questions," he said. "I have a consult in a few minutes, but I will try to get another doctor in here to update you when she's out of surgery."

"Thank you," Lucas repeated, still barely able to process.

Dr. Lewis turned and left the room.

"We should pray," Rose said, together.

Lucas wasn't particularly religious, but praying felt better than just doing... _nothing_. And at the very least, it would comfort Vic's parents, who were remarkably calm despite the fact they looked pale and stressed. And Lucas couldn't imagine what they were going through. Already, he loved his baby more than anything on the planet, and he had no idea what he would do if it were is son in surgery close to death.

Lucas smiled warmly and then the five of them gathered into a circle around the baby's crib.

They took each other's hands, and Lucas ended up sandwiched between Rose and Zach.

"Heavenly Father," Rose began.

Lucas lost his focus after that, his mind wandering elsewhere. He wad terrified. Even though Dr. Lewis had said that Victoria's surgery was going smoothly, Lucas knew that he could still lose her. Unpredictable things happened all of the time in surgery. Medicine was unpredictable because the human body was unpredictable. He could still lose Victoria, and then where would that leave him. The thought of raising his son alone, without the woman he loved so fiercely was absolutely terrifying. He needed Victoria to live through this. He didn't know what he would do if she didn't.

Someone squeezed his hand. Lucas opened his eyes. It was Rose.

"Amen," she said.

A chorus of "Amens" rose around Lucas.

Lucas drew another long breath into his lungs. He was damn well terrified.

He turned to Rose. "Would you like to hold the baby?" He asked.

Rose paused. "Are you sure?" She stuttered. "I mean-"

"Vic would want you to hold him," Lucas said. "It's in her birth plan that if either of us couldn't hold him, then you could hold him first. I got to hold him, Vic got to hold him. I think Vic would very much want for you to hold him next."

And then Rose was crying, and Lucas's heart felt heavy. This was _not_ how he had been expecting the birth of his son to go. He had thought it would be a much more joyous occasion, but the threat of losing Vic seemed to dangle itself above his head. 

Rose walked over to the crib and very carefully picked the baby up.

The baby fussed a little at being moved, but eventually he settled, falling right back to sleep.

"He's amazing," Rose whispered. "He's so beautiful."

"I know," Lucas said. "He's incredible."

Rose settled in the rocking chair, staring at her grandson. 

There was a quiet beep in the room.

"I need to eat something," Zach piped up, checking a monitor on his hip.

"We can go to the cafeteria," Matthew suggested. "Cass, do you wanna come?"

Cassie nodded, and the three of them left the room.

Lucas stepped back and sat in one of the other empty chairs, watching the baby with his grandmother. He didn't know how long he waited, just watching the baby and Rose.

The door to the room opened again. Lucas looked up, expecting to see Matthew and Vic's younger siblings. It wasn't them.

"Mum," Lucas whispered, and a moment later he was in her arms, sobbing.

"Oh, my baby," Mum whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm scared," he said. And for a moment, he let himself be vulnerable. It was his Mum after all.

"I know, baby," Mum replied.

He stood there, hugging her for a long moment.

"Where's my newest grandson?" She asked when they pulled apart.

Lucas gestured to where Rose was holding him.

Mum grinned broadly.

"He's so tiny," Mum said as she approached.

Rose looked up and smiled.

"Lucas was almost 4 kilograms- nine pounds, when he was born," Mum noted, and Lucas could feel his cheeks flare.

"The doctor says he's six pounds and fourteen ounces," Lucas said. "He's around average for his gestational age."

"Vic was pretty small when she was born," Rose piped up. "She was just over six pounds at full term, and Jace was 5 pounds, three ounces at 37 weeks. They were both tiny but long."

"He's twenty-one and a half inches," Lucas added. "He's probably going to be pretty tall, at this rate."

Mum smiled.

"Would you like to hold him?" Rose asked Mum.

Mum was eager, Lucas knew. Lucas could tell that she was ready to jump out of her skin. Mum looked to Lucas for permission.

"You can hold him," Lucas said with a warm smile.

Mom beamed, and then she stepped forward. Rose carefully placed the baby in her arms.

"He's incredible," Mum noted.

"I know," Lucas said softly.

The three of them stood there for a long moment, Mum gently stroking the baby's skin.

There was a knock on the door. Then, Dr. Lewis and another doctor, Dr. Davis stepped inside.

Lucas's heart felt like it had thudded to a stop.

"She's did amazing," Dr. Davis said breathlessly. He beamed. "We were able to identify and stop the bleeding without having to do a hysterectomy like we originally thought. She's in the recovery room right now, but you'll be able to see her in less than an hour. We can’t predict when she will wake up, but it should be within the next 6 hours or so.”

“Oh my god,” Lucas said, and then he enveloped Dr. Davis in a tight hug. “Thank you, thank you.” 

Dr. Davis patted Lucas’s back awkwardly and Lucas pulled away. 

“Thank you,” he said.

“You’ll be able to see her in just a bit,” Dr. Davis said. 

“And what about the baby?” Lucas asked. 

Dr. Lewis’s lips quirked downward. “We’ll have to keep them separated until Victoria is healthy enough to move from one of the recovery rooms and down to the maternity ward. We don’t know for sure when they will be until she wakes up and we can give her an assessment. Is there someone who can stay with the baby or with Victoria?” 

Lucas nodded, even though his heart was breaking. “My family,” he said quietly. “They can sit with one of them.” 

“That’s excellent,” Dr. Lewis said. “I know that all of this must be difficult. I can arrange for you to meet with one of our hospital social workers or the chaplain if you’d like.” 

Lucas shook his head. “Thank you,” he said. 

“I’m glad that we could help,” Dr. Davis said. Then, he and Dr. Lewis turned and left the room. 

“She’s okay,” Lucas said, and for the first time since Sullivan called him, Lucas felt like he could breathe.

-X- 

Vic’s eyelids felt incredible heavy, but she forced them open. It took her a moment to realize where she was, but the steady beeping of a heart monitor gave her a clue. 

Then, everything came rushing back to her. 

“Vic?” A voice said softly. It was Lucas. 

“Our baby,” Vic said, and her voice felt harsh and raspy. “Where’s our baby?” Vic tried to sit up, suddenly acutely aware of that fact that her stomach felt pretty numb. 

“Easy, easy,” Lucas said softly. He grabbed a cup from the bedside table and gently brought it to Vic’s lips. Vic took a small sip, grateful for the cooling effect.

“The baby’s with my Mum and your siblings,” Lucas continued. “And I’m pretty sure Zach’s already trying to teach him to play Legend of Zelda or something.” 

Vic laughed softly. 

“I have a few pictures of him,” Lucas said. He handed her his phone and pressed the home button. His screensaver was a picture of him giving the baby a bottle. 

“He’s already your screensaver, you sap,” Vic said softly, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Sullivan took the picture,” Lucas said. 

“He saved my life,” Vic said, the realization dawning on her. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if I had been alone.” 

“You shouldn’t have been alone,” Lucas said softly. 

“We’re not doing this,” Vic said softly. “Lucas…” 

“No, I want to apologize,” Lucas said. “I’m sorry for what I said to you last night. I wasn’t thinking and it was really insensitive of me to make a comment about you hiding your pregnancy at the beginning. And I’m sorry for not telling you about probation. I realize now that we need to be open and honest about everything, even work, even if we think it might upset the other person. I can’t promise that I won’t say stupid shit anymore, because I’m human, but I can promise that I will be as open and honest with you from here on out.” 

“I forgive you,” Vic said quietly. “And I’m sorry too. I overreacted a little when I left, and I’m sorry for that. I’ll be better at communicating my emotionsin the future.”

“I forgive you; I love you,” Lucas said. He stood, and then settled close to Vic’s bed.

“I love you too,” Vic said. “Let's never fight again.” 

Lucas leaned in and gave Vic a kiss. Vic obliged, and despite the fact that her mouth was dry and she was in pain, it was one of the most incredible kisses that she had ever experienced. Perhaps it was the fact that she had come so close to death, or the fact that she had just given birth to their child.

“I love you,” Lucas said. “And our son. He’s so amazing.”

“I know,” Vic replied. “He’s pretty loveable. And he’s amazing. I’m already so in love with him.” Vic teared up. She was dying to hold her son again. “I want to hold him.” 

Lucas gently wiped away Vic’s tears. “Dr. Davis said he’ll come do an assessment and get you down to the maternity ward as soon as possible.” 

Vic smiled through her tears. She wanted nothing more than to see her son again. 

“He needs a name,” Lucas said suddenly. “Your mom told me about how you all called Jace “The Baby”for the first two weeks of his life because they couldn’t pick a name. We should probably pick something before that sticks.” 

“And I’m pretty sure my parents only chose his name because they had to start the paperwork process to adopt him and the lawyer kept asking for it,” Vic said. “Otherwise, he probably would’ve gone longer without a name. My mom really wanted him to have two first names and my dad didn’t. But they still end up calling him Jace-David most of the time, so it worked out I guess. So… names…” Vic stared at the picture. She knew which name she wanted. She had known it from the moment she held her son, but she had wanted to wait for Lucas. 

“I think we both know what we want his middle name to be,” Lucas said. 

Vic nodded. 

“But his first name…” Lucas pressed. 

Vic said her top choice.

Lucas’s face broke out into a grin. “That’s it!” He said. “That’s mine too!” 

“I think it’s very fitting,” Vic said. “I can already tell he’s going to be a little spitfire.” 

“Just like his momma,” Lucas said, giving Vic another kiss. 

“I love you,” Vic said again. 

“I would hope so,” Lucas replied. “I’m pretty loveable.”

-X- 

_16 Hours Later_

Travis was the first to enter the room. It was just after eight in the morning, and 19 had just finished their shift. 

Of course, they had all gone home to shower and change, but they were all eager to meet the baby. From what Vic was told, she knew that Sullivan had mentioned that Vic had had the baby, but he didn’t tell them that she had been in surgery until after Vic had been out of surgery in the recovery room. Otherwise, Vic had no doubt that 19 would have figured out a way to get themselves to the hospital. 

At least they had waited. Although, Vic knew that she was going to be bombarded in just a moment. She was glad that they had given her the okay to move down to the maternity ward four hours earlier. 

And, it was a good thing that the baby had just finished nursing, and he was now sleeping quietly against her chest. He probably wouldn’t mind being passed around by the team. 

“You look like shit,” Travis said as he entered the room. 

Vic chuckled. “Good morning to you too, Trav,” Vic said. “I just pushed a 7 pound kid out of my vagina and then I almost died. Of course I look like shit.” 

“But you look happy,” Travis added. He beamed. “And I’m excited to meet your baby.”

From her peripheral vision, Vic could see Lucas slowly awakening and sitting up in the recliner. 

“I guess since you’re first, you get to hold him first,” Vic acquiesced. 

“Does he have a name?” Travis asked. 

“Yes, he does,” Vic replied. “But it’s a mouthful and I don’t want to have to keep repeating it.” 

“Make sure you wash your hands,” Vic said. 

Travis nodded, and then disappeared into the bathroom. 

“Are we the first?” Maya asked as she and Andy walked into the room. 

Lucas shook his head. “Montgomery’s in the bathroom washing his hands.”

“Not everything has to be a game, Bishop,” Andy reminded her as the two of them headed to the bathroom as Travis walked out. 

Warren, shockingly, arrived next, despite his tendency to be late to everything, followed by Sullivan. They both quickly went to the bathroom to wash their hands. 

“He’s so little,” Travis said as Vic handed him the baby. 

“He didn’t feel that way when he was coming out of a hole the size of a lemon,” Vic retorted. “He was six pounds and fourteen ounces.” 

“Ouch,” Travis said. Travis stared at the baby in his arms. “Hi, little guy, your mom won’t tell me your name yet, so I guess I’ll have to call you little guy. But you might just be the cutest baby I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen lots of pretty babies. Aren’t you, little guy?” 

“Shhh,” Maya said, exiting the bathroom. “Isn’t he sleeping?” 

“If you talk normally now,” Lucas piped up. “He won’t get used to it being quiet when he sleeps, and then he won’t wake up at the drop of a pin.” 

“Does that actually work?” Andy asked. 

“It’s worth a shot,” Vic suggested.

“When Tuck was little,” Warren said. “Miranda played white noise before he went to bed. Now, the kid can and has literally slept through an earthquake. It’s possible.” 

Vic smiles warmly at that. 

“He’s incredible,” Travis said. 

“And so little,” Dean added, having just entered the room, followed by Jack. 

“Not little,” Vic retorted. “Six pounds, fourteen ounces out of a hole the size of a lemon with absolutely no pain medication. He was not little.”

“Okay, TMI,” Dean said quickly. 

“You kinda walked into that one,” Jack said. 

“Yeah,” Maya agreed. 

“Who’s next?” Travis asked. 

“We’re going in order of who came in, which I guess means that Maya’s next,” Vic said. 

“Yes!” Maya cheered. 

“Not everything is a competition,” Jack said. 

“That’s just what you say because you’re used to losing,” Maya teased. 

“Who cares about losing or winning?” Travis asked. “Everyone is here. Can you actually tell us the baby’s name?” 

“Okay,” Vic said. She smiled. “Little guy’s name is Aiden Robert Hughes Ripley.” 

“Hughes is his second middle name,” Lucas added. 

“Which I said was pretentious,” Vic finished. “I didn’t want to hyphenate his last name and was fine with just Ripley, but Lucas insisted.” 

“I like it,” Travis said. 

“Why Aiden?” Andy asked. 

“It means, ‘little fire,’” Vic replied. “Which we thought was perfectgiven the circumstances.” 

“Little fire,” Travis said. “It’s fitting.” 

“Yes,” Vic agreed. “It is.” 

-X-   
.  
Victoria Hughes liked things in her life to be uncomplicated.

Sure, fire fighting was complicated on the surface. But in reality, it wasn’t complicated. Problems had solutions, or they didn’t. If there was a solution, you got out of the building or the situation and you lived to see another day. If there was no solution, you didn’t. Difficult, certainly, but uncomplicated.

Victoria’s life had been largely uncomplicated. Except for right now.

Right now Victoria Grace Hughes was in what appeared to be an extremely complicated situation.

Right now, she was sitting in a hospital room, curled in a hospital bed with the Chief of the Seattle Fire Department. 

Right now, the two of them were cradling their newborn son, and things had been messy. They had been complicated, beyond complicated. 

But things were also incredible. Aiden was incredible, and he was beautiful, and he was wonderful, and Vic wouldn’t trade him for the world. 

She wouldn’t trade this for the world. 

“I love you,” Lucas said softly. “I love you both.” 

“And it’s a good thing,” Vic returned. “Because I’d say that we’re both pretty loveable.” She kissed Lucas softly. “And you’re pretty loveable too.” Vic paused thoughtfully. “If you had told me a year ago, that I’d be doing this, that we’d be doing this, I might have laughed in your face. But now, I can’t imagine, being anywhere else.” 

“Me either,” Lucas agreed. “I love you and I love Aiden so much. I can’t believe you made that.” 

“ _We_ made that,” Vic said. “It takes two to tango.” 

“You did all the hard work,” Lucas said. 

“But he’s still half of me and half of you,” Vic said. “Even though he looks just like you.” 

“They say the first one always looks like the father,” Lucas offered. 

“First one?” Vic teased. “I pushed a six pound, fourteen ounce kid out of my vagina with no pain medication, and I almost died. I don’t want to hear about another one just yet.” 

“I’m fine with just one or three or ten,” Lucas said. “It’s your choice.”

“Maybe just one more,” Vic said with a chuckle. “After I’ve recovered and after I’ve forgotten how much it hurts.”

“Right now, though,” Lucas said. “I’m content. I love you both.”

Lucas kissed Vic’s head and then Aiden’s head. 

“Love you both, too,” Vic replied. 

She and Lucas shared a long kiss.

Victoria Hughes liked things in her life to be uncomplicated. And this, curled in bed with the love of her life and her son, this was incredibly uncomplicated. 

**fin**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s a wrap, folks. Thank you for holding my hand and cheering me on as I worked to finish this fic. I know without a doubt that I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you for being a support system. I love this fandom and I can’t wait to see what where this show takes us. 
> 
> Thank you so so much for being here as I finished this story. I appreciate you all so much. Please comment or give kudos. I love the validation. 
> 
> ❤️❤️❤️


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